When I arrived at the San Francisco airport, Laura picked me up and we drove north toward Fort Bragg, which is on the northern California coast. The route took us through San Francisco and across the Golden Gate Bridge.
The freeway going north up the peninsula doesn’t continue straight across the Golden Gate, instead, it turns east and crosses the Bay Bridge to Oakland. To keep going north you have to get off the freeway and take surface streets through an older section of San Francisco to get to the Golden Gate Bridge.
On top of that, the main route was backed up, so we made a slight detour. The next few pictures are taken on a street one block off of, and paralleling, the slightly larger surface street route towards the Golden Gate Bridge.
Of course these photos, taken out the window of a moving car, do not do San Francisco justice. But you get the idea.
I enjoyed looking at the old houses while Laura navigated the traffic.
Here we are, driving on the iconic Golden Gate Bridge – shrouded in the iconic San Francisco fog.
The day then turned sunny as we headed north on Hwy 101.
The curvy mountain road from Willits to the ocean proved rainy, just as John had predicted. It was the final gauntlet between me and the beach – we were nearly there.
Finally we arrived in Fort Bragg. Our airbnb was a large loft above an old warehouse that had been converted to shops.
The loft was truly a set of pros and cons. On the plus side, it was one block from shops and restaurants. It had an expansive view of the ocean in the distance. And it had a full kitchen plus two bedrooms and two bathrooms, and one of the bathrooms had a sauna! What’s not to love?
For starters, I had a migraine coming on and I was unhappy with the distinctive smell of an old building in a damp climate. Also the white carpet was spotted and stained everywhere, in all the rooms.
I sent a polite text to the owner suggesting he clean it as soon as he had time between his guests, but he basically said it was a wool rug and there was nothing he could do about it. So I will mention it in my review. I thought it was a real downer. But Laura didn’t mind too much. She was just like, “Sauna!!!”
So yes, it had a sauna in one of the bathrooms.
We did use the sauna, although I think I would have appreciated it much more in the winter. Still, between the sauna and the unexpectedly warm temperatures, and the fact that we were in an upstairs, sunny loft, I was comfortable the entire time. Which is saying a lot! Usually when I go to the beach, I’m freezing the whole time. This time I didn’t even use the coat and warm hat that I brought all the way from Tucson.
The expansive ocean view from our loft included, in the foreground, warehouse roofs, dumpsters, parking lots, abandoned railroad tracks, abandoned rail cars, chain link fence, etc.
I will spare you the photos of the dumpster area just below our windows. Garbage was scattered around, attracting crows and who knows what else.
Here is looking east out the living room, over the warehouse roof.
Immediately out our north window was the depot for the Skunk Train.
The tourist train was fun to watch, but got a bit loud after awhile.
(I win the award for most boring videos – we know this already.)
We were hungry after the trip, and it was great to be able to walk two blocks to an excellent restaurant, Mayan Fusion. I loved that it was warm enough outside to eat out on the patio under the tent. Yay, vacation with Laura!
Of course we ordered fish. Mmmmm.
The food was as good as it looks.
Here is a picture of the outside of our Airbnb that I took the next day. When we first arrived, we had trouble finding it. Our door was hidden under this little awning:
We walked all around the building but couldn’t find anything that looked like the entrance to our Airbnb. Here it is, an unmarked door between two other doors:
The loft had its downsides but it turned out to be a fun place to stay. Up next – all our beachy adventures!
Their tagline is, “Arizona Republicans Who Believe in Treating Others with Respect” and then they go on to explain, “We are current or former Republicans, Moderates, Independents, and Conservatives who are supporting Kamala Harris this November because we believe the foundation of our democracy may be unalterably damaged if Donald Trump is re-elected.”
As you may know, Arizona has historically been Republican, but is now a swing state and important for the upcoming election.
The billboards variously read, “Republicans for Harris”, “Independents for Harris”, “Moderates for Harris”, and “Conservatives for Harris”. They’ve got a bunch up in Phoenix – none in Tucson yet.
I emailed them about including Tucson, and they said, “Find a spot and we’ll go from there.” Uh, how does one go about finding a place to put a billboard?
In case you’re wondering, yes, I am actually registered as an independent myself. But I’m sure they wouldn’t mind a few Democrats crashing the party. And you don’t have to live in Arizona to consider helping, because this is one of the states that is going to matter to us all in the upcoming election. https://secure.anedot.com/arizona-republicans-who-believe-in-treating-others-with-respect/donate
Next up – I’m still visiting friends and family in California and have lots of great photos, so I’ll try to get those up soon.
As all of you who know me or have been reading this blog know, I hate flying. But thanks to considerable thought and the suggestions of a variety of friends and family members, I’ve gotten so I can deal with it without (usually) bursting into tears at some point along the way.
Here I am, after a successful flight, waiting for Laura to pick me up.
I look like a space alien, but I don’t care. I was standing there happily bopping to my music rather than cringing and confused, overwhelmed by the noise, lights, smells and commotion of the arrivals pick-up area.
So what is with the get-up? At Laura’s mother-in-law’s suggestion, I have sewn buttons to the side of my baseball cap, which I use to hook the mask on so the straps aren’t cutting into the back of my ears. It’s already crowded enough back there with my glasses.
I wear a mask partially to help prevent getting sick, but more to hide my expression. I am one of those people who look angry when my face is relaxed. And if I look angry when relaxed, you can imagine how I look when I’m stressed. Looking very pissed is not a good way to ensure calm and friendly interactions with the strangers and customer service agents I am mingling with.
I even had a TSA agent once yell at me about the expression on my face (“What is your problem? Don’t you look at me like that!”). I was only just approaching and we had not yet even spoken to each other. That is how she greeted me. I am not making that up, it happened. It was surreal, actually. That is one of the many reasons I hate flying. I seem to be a target for stressed out airline attendants and other authorities, which is bizarre because I’m a small, white, older female. Trying to keep a pleasant look on my face for several hours straight is both exhausting and migraine-inducing. The mask helps a lot.
The noise canceling headset was the recommendation of both John and Emily’s husband, Bryan. They both travel a lot for work, and they are right, it helps enormously. It turns out I am very noise sensitive and airplanes are loud. In addition to canceling a lot of the noise, I use it to listen to a playlist of music I’ve downloaded onto my phone. My own music is familiar and grounding for me. Better than grounding – my music makes me downright happy.
So what was I up to while John was away in Alaska?
On that first Friday night, my friend Michelle and I went to Monterey Court to hear the local band, Southbound Pilot. I didn’t do a good job with the one photo I took – it doesn’t do justice to the lead singer, Vasanta Weiss. She is actually very dynamic onstage with an excellent vocal range.
On the way out there, Michelle came over and we carpooled to Monterey Court together. When she arrived at my house, it was in the midst of a big thunder and lightning storm. Tucson has regular flash floods during the summer monsoon rains, and I worried that the streets would soon be filled with water. I decided to take John’s 4Runner rather than my new little electric BMW i3. I also wanted Michelle to be able to leave her car off the street in my driveway, so I had her pull in, which blocked in my i3. (Given the excess number of vehicles we have, it’s a wonder I found a place for her on the driveway at all).
We hopped into the 4Runner, and as I started to back out (still in a blindingly loud thunderstorm), I could feel the car hesitating and balking. I checked – did I leave the emergency brake on? Everything seemed fine, so I backed out, shifted into drive and started on our way. It still seemed to run a little rough, but it was hard to tell in all the commotion and noise of the storm, and getting the wipers going, etc. But after about a block, the engine light turned on. Uh-oh. Did I somehow break his car? I circled the block, came home, and parked the car. Time for plan B.
I figured it would be fine to take the i3; I just wouldn’t be fording any arroyos. I opened the garage to unplug the i3, Michelle backed her car out of the driveway, I backed the i3 out, she parked back in the driveway and hopped in, and I nearly forgot to close the garage door. Michelle had to remind me. I don’t have an automatic garage door opener for the i3 yet, so I had to run back out in the rain and lightning to close it. Whew, by the time we were on our way, I was well rattled. Too much at once!
But we got there ok. I had already made reservations and crowds are slim during the heat (and storms) of the summer. We scored an excellent table in an alcove along the side quite near the band.
The venue seating is outside, but it is mostly covered. And I don’t think that part of town got any rain anyway. Our summer storms are very localized.
The food is good at Monterey Court, and the band turned out to be excellent too. We both danced. There were a few people who danced to nearly every song. I have no idea how they had so much energy, especially in the heat. And they were not young! It was nearly all women out on the dance floor, everyone having a great time.
The next day I met up with some of my friends from the Master’s Naturalist class I took last spring. Everyone was thanking me for putting it together, but all I did was email asking where people wanted to go and when people were available. I’d periodically do a reply-all email summarizing what they were suggesting and next thing we knew, we had a plan. We met at a family friendly brewery in the central part of town that was just perfect for a Saturday afternoon. I had never heard of it, so I was glad someone suggested it. We had a great turnout, and hopefully we’ll do it again. I forgot to take any pictures though.
Then the following day I went out again, this time with my new friend, Sam (she/her). I met Sam a few months ago when she came to an event I had scheduled through my “Let’s Dance” group I started on the Meet-up app. Here I am taking a random selfie while waiting for her.
That venue, called 3 Canyons, has a rather beautiful beer garden.
Unfortunately, the food is terrible and there’s no table service.
The band was good, https://www.conniebrannockband.com/little-house-of-funk/. Connie Brannock is the lead, and she has different musicians with her at different times. Her voice and style isn’t for everyone, but she is a talented musician and a good entertainer. Her back-up bands and other singers are good too. I think the one I particularly like is Aria Ratcliff. I’ll be watching out for her in upcoming shows.
And for those of you wondering about John’s 4Runner, now that he’s back from Alaska he’s working on fixing it. Turns out the 4th cylinder is misfiring.
Next up, my trip to California – during which I’m guessing John will fix his car. And maybe he will get the Mini Cooper sold too. Stay tuned.
John is home! Here is the account of last segment of his trip.
He left his lake cabin early Thursday morning (in the pouring rain) in order to catch a midday flight from Anchorage to Juneau. His flight back to Tucson wasn’t until Friday.
He writes, “I’m on my plane now. I didn’t have much time to spare, but all is good now!” He rarely runs late for anything (except getting home from work, lol). I asked him what he meant about not having much time to spare. Turns out he was running around trying to figure out how to unload his camping equipment without resorting to tossing it in a dumpster.
Instead of bringing his own camping equipment on the trip, he bought cheap camping gear after he got up there. This baffled me. He said he didn’t want to check a bag, but it is not expensive to check a bag, and the airlines rarely lose bags anymore. Checked bags were a lot less reliable a few decades ago. But for whatever reason, this was what he decided to do.
At the end of his trip, he planned to donate the camping equipment at a donation center. But the donation center he had picked out online turned out to be a blood donation center, not somewhere you could drop off household goods! He was running all around town trying to find a way to donate his camping equipment, but he had a plane to catch.
Later he wrote: “I couldn’t find an open donation center (goodwill, etc), so I saw a homeless couple walking near a homeless camp (in the pouring rain), and I donated my camping gear (tent, sleeping bag, mat, stove, dishes, bowls, tarp, camping chair, and fishing rod to them, plus the duffel bag most of it fits in). They were happy to have it. I was worried I was going to have to find a dumpster and trash it all, so this is much better. There are a lot of homeless in anchorage. I don’t know where they go in winter. Anchorage must be a magnet because it’s the biggest city around.”
So I’m glad that it all worked out and his equipment went to a good cause. And he caught his plane!
He writes: “Here are pictures from the plane of where I was supposed to be kayaking before the trip got cancelled. This is the little-traveled East Arm of Glacier Bay National Park.”
He wrote, “Juneau was beautiful yesterday from the airplane. That is Mendenhall glacier running into town.”
After arriving in Juneau from Anchorage, he had the afternoon available. His flight home from Juneau wasn’t until the following morning. He wrote, “I arrived at my hotel. It’s sunny in Juneau, so I booked a 3 hour whale watching tour from 3-6 pm. It was the last slot available. Everything else is sold out.”
Him and his last slots! He had gotten the last slot available on the hiking tour earlier in the week as well.
Here are a couple of beautiful pictures from his walk down from his hotel to the catch the whale watching tour boat in Juneau.
It truly was a beautiful day in Juneau!
And a picture from the boat:
He said he saw whales, but I don’t have any whale pictures yet. They must all be on the big camera.
The sunshine makes Juneau look like paradise, but I gather it is often fogged in (or worse). Those rare cloudless days in the northwest can be stunning.
The next day one of his planes had mechanical issues. They had already boarded, so they sat for an hour on the plane going nowhere while they were trying to fix the plane. Then everyone had to get back off the plane and wait some more in the airport for a new plane. Of course he missed his connecting flight. He was late getting home but we were very happy he managed to make it home that night.
Knowing that he could no longer outrun the rain, yet wanting to continue his adventure and not sit around in a hotel in town, John rented a lake cabin.
The cabin was a half-mile hike from the parking lot, which cut way down on the crowds. It also meant that without a backpack, he had to make two trips down the trail to bring in all his gear.
The cabin was luckily available for exactly the two days he needed it, partially because of the hike in, but also because it was the two slowest days of the week when the local shops shut down.
Because the local businesses were not open on Tuesday and Wednesday, the days he was there, he was unable to rent a canoe. But he could fish from the banks.
He had brought his rain jacket and fishing reel from home and had purchased a fishing license and some basic equipment – a rod and some tackle – upon arrival to Alaska. He was all set to fish in the rain!
The cabin was right on the lake, and it was adorable.
Unfortunately it did not have electricity or running water. But so cute!
The cabin was cute inside too.
Even the outhouse was cute. But not something I would want to try to find in the middle of the night in the rain.
John and I were thinking if that had been our cabin, we would buy a couple of solar panels, an inverter and bank of batteries, string a few wires, and we’d be all set. Actually I’d want a composting toilet installed too. That’s us, always looking to improve on our living arrangements.
The weather wasn’t too bad on Tuesday afternoon when he arrived.
But it rained all day Wednesday.
In the morning he fished in the rain.
By afternoon the rain was harder and he retreated into the cabin.
Apparently they got a record amount of rain for that day.
Ugh, mud.
The next morning he wrote, “I’m out of the cabin now and driving towards Anchorage. It’s still raining and everything is soggy mess. That’s why I live in the desert. 😀”
On Monday John went on a hike led by a ranger in Denali Park.
John wrote, “I’m back from our hike. I really liked it! We didn’t hike great distance, but we were out there for 6 hours plus over 2 hours on the bus. Weather was great – sunny and warm but high wind in the ridges. I saw moose, but the real highlight were the plants, especially the berries. All of the hiking was off trail bushwacking … but this is the best bushwacking through the brush I’ve ever done. There are branches to contend with but NO scratchy thorns. You can just push your way through. Here are some pics. Denali was out again!”
“This is our group of about ten with ranger on the left.”
“Blueberries! We hiked through so many blueberry bogs. They are everywhere, and they taste great. This is what the bears are eating now. No reason to eat people when you have so many yummy berries.”
He also sent me a photo of his dirty hiking sock, stained with blueberries, but I will spare you.
Here’s several mushroom pictures:
He says, “This is fireweed. You can use it to tell the coming of fall. The higher up the plant it is blooming, the closer you are to fall. This plant says that fall is approaching.”
Ha, to which I replied, “That and the fact that it’s August in Alaska.”
Another fantastic picture of the mountain:
His photos are coming through with weird image numbers. This batch ranged from IMG_0044 to IMG_8554, including some in the 2000’s and some in the 4000’s etc. They should actually all have similar numbers in numerical order (maybe missing a few that he decided to delete). But a range of 8,000? It makes it look like he’s taken 8,000 photos on his phone alone. He says it doesn’t know why that’s happening. But my brain still wants to know.
He also sent a picture of his dinner.
At first glance I thought that was pieces of dried mango softening in rice, which actually could be quite good. There is a Thai desert with mango and rice and sweetened cream or coconut milk. For a moment there I was impressed. But no.
He says, “I’m cooking dinner before my drive to Fairbanks. I call this one chicken-Fritos-rice soup. I am trying to up the salt. I had Raman last night, which was good. There is no salt added in the chicken or rice. I am also adding fresh Fritos for the crunch. 😀”
Uh, I prefer my Fritos crispy, not in soup. And John knows better than to go hiking and camping without salt and electrolytes! At least he didn’t add any of those mushrooms.
That night he was planning to stay at a Holiday Inn in Fairbanks. This sounded like a big improvement over his campsite the previous night, because a train was blowing its horn all night, waking him up repeatedly.
Then he wrote, “I’m at my hotel. I had to change from the Holiday Inn to this cool quirky former BnB called 7 gables inn. It has a detached bath, but the room rate was only $110 (half of what the holiday inn would have charged). They put a glass atrium in front of the building to grow plants. It’s weird in a cool funky sort of way. Here is a pic.”
I asked what he meant by he “had to change”?
“The holiday inn didn’t work because it was on an army base and you need military base access. I was annoyed because there was nothing in the hotel reservation system saying that you need base access to get to the hotel. The hotel looked fine and the rate was cheaper than the other chain hotels ($212), so that’s why I booked it. Then I had to cancel it and scramble to get a new place after arriving in Fairbanks. I really like this quirky hotel, so I will take some pictures. The bathroom for my room is outside the room down some stairs and around a corner. It is supposedly just for this room, and it worked out fine. 😀”
I’m glad he’s happy. Next up – a lake cabin and fishing in the rain. Stay tuned.
Here is a reprint of an article that I think is important. It’s variously titled, “A Cure for Our Anxious Young People” and “The Best Therapy for Our Anxiety Epidemic”.
This copy-paste reprint includes my own comments in a second section below the article.
The Best Therapy for Our Anxiety Epidemic
Solutions to the mental-health crisis striking young people in particular are within reach. By Arthur C. Brooks
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To note that a mental-health crisis is hitting American adolescents and young adults is hardly news—data to that effect emerge almost every day. The latest confirmation, in April, comes from a survey that I was grateful to help develop: This major survey, sponsored by the Walton Family Foundation and fielded by Gallup, revealed that some 38 percent of respondents aged 12 to 26 had received a formal diagnosis of anxiety or depression. That finding broke down by gender as 29 percent of young men and 45 percent of young women. Even among those who have not received a diagnosis, about half say they often feel anxious; a quarter say they often feel depressed.
In a search for answers and solutions, Jonathan Haidt’s recent best-selling book, The Anxious Generation, ascribed blame to the overuse of screens and social media. The Gallup/Walton data support his argument: Among adolescents and young adults who spent more than 20 hours a week on social media, 65 percent said they felt anxiety “a lot of the day yesterday” (as opposed to 49 percent of those who spent 20 hours or less so engaged); 49 percent of the heavy social-media users felt sadness for a lot of the day before (versus 26 percent of non-heavy users); and 80 percent of them felt a lot of stress (against 59 percent of those other users).
But I believe a deeper philosophical problem affects the lives of young people today as well, and of many people who are no longer young. Folks lack a sense of meaning; they don’t feel they know the “why” of their lives. Worse, evidence suggests that they’re not even looking for it, nor are we encouraging them to do so. This creates a feeling of hollowness and futility, especially when times are inevitably rough, and that encourages a culture that strives to provide a sense of security that is doomed to prove false and can only make the problem worse. If you see this syndrome taking effect in your life or in the life of someone you love, here is how to apprehend and address it.
I have written about the meaning of life, including the way to understand and define it, in a past column. In my research, I often refer to the work of the psychologists Frank Martela and Michael F. Steger, who have defined meaning in life as a combination of three elements: coherence (how events fit together), purpose (having goals and direction), and significance (a sense of the inherent value of one’s existence). I find this conception helpful because it takes a huge, amorphous problem (What is the meaning of life?) and breaks it down into three categories that, though they still require a lot of work, are more manageable. The big question thus becomes three smaller, more specific ones: Why do things happen the way they do? What are my goals in life? Why does it matter that I am alive?
A quite similar version of these questions appears in the Gallup survey, and the answers map powerfully onto the findings about unhappiness, depression, and anxiety. After my team and I investigated the survey’s microdata concerning the 18-to-26-year-olds, we found that 20 percent of them rarely or never felt that “things in my life happen for a reason” (the coherence measure). These young adults were 16 percentage points less likely to say they were “very happy” than their peers who often or always felt things happened for a reason (7 percent versus 23 percent); they were also 11 percentage points more likely to be diagnosed with anxiety or depression (48 percent versus 37 percent). Similar patterns applied among the young adults who answered “rarely” or “never” on the purpose and significance questions.
One explanation for this pattern might be that, for some reason, depressed and anxious young people simply can’t come up with answers for these questions. But it’s also possible that these are the ones who simply aren’t looking. Consider the longitudinal survey data from the Higher Education Research Institute at UCLA showing that, over a 40-year period starting in the mid-1960s and ending in 2006, the percentage of American undergraduate freshmen students that reported that “developing a meaningful philosophy of life” is a “very important” or “essential” personal goal fell from 86 percent to less than 50 percent, where it has remained to this day.
Haidt’s work on the dramatic rise in people’s screen time and internet use shows that the problems began in the mid-2000s, almost certainly making any quest for meaning cognitively harder. Notably, neuroscientists have found that the default-mode network—the set of brain regions that become active when we are mentally at rest—is crucial for finding high-level meaning, memory, future contemplation, and daydreaming. Other studies have demonstrated that this neuro-network exhibits disrupted or abnormal functioning during tasks that require external focused attention, which would surely include heavy internet usage.
One very obvious implication from all of this is that to seek meaning in life in order to lower symptoms of depression and anxiety, we should stop spending so many hours online. But that still leaves unresolved the issue for those who have forgotten how to find meaning—or never learned in the first place—of getting started. How do you search for meaning? Where should you look?
Reframing the problem is a helpful way to begin: Try putting yourself not in the position of the asker but of the asked. This was the technique proposed by the psychiatrist and psychotherapist Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor who wrote the influential Man’s Search for Meaning and created “logotherapy,” a clinical method based on identifying a personal sense of meaning. Frankl’s approach starts by inverting the original question: “Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked.” In other words, put aside your need to find a formula for your own gratification and instead see the world’s need for you to find meaning—so that you can do more with your life and benefit the world.
In that spirit of service, Frankl put forward three practical ways of discovering meaning. First, create something or accomplish a significant task—you will make meaning simply in the process of striving for an accomplishment. Second, experience something fully or love someone deeply, which is to say: Stop thinking about yourself and dive into an external experience or a relationship with another person. Third, adopt an attitude of strength and courage toward unavoidable suffering, and resolve to learn from your pain.
An alternative approach involves breaking down the quest for meaning into the components identified by Martela and Steger. Enquiring into coherence, purpose, and significance naturally elicits serious reflection on life and death—why your limited time on Earth matters and what you’re supposed to do with it. In my own work, I’ve found that this centers on trying to answer these two big questions: Why am I alive? And for what would I give my life? A sustained effort to find answers to those will reveal your life’s coherence, purpose, and significance.
Your search might also illuminate just why you feel so hollow. For example, if your best answer to the first question is “a sperm found an egg,” and to the second you say “nothing,” that could explain why life seems random and trivial to you. If you find yourself in that position, the right strategy might be to decide to live in a way that provides more existentially substantive answers. That, in turn, may well lead you to purposely adopt a set of beliefs to live by. You might, say, decide to live with the conviction that you have the gift of life in order to serve others, and you might also decide that a cause you would die for is your family’s safety and survival.
Of course, these issues are intensely personal and individual, which is why you’ll find no substitute for the deep introspective work you’ll need to do to arrive at your own right answers. And there’s no substitute for using screens and social media responsibly so that you can do that work. But as Frankl taught us, the work itself is an exciting, productive adventure.
One last point I’d make is that having meaning in life can protect you to a degree when suffering inevitably comes your way. A theme that emerges throughout Haidt’s work is a critique of “safetyism,” the belief that safety is a sacred value, and of the trend among parents and schools to elevate this value above others. Safetyism, in his analysis, is a direct consequence of a decline in people’s sense of life’s meaning, because meaning makes sense of suffering—so if you lack meaning to help you cope with suffering, then safetyism is the reflexive response, to try to provide a shield against suffering.
In other words, when pain has no seeming purpose, the only logical course of action is to fight against it. In a doomed effort to forestall suffering, we protect our kids from conflict, danger, and anything that might offend or alarm them. This strategy has proved catastrophic for happiness: It leaves young people ill-prepared for the inevitable threats and challenges that everyone has to face, and for the suffering that is impossible to avoid in our highly complex world. The only reliable way to travel through that world with courage and hope is to do the work to find meaning, and encourage those we love to do so as well.
Arthur Brooks is a contributing writer at The Atlantic and the host of the How to Build a Happy Life podcast.
My own comments:
An added observation that the author, Arthur Brooks alluded to, but didn’t come right out and say is this: I think that having the goal of safety causes anxiety. The emotion of anxiety is what our brains use to keep ourselves safe. Anxiety is the rational result of trying to avoid suffering.
It’s not that people in the past liked suffering more than we do. But suffering was more bearable when there seemed to be a reason for it. We need to have something bigger than ourselves that we are willing to suffer for, or else life diminishes to simple avoidance.
Both religion and politics used to play that role of providing meaning. I am loosely defining religion as the belief in something greater than ourselves, with the promise of an afterlife or additional lives, the outcome often dependent on how we lived this life. And I am loosely defining politics as the defense and promotion of one’s own group (home/family/tribe/race/ethic group/regional area/religious group/country).
Politics has failed – promoting one’s own group’s interests over others and their interests causes suffering. In small amounts it causes hurt and unfairness in society. In larger amounts it causes killing and war. As a society we are starting to understand that people aren’t good or bad. People are just people, all of us flawed. Sometimes we hurt each other selfishly and other times we hurt each other accidentally. Many times we hurt each other out of a fundamental ignorance that other people are also people.
Just as politics and war has failed to provide a source of meaning in our current society, the major world religions have failed to keep up with our growing scientific understanding of the physical reality within which we live. The reality of our existence and our universe is not what we thought it was, even when I was a kid. And that wasn’t all that long ago.
With both politics and religion failing to provide the answers we once thought they did, we are at a loss. It’s no wonder that those are the two topics we can’t discuss on Thanksgiving. Their failure to provide a universal source of meaning has been that recent.
Society doesn’t work the way we thought it did, and our own brain and our psyches do not work the way we thought they did either. We once assumed we could directly perceive reality. We now know we can’t. Even free will is being called into question – by both physics and psychology.
The very real, imaginary world of Disneyland in the 1970’s, back when I thought I could learn right from wrong, and real from imaginary.
Our kids and young adults are still trying to learn right from wrong, and real from imaginary. They do not know the details of what science has been teaching us these last few decades (and either do I) because it’s so difficult to understand. I’ve been trying to read some modern quantum physics, astronomy, and cosmology books written by scientists for non-scientists and it’s rough going. It’s very complicated stuff and often not at all in line with what our senses would have us imagine is true. It’s also often well beyond what I was taught in school in the ’70’s and ’80’s. It’s clear that a lot of our common assumptions about reality aren’t very accurate.
Because of the astounding advances in science in the last few decades, the gap between what scientists know and the rest of us think has been getting larger. And the disinformation on the internet is getting worse and weirder. And as AI gets more sophisticated, it becomes even harder to guess what is real and what isn’t.
Regardless of where our kids are getting their information, how much of it they understand, and how more or less accurate it is, as a society we are generally aware that our understanding of reality is changing. Therefore, even if our kids don’t know what is true, our kids do know that a lot of what we used to think is true, isn’t true.
If our kids are unable to swallow the ancient metaphor of Grandpa-in-the-Sky over a flat and stationary earth, with heaven above and hell below, infused with the social norms of a group of people in the Middle East over 2,000 years ago, we shouldn’t be surprised. And we should be prepared to help them find a working alternative. We have cut them adrift with nothing to hold onto. No alternative is not a viable alternative.
This photo is of Mark and I, taken by our grandparents, Al and Opal Balogh, in the mid-1970’s. I’m guessing that they told me to smile and wave – at that age I wasn’t socially aware enough to do so without instructions, lol. It’s such a perfectly timed shot, so difficult with those old cameras.
I owe a lot to my grandparents, and I never told them that. They were a huge, positive influence on me. It would be nice to imagine that they know that now. But we don’t know what they know. We don’t know if they still exist in some way. Maybe many Als and Opals exist in some way. We don’t fully understand time and we don’t fully understand existence. We are not even sure that we exist. We don’t know what we think we know, and we don’t know what we don’t know. We can only imagine.
As close as I can tell, our purpose here is to create – something. I don’t know what we’re here to create. I’m not sure if it matters what we create. Or if it does matter, it hardly matters because I’m not sure that we have a lot of choice in the matter. I think our purpose here is to figure out what we can create; individually and together.
I come from a Christian background, and lodged in my brain is a short, beautiful, and very optimistic line from First Corinthians that has always stayed with me, “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.“
I would not proclaim it as truth, but it is at least vague enough to approximately fit a variety of truths. And to the extent that you imagine it is true, it provides hope and reassurance against anxiety, and courage to create reality.
John had an excellent cloud-free view of Denali from the road on Sunday morning. It’s rare to see the mountain, because it’s usually covered in clouds. It’s also blocked from view from the main park, so many tourists never get to see it at all.
He felt quite lucky, as he continues to adjust his itinerary to be one day ahead of the coming rain. He had left the coastline just as the rain came, and the rain is expected inland soon.
Sunday morning John arrived early at the Denali visitor’s center and managed to snag the very last slot for Monday’s guided hike. This hike can only be signed up for in person, the day prior. The guide is a ranger, and it’s a rough hike, including off-trail and through streams. He was very excited to get the last opening available for this adventurous tour.
Then he went on a sightseeing tour of Denali from a small airplane.
Now that is an amazing photo!
After the plane ride was over he wrote, “I’m back from my Denali flight. The scenery was great, but it was oh so turbulent as the pilot banked…tight banking left and right…over the mountains.”
Of course I was like, OMG! And he replied, “Yes, we all held our cookies, but most commented that they were glad we were done. My next activity is to take the Denali bus to see what can be seen from the road.”
Even the bus sounds like too much for me. This is why he sometimes goes on trips without me. It’s better that way!
Here’s what he said about his bus tour, “The bus tour was good because we saw a grizzly bear, a couple of caribou (which I’ve not seen before), and some Dall Sheep.”
I won’t have pictures of the wildlife until he returns. The pictures I’ve been posting here so far are just snapshots from his phone that he has texted to me. The good pictures will be available after he gets home, from his main camera with zoom lenses.
Since I’ve been curious about his lodging, he sent this photo of his campsite Sunday night.
He says, “Here’s my campsite in Denali tonight. Everything in this photo, tent, chair, sleeping bag, sleeping mat, camp stove, cooking supplies, etc. is cheaper than one night hotel almost anywhere in Alaska. It’s shocking how cheap camping gear is relatively to almost all other travel expenses.”
He bought all that camping gear after arriving in Alaska. The campsite actually looks nice. I don’t mind camping. It’s just the cold and approaching rain that could become less than luxurious.
But hopefully the rain will hold off for his big, ranger-led hiking tour today. We are looking forward to hearing how that goes!
The brief reports and a few texted photos are indicating that all is well with John in Alaska! The first day he flew to Juneau and stayed at a hotel there. Here’s the view out his window.
Not great, but better than sleeping in his car. This was just a brief stop on his way to Anchorage.
He wrote, “I booked an all day kayak trip to Kenai Fjords for tomorrow. The skies are clear right now in Juneau so I think we have a weather window. I might try to go fishing Sunday or drive up to Denali. It depends on whether I can find a fishing charter.”
The next morning he flew to Anchorage, got a rental car, groceries, a sleeping bag, a tent from Walmart, and a camp chair from Fred Meyers. He’s all set!
He has been happily texting me about the amazing sights and his upcoming plans for kayaking and sightseeing.
But I have been fixated on his dubious sleeping arrangements. He assured me, “My car camping went fine. I just slept in the car last night, since that was easiest, but I set up the tent to make sure that was fine.”
And I said, “At a campground?” He replied, “I just boondocked off of a pull out on the road. At the end of the road is the trail to exit glacier.”
He said, “This is my sleeping arrangement inside the car.”
I questioned, “You set up the tent but slept in the car? Was it cold or wet or something?”
He explained, “I just set up the tent to make sure it was going to work. I just set it up behind the car, but it wasn’t super level. It looked like I would have to better night sleep in the car. I will use the tent, however, if I’m at a campground where it’s not practical to sleep on the car.”
Still baffled, I continued, “When wouldn’t it be practical?”
He told me more about his upcoming kayaking trip, but also patiently answered my question, “I wouldn’t sleep in the car if the car is in a parking lot with the tent area removed. There is an official camping area at the end of the road with exit glacier, and that is how that one was set up.”
Still unable to wrap my brain around the sleeping-in-the-car option, I said, “Do you have enough length to sleep flat on your back in the car or only on your side?”
First he again texted more details about his trip itinerary, debating the merits of further kayaking vs. Kenai fjords or heading for Denali. But eventually did admit that, “I can sleep extended because I have the diagonal. For two people it would be harder.”
I ignored his sightseeing plans and continued to doggedly pursue the logistics of where he would be sleeping. “What kind of car?”
“It’s a Chevy Blazer midsize SUV. The rear seats fold to make a flat floor. My feet just extend over the edge on the diagonal if I stretch out fully, but that is still comfortable.”
O-kaay. I’m glad I’m not on this trip. He is a stoic man. And a patient husband with all my detailed questioning about the part of the trip that just doesn’t concern him. He does not care where he sleeps. He’s there to fish and kayak and hike and see the glaciers and wildlife.
If, like John, you are more interested in John’s amazing sights of Alaska than the details of his sleeping arrangements, don’t worry. I expect him to return with hundreds of high quality photos of outdoor adventuring, and I will try to get the best of them posted. Meanwhile, here’s a couple that he’s texted me so far.
Kayaking out of Seward on an all-day kayaking trip in Kenai Fjords:
Ok, I admit, that is impressive.
Here’s the google map view of the area:
Last night, after his all-day kayaking trip, he drove 3.5 hours north to Nancy Lake State Recreation Area. I would have been soooo exhausted.
It’s crazy how light it still was at 10:20 at night.
I’m looking forward to hearing what he decides to do next.
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