Range Hood Installation

Did I tell you John finally had time to install the range hood? This is old news, in that he got it installed over a month ago, and I forgot to post these photos earlier. But also the hood sat in a box in the garage for several months. It was a lot of work for him to install so he had to wait until he had a long weekend, with good weather, without other more pressing priorities.

First step, after much measuring and planning, was to cut a hole in the ceiling.

Yep, there’s our 5 inches of flat wooden roof between ourselves and the sky. I’ve mentioned this crazy roof several times before, but I still can’t get over how many mid-century houses in Tucson were built this way.

After cutting the hole, he had to install the vent pipe and run an electrical outlet to it. Our electrical wires are in conduit on the roof (since there’s no crawl space for them!) Then it all needs sealed up there so it doesn’t leak in the rain.

Next came the supports for the ducting and the hood. The new electrical outlet is hidden underneath the range hood duct. It was a trick to get everything lined up, the hood plugged in, and the insulation added inside. In this next photo you can see it’s all staged and ready to be lifted, with the hood resting on some old boxes.

The chimney ductwork could be extended to various lengths. It was a challenge to decide how high or low to position the hood. We needed it to be close enough to the stove to be efficient at venting. We also wanted to be able to easily reach the controls, but still be able to see under it. There was initially an illusion that we would knock our heads against it when working at the stove, but that turned out to not be the case at all. It’s well out of the way.

We’re happy with the color. It looks black in the photos but it’s not. Black was too intense, and stainless steel was too shiny to go with the more muted colors in our kitchen. This is a dark stainless (I think it was called charcoal) that seems to work well with the stove.

I bought that range hood on a 50% off sale, sometime back in 2023, so by the time we got around to getting ready to install it, it was not returnable anymore. Good thing it worked out! The kitchen is finally done!

To send me a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Life Coaching for Neurodiverse Professionals

Flush it down

Emily sent me this picture. One of her little ones poured a whole bottle of bubble bath out in their upstairs bath and it reappeared in the basement toilet. At least her sewer lines are clean now.

They’re all coming to visit us in two and a half weeks. Whoo-hoo! Good thing we have our new, mega-flush toilet installed in the guest bathroom. I just looked for my earlier post about our new mega-flush toilet in order to link it in that last sentence, and I couldn’t find it. Instead I found a draft version, entitled, “That Shit is Going Down” that I had never published. So if you’ve seen an earlier version of this, sorry for the repeat, but I think this never got published…so here it is:

The first time one of our guests clogged our hall bathroom toilet we figured one of their small children must have flushed something that shouldn’t have been flushed. The second time (some months later) that a guest clogged the guest toilet, there were no children involved. Random chance or do we have a problem here? The third time a guest clogged that toilet I was like, omg, I’m failing as a hostess. I’m not even providing working indoor plumbing!

I mean, the only thing worse than standing in your bathroom willing that shit to go down (“go down, go down, go down – oh no, no, not over the top, nooooo!!!), the only thing worse, is standing in your friend or relative’s house praying that shit goes down. Nope! That was not going to happen to any of my guests ever again. 

We had a plumbing company snake a camera through the plumbing from the toilet all the way to the street. There was a little bit of root damage toward the street end of the line from that mesquite tree that we removed last year, but otherwise, the line was great. 

Apparently the culprit was the toilet itself. I did my research and discovered that the max gallons per flush allowed by Federal regulations is 1.6 gallons. Another common flush volume is 1.28, and some low flow toilets use a scant gallon. Obviously in the desert we really shouldn’t be wasting water, but I figure if we have to flush twice each time just to get the toilet paper down, we’re better off with a flow rate that gets the TP down in one flush. Plus, never again are my guests going to be caught watching in horror as it swirls and swirls and slowly rises to the surface. So drought or not, I’m going with the max flush rate.

I also learned something else about toilets. It’s not just flush rate that matters. The plumbing inside the toilet before it reaches the pipes in the wall is called the trapway. The new toilet I bought advertises a “CLOG-FREE FLUSH – Facilitated by the largest glazed trapway on the market at 2-3/8-in. wide.” That’s right, my new guest bathroom toilet has a really big hole!!

When John installed the new toilet, he discovered the issue (and I think this is the part I had previously mentioned in an earlier blog post). The old toilet was fine, but our contractor had installed it with the wide seal ring slid halfway across the drain opening, blocking half the opening at the hight of the floor. John went ahead and (properly) installed the new toilet anyway, even though we now knew that the old one had been fine, just installed wrong.

So come on out and visit me, knowing that you can flush with confidence. But maybe I’ll set the bubble bath up out of reach 😉

To send me a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Life Coaching for Neurodiverse Professionals

The remodel – slowly working on the little things

Sometimes it’s the little things that make all the difference. In our family room we had some old skylights in a large white frame, cut into the dark wood ceiling. I’ve always hated the clunky stark white framing around the skylights, which was very obvious against the old, dark wood.

Our original plan (which is probably still our long term plan) is to replace that white frame with wood slats to match the rest of the ceiling. But contractors don’t like bidding on unusual projects because they invariably take longer than expected, and John hasn’t had the time to do it himself. So we decided for now to just paint it dark brown to blend with the ceiling.

Meanwhile, the door going from this room into the garage was a harsh white. It was designed to be painted, and we just hadn’t gotten around to it yet. For months. (We had painted the wall around it, just not the door itself.) Why not? We didn’t have the paint, didn’t know what color to paint it…there were just a few too many little obstacles and we just hadn’t gotten around to it. If this door had been the only thing on our to-do list, no problem. One Saturday and we’re done. But we have hundreds of these kinds of little things to do in this house. How many years is 100 Saturdays?

Finally on a recent Friday night we stopped by Lowes, and I spent approximately one minute choosing a color that I thought would blend with the wood ceiling as well as complement the reddish brown tones of the floor, brick walls, and other red-brown items in that room.

In the past when I’ve needed to choose a paint color I’ve brought home dozens of paint color cards, which I’ve taped up around the house and contemplated for days on end. But we’re getting to be old hands at this, and weary of the whole thing. This time I picked a color without a moment’s deliberation and we bought a gallon on the spot. No messing around with sample-sized containers and coming back for more later, nope, not for us. Mix a whole gallon up now and we’re out of here.

The next day, John painted the door. Isn’t he cute? Lol. I love a man in a painting suit!

It looked a little purplish going on when it was wet, but it dried a nice rich brown. We used the same color as the door on the frame around the skylights.

We painted the interior of the shafts the same off-white beige tone as the room walls. You can’t see the color of the shafts in the previous picture because it’s washed out by the light from the skylights.

For this next picture I set the exposure as low as I could, so you can actually see the inside of the shafts. Taking pictures of skylights is not easy I’ve discovered!

Having that big frame brown instead of white is a definite improvement. And I am amazed how much difference the painted door makes!

Next on the list – a small tile project. Stay tuned!

To send me a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Life Coaching for Neurodiverse Professionals

The bathroom remodel did get done

It’s all done except for pictures on the wall! We want to buy a picture by a local artist for behind the toilet. Maybe we’ll do that as our Christmas gift to each other this year.

When I last mentioned the bathroom remodel, we were having trouble with the pencil tile, (the edging tile on the wall). I left off saying, “We’ll find out next week!”. That was towards the end of September and it is now December. So you didn’t find out the next week. But rest assured, the pencil tile issue was solved – by me going to several tile stores until I could find something vaguely off-white, at a store with enough in stock right there on hand, no hopes or promises, just me walking out the door with the tile in my cart and the receipt fluttering in the breeze.

Various other issues too tedious to mention also happened. Like they installed the toilet crooked, and the contractor had a little grumpy-fit when we asked him to fix it, and then he charged us $200 extra to fix it, when he should have done right to start with. Remodels are maddening.

Here’s a photo of it mid-process.

This is the elusive floor tile grout. The company abruptly discontinued our color after we had used it for most of the house. I had to pay twice the regular price to get it from Amazon because it was suddenly no longer available in the local tile or hardware stores.

Looking better. The tile guy, Oscar, was good. After the project was over, we tried to hire Oscar directly for other tile work elsewhere, but he only works for the contractor, whom we don’t plan to hire again.

In this picture you can see that we accidentally mixed in some floor tile from the wrong dye lot. And we had so carefully bought our tile all at once to avoid that issue! John thinks the mistake occurred when our first contractor had two jobs with the same floor tile and he was using ours for them and theirs for ours. Very annoying, but we don’t notice with the throw rugs down.

Construction is so dusty. Here’s my bedroom floor AFTER they supposedly cleaned. Plus they had a plastic dust curtain up, but a lot of good that did.

This next picture is the interior of the built-in linen closet that we had made by our friends in Taos, Blanca and Gonzalos, who own Antiqua Home Furnishing. They build furniture, and will do custom work for reasonable prices. https://antiguahomefurnishings.com/

Here’s the exterior. It matches our bedroom furniture, which they made for us five or more years ago when we lived in Placitas, NM.

The bathroom door isn’t stained yet. The contractor doesn’t offer door staining as part of his services. So we have to find someone else to do it.

Overall, it’s a huge improvement and has a much more open feel. Here’s the “before” picture from the real estate listing when we bought the house in 2020:

Here’s how it looks now. Ta-da!

To send me a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Life Coaching for Neurodiverse Professionals

Not been writing much lately

I know I haven’t been writing much, and I’m not sure why. I have enough time to write – in between all the stuff going on. And I have things to write about. Sometimes I even write to you in my head; bits of this story or that story.

I think the problem is the noise of our bathroom remodel. As I write this, my mind is being continually disrupted by the sound of a saw cutting tile. It runs for a bit and turns off for a bit. It’s random, and it’s all day long. There are other scraping, banging noises, but for the last couple of weeks it’s been mostly a tile saw. Before that it was other kinds of saws, and drywall guns and all kinds of random loud things.

Also whenever I try to get into an activity, it seems like I get interrupted. The workers don’t actually need me to answer questions very often. Only a few times a day. But inevitably they are looking for me when I’m in the shower, or trying to exercise, or trying to make a phone call, or trying to write. And sometimes their questions lead to panicked attempts to find out-of-stock edging tile, or a grout color that was suddenly discontinued halfway through our project. These unexpected mini-disasters can often take most of the rest of my day.

Eventually I found myself avoiding activities that I didn’t want interrupted. I didn’t realize I was doing this, but looking back, I think I have been. I’ve been doing lots of buying things on Amazon, but not a lot of anything that takes much thought.

I also seem to be gaining weight. I tend to gain weight when I’m bored or when I’m having trouble concentrating. Then I’ll lose weight when I have too much going on, because I don’t make time to eat. But lately I have had plenty of time, just no attention span!

Here, have a random Happy Autumn picture:

I’ll write more soon.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

The master bathroom remodel

The handsome and cheerful Oscar-the-tile-guy said he and Enrique would be back at 7:00 this morning, but it was the kindly, bumbling Todd who came knocking at 6:30, wanting into my dining room to access the electrical outlet on the opposite side of the wall he was working on. Luckily, the screech of drywall being cut with a power saw had already gotten me out of bed. I had barely managed to get dressed and had not yet stumbled into my kitchen for my coffee.

The fact that I have to get dressed before I get my coffee is only the first of many challenges in the mornings nowadays. Discovering guys unexpectedly crawling around underneath my dining room table this morning was better than our emergency all-hands meeting at 6:00 yesterday morning when the countertop didn’t fit.

Yes, we are remodeling again. After taking a break, we have hired a large company to remodel the master bathroom. We didn’t give this job to Neil because he doesn’t have a large in-house crew. He has to schedule independent tradesmen for everything and is dependent on their schedules. Plus, Neil just isn’t all that organized. So everything takes longer.

Our new guy, BJ, doesn’t do any of the work himself, and either does his right-hand-man, Kevin. Instead, their tradesmen arrive early each morning, usually one or two at a time, but sometimes up to four guys crammed in that bathroom.

I’m really glad it’s getting done rapidly, but it is very stressful. The faster a project goes, the faster the problems come flying at John and I. And there are always problems, particularly in a house this old.

They initially installed the plumbing for the shower on the wrong wall and then tried to convince me it was better that way. No. Do it the way the plans show, please.

Luckily we caught it before the drywall was installed. The controls are on the right, reachable prior to going into the shower. Otherwise, we’d be unable to dodge the initial blast of cold water.

We wanted the the shower head is on the short wall, because it’s a very small shower and it was too cramped when the shower head was on the wall where the controls are. I would back up and hit my head on the wall every time I tried to wash my hair. It’s like I never learned! Retrofitting old bathrooms is definitely a design challenge.

I think that pink stuff might be some sort of water barrier. It’s quite an impressive color.

This orientation is still not ideal, because we will have shower spray in the direction of the toilet. But if it’s too bad, we can add glass to the top of the pony wall. The toilet is going back in place where it was originally, which is where that bucket is sitting. We’re keeping the same toilet, but we’re installing an electrical outlet for a washlet.

Hopefully they don’t get confused and install the new toilet I just bought for the hall bathroom (more on that later). It’s still in the box sitting in the garage next to the other building materials. Maybe we should hide it somewhere until John gets a chance to install it. The hall bath is already done, so John’s just going to install it himself.

Speaking of more work for John, one morning our irrigation mysteriously sprung a large leak right next to where Todd and Brandon were doing cutting and other staging work in the backyard.

I didn’t make any accusations – these things happen. What annoyed me wasn’t the break, it was the guys trying to pretend they didn’t do it, even though I had never even insinuated that they had. Todd kept saying it was always like that – he had seen it leaking for the whole time. Seriously guys, if you actually saw water streaming from a break in our irrigation line continuously for the past week and a half, don’t you think you should have mentioned it? In my opinion, that’s more egregious than having accidentally whacked the irrigation line.

Anyway, one more thing for John to fix.

One morning the excitement for the day was all about the wrong paint color:

At least they checked the match before painting everything that dingy dark greenish-brown. Then I had to listen to lots of chatter about who’s fault it was or wasn’t that they bought a gallon of the wrong paint. It doesn’t matter! It’s just a gallon of paint! Go back and get the right color, duh.

Then we had a false alarm when it looked like the guys were tossing out critical parts to our very expensive solartube:

But no, according to our contractor, they were just using that garbage can as a table, and our delicate solatube lens was perfectly safe and sound and not scratched (never mind the fact that that the lens was piled on top of drywall scraps and plastic packaging, under a discarded empty plastic bottle, a roll of orange tape, and a sharp metal wall grate). Grrr, can you be a little bit more careful?

I don’t even know why they had to take the lens off, maybe to protect it? Buy putting it in the garbage can? We’re not nearly ready to paint yet.

Then the pony walls were installed at the wrong height, with the outlets in the wrong places. They had already cut the wire short, so we had no slack in the wire left to move the outlets back to the end of the wall, where they had been originally, and where they were still supposed to be. Now we have an extra junction box on the wall, because by code you can’t splice wires without adding a junction box at the splice. The box will be hidden behind a dresser, but still, there will be a cover plate in the wall tile forever now, due to their goof.

Instead of buying a standard cabinet, we had our friend Gonzalo, in Taos, make a beautiful cabinet front piece that matches our bedroom furniture.

But it’s only the front piece – just the cabinet doors. We didn’t have Gonzolo build the whole cabinet box that goes under the sinks, because that part doesn’t show. We asked our contractor to build a cabinet box with cabinet-grade finished plywood to go behind the front piece.

But when John came home that night, he discovered they were just using 2×4’s on the sides, no finished cabinet walls, and they had used a crappy piece of regular plywood for the bottom. He quickly ran to Home Depot late at night to get finished cabinet-grade plywood.

Building the cabinet box is a simple task, but a bit unusual, and poor Todd was in over his head. John realized that and drew a schematic for him.

It’s often on John and I to notice the detail problems because the guys are just doing what they think they’re supposed to be doing. They’re working away, thinking everything is fine and don’t even know there’s a problem.

Until the countertop didn’t fit, and then everyone knew there was a problem. Even BJ came out for that one.

John’s drawing was correct, but Todd had installed the interior front crosspiece flat rather than on end, which didn’t allow for enough room for the sinks behind it. It was also installed too far back, resulting in the cabinet doors also being installed too far back. The resulting cabinet was not deep enough.

But most concerning was that the space between the side walls was no longer wide enough for the full length of the countertop. The countertop literally would not go into the space.

The countertop had originally fit. It was installed back when the kitchen countertop and hall bath countertop was installed; all cut from the same batch of quartzite slabs. Here it is, being installed in January. We set it on the old cabinet without gluing it down, because we knew we’d be lifting it to put a new cabinet under it later.

It lifted out fine, but now the opening between the side walls was too small to get it back in. At that point I nearly panicked because I didn’t want them to break the countertop trying to wedge it in there. Our contract specifically called out that they were not responsible if they broke our countertop because it was a prior installation and not their responsibility. The countertop is the most expensive thing in that bathroom and was my top priority – but not theirs. They were disinclined to spend days rebuilding everything just because the countertop was now 1/4 inch too long.

I was frantically trying to reach John, who is nearly impossible to reach at work. He does not have a desk phone and is not allowed to have cell phones in the limited area. He checks his texts once a day at lunchtime, and his email when he can. At first I was trying to be diplomatic about it. I wrote, “There’s been a lot of remodel issues today and I think we need to reevaluate you only being reachable once per day”. Fifteen minutes later I was getting more desperate and wrote, “We’ve got some issues and you are going to need to be here when the countertop is installed, you’re going to need to take time off…”

The countertop should have fit because the plans did not call for any alterations of the location of the side walls. But in the process of moving the showerhead to the other wall and rerouting the electrical to clear the new, standard height cabinet, they had stripped the walls down to the 2×4’s.

Except the the wall on the right, which turned out to be lath and plaster.

By the way, if you’re not familiar with lath and plaster, it’s an old fashioned way to make walls. The lath is perforated metal sheeting (imagine super-strong thick chicken wire), which is used to hold the plaster, which is a cement-like substance, that used to be used to build walls instead of the more modern sheets of drywall. It’s very difficult to cut or remove.

It’s unusual to have lath and plaster in a house built in the mid-1960’s. It was mostly discontinued in the 1950’s. Only a few of our walls have it, which makes me wonder if the 1964 build was possibly done around a smaller original structure built at an earlier, unknown date.

Anyway, the problem at the moment was the countertop didn’t fit. When the the new drywall was installed and textured on the left wall between the sinks and the shower, somehow the wall turned out to be a bit wider than it had been. The space for the countertop was now 1/4 inch too narrow. In exasperation, Todd wondered aloud if I could just get a granite guy to “shave half an inch off” the edge of our countertop! Uh – no!

Suggesting we shave off the side of our countertop to make it fit is the sort of joke BJ would make, just goofing around, but Todd sounded serious there for a moment. He was understandably desperate to not have to rebuild everything. We suspect that BJ takes it out of their pay when they make a mistake, because they are surprisingly reluctant to take responsibility for anything – even the minor issue of a gallon of paint the wrong shade. But in this case, Todd was beside himself apologizing over and over, saying he had made a major mistake and really messed it up. He was quite upset.

I figured so long as the countertop wasn’t broken, we could work through it. My next goal was to protect my precious countertop from any fallout.

After finally getting my increasingly alarming text messages, John came home to assess the issue. He instructed them to cut notches out of the incorrectly-placed interior crossbar to make room for the sinks, and cut grooves into the wall to make room for the countertop.

In the end, we lost about half an inch of countertop behind the sinks where it jutts into the back wall, and another half inch to the left of the sinks where it juts into the left side wall. But once the tile is in, you’ll never know there’s countertop buried in the walls. Also the countertop hangs over the cabinets a bit more than it should, but it’s not noticeable.

Here you can see how far they had to cut into the wall to fit the countertop in.

They did not try to cut into the lath and plaster wall on the right, which means the sinks were shifted left slightly and are no longer quite exactly centered. I don’t think it will be too noticeable.

Then yesterday morning’s issue was pencil tile.

We thought we had picked out an off-white pencil tile for the trim work around the wall tile, but when I got to Floor and Decor to pick it up, it was clearly gray.

Gray was not going to work. The cabinet is honey oak with reddish willow branch trim and the the accent tile pieces are bronze. We went with cool blue-greens in the hall bath, but this bathroom is being done in warm tones.

Did I get the code mixed up with the gray pencil tile we used for our hall bathroom? Or did it look off-white when we picked it out and now it looks gray all piled up like that? Who knows, but it was clearly gray and I needed to choose a new color – immediately! The tiling has already started!

Here’s the new pencil tile I choose, on the left. It matches the color of the base of the tile rather than the raised pattern. The new tile has a slightly different curve, so I had to clear it with Oscar to make sure it would still work. He said it would actually be easier.

But with the last minute switch, Floor and Decor didn’t have enough in stock. It’s coming, they say, hopefully on Monday. Maybe? Meanwhile we’ve got two tile guys who already started installing the tile yesterday (Thursday). What happens if the pencil tile is late?

We’ll find out next week!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Worth the Wait (maybe)

Drum roll…dun-da-da-dunt-da…the kitchen remodel is done! (Mostly)

OMG finally.

Here’s our “Before” photos, dated August, 2021.

Here we are, playing with computer-generated layout options in May of 2022. Yeah, over a year ago.

Here’s the photo of Utah that I saved on my phone to use as reference for the colors I wanted, as we embarked on the long process of choosing materials. June 2022.

Here’s the kitchen design I drew for our contractor, also June 2022.

By July of 2022 we had identified our flooring and our cabinets, but not the countertop or backsplash yet. Note how well they match my photo of the Utah desert!

Demolition started in August of 2022. That is one dang ugly picture!

We bought our countertop slabs sight-unseen from just an internet picture while vacationing in Seattle. August, 2022.

We saw the countertop in person for the first time in September, at the slab yard in Phoenix after getting home from Seattle. Wow, what a good match. Both the cabinets and the countertop have a subtle sage-green tint, and the terracotta floor tiles bring out the rusty veining in the quartzite.

The floor was in by the end of September.

The cabinets were onsite by early October. Most of them, anyway.

The kitchen was usable by November, although we just had boards set on top of the cabinets in-leu of countertop.

And the gas stove wasn’t connected. We did not host Thanksgiving that year!

By December we had a working stove.

In January of 2023, we finally got our countertop installed.

Inspired by the little bit of exposed brick over the window, I asked if we could use brick for a backsplash. That innocent question (or crazy idea, however you want to look at it) ended up delaying the project by months, but we don’t regret it.

Meanwhile, the hall bath was partially demolished in September

and further torn out in November,

And December

And was finally done in February of this year.

The kitchen brick backsplash didn’t get off to a very fast start. Our contractor had to figure out his technique. He ended up slicing the ends off of large burnt adobe bricks, because they would be far too thick otherwise. He used the ends and threw away the middle. The middle of the brick wasn’t natural looking because it had been cut.

A long time passed. By March, I was used to the kitchen without a backsplash.

My contractor had other projects. And a big overseas vacation to Italy. And more projects. Just as I was about to decide he was never coming back, he’d pop in for a couple of hours. Every week or two or three.

Suddenly, in May, I had the beginnings of brick backsplash. Now I was committed. Now I couldn’t just hire some random tile guy to put in something common and in stock at Floor and Decor and be done with it. We were indeed doing this experimental adobe brick thing.

More time passed. My sister and I traded pictures of our kitchens in progress. She has a very different style of house, in a very different part of the country, and is going with brighter, lighter colors.

My sister chose a clean, cheerful backsplash for her new kitchen.

Her kitchen is such a contrast to mine, it’s jarring to see the pretty pictures of her kitchen remodel right above this next photo of my thick orange brick and drippy thinset, ugh. Is this crazy project of ours even going to work?

At the end of May it was time to choose a grout color for our unconventional backsplash project, but nothing seemed quite right.

Our contractor tried several options. He would come by for a few minutes, put something in a groove, and leave. He would come back a few days later after it dried to see how it looked. He wasn’t happy with the results and we weren’t either. It was maddening.

He decided to mix some custom options himself. He added sand to give it a rougher, more authentic look. He created a mock-up board so we could see them all.

You can see the little purple tab stuck to the option I chose.

Here it is at the end of June, before the grout was in.

And here is what it looked like with the grout in, but still wet and unsealed.

Another week goes by. Finally it’s time to seal it. Here it is, done, today, July 6, 2023. Done!

What a labor of love! We’re calling the kitchen done, although we don’t have a range hood or a disposal yet. Minor details.

We’re done with the kitchen for now at least! We are not, however, done with the remodel. We have a variety of detail projects throughout the house left to do, as well as a significant amount of work we plan to do outside (roof, garden walls, shed, pergolas, solar panels, etc.). And the master bathroom remodel! Can’t forget that. That is scheduled for this fall. Stay tuned!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

Mini Vacation in Phoenix

I recently told you about a new anti-anxiety medicine that I was hoping would help me enjoy traveling more. The first time I took it, it seemed to help. On my way to California in April, my flight was delayed and then cancelled, and I couldn’t get out that night. I took it all in stride, and I credited the medicine for that.

But on my subsequent flights – my flight out to California the next day, and on the way home from California, and on my way out to Ann Arbor, the medicine didn’t seem to work as well. Instead of making me calm, it seemed to just make me stupid. I don’t want to be stupid. I am already stupid enough!

I particularly didn’t want to be stupid after my flight from Ann Arbor to Phoenix because it was a late evening flight. It would be dark by the time I arrived. I’d have to figure out how to get on the correct shuttle to get to my car and I’m not familiar with the Phoenix airport yet, or the parking situation. My car was somewhere near the airport…I had a claim ticket…actually I had completely forgotten that I had a claim ticket tucked away somewhere, but I figured my app would tell me what to do.

And then I had to navigate on freeways in the dark to an Airbnb where I’ve never been, and figure out which place was mine and which door was mine and hope the keypad code works. And my hosts would not have been still awake to help me.

So I decided I needed my brain to be working more than I needed anti-anxiety meds coursing through my system. I didn’t take any meds on the flight back and I was ok. I don’t think I was any more anxious than I when I took the meds.

It got me thinking – I don’t think my problem is anxiety. I think it’s some sort of sensory overwhelm that’s different than anxiety. That’s probably why every anxiety medication I’ve ever taken has not worked.

Actually, my anxiety medicine did work when I had reason to be anxious – when my flight was so delayed that I was not going to my connecting flight to California. But the med didn’t help when everything was going smoothly. I was still miserable during the trips – but it wasn’t anxiety making me miserable. It was something else.

The closest I can describe it is sensory overwhelm. Everything is too loud and visually complicated and everyone is moving and the plane is moving. It’s just too much going on. But it’s not causing anxiety exactly, it’s causing confusion, which is different than anxiety. Although confusion can cause anxiety and frustration.

Anyway, I just took my time and tried to keep my head on straight. We landed, I found my luggage, I found where I needed to catch the shuttle, talked to a shuttle driver to figure out which shuttle I needed, talked to another shuttle driver to figure out which location I needed (the parking company has two or three near-airport locations, with different shuttles serving each one). I found my car, found the directions to my airbnb, managed to navigate in the dark on the freeway through construction (my poor eyesight doesn’t help me any).

I got to the address, dragged my suitcases through a patio gate (now remember, it was pitch dark at the time, not this bright happy sunshine of the next day)

…and discovered not one, but TWO doors, both of which looked exactly like the one in the internet picture I had memorized. Which door was mine? And for that matter, why am I standing alone at midnight in this total stranger’s yard?

It’s all quite cheerful in these pictures I took the next morning, but at the time it was dark, I was exhausted, and there’s always that lingering concern that if you’re trying to get in at midnight and you pick the wrong door, someone might decide to shoot you!

I went ahead and tried my code on the right-hand door, and it worked. Whew! I made it!

Turns out in the daylight it’s quite easy to tell which is the main house and which is the guesthouse. The guesthouse is the cute little square unit on the right, attached to the main house by a breezeway. But it was not obvious at night.

The next morning I was completely delighted to be there.

There was a park and a walking trail at the end of the cul-de-sac two houses down. I got up, walked outside, and it smelled like the desert, and it felt like the desert and I felt instantly at home.

I walked down to the fountain and was greeted by a man walking his dogs, who identified himself as my host, Phil. He must have seen me exiting the gate and standing in his driveway, holding my sunglasses aloft while I tried to decide whether they were dirty enough to warrant heading back inside to clean them, or if they were good enough. I judged them good enough.

“Why are you here?”, Phil asked. That wasn’t actually the first question he asked when he and his three overfed fluffy dogs spotted me walking toward the park. Phil’s first question was why my car had a New Mexico license plate when my Airbnb profile says I’m from Tucson? Well…yeah. About that. My husband hasn’t got around to registering our cars in Arizona yet. Lol.

I didn’t say that. I just told him we’re still getting moved. What I didn’t mention was that we’ve been moving to Tucson for over two years now, but we’ve been New Mexico residents until this month. The nuanced truth just gets too complicated for a brief sidewalk greeting. I’ll be so glad when we’re finally done with all this complicated not knowing where I live, and I have easy answers for friendly neighbors.

So why was I there? Partly because my plane arrived late at night and I didn’t want to drive 2 hours home in the middle of the night. I don’t see well in the dark, and I get tired easily. Plus, I thought it would be nice to decompress after my trip to Ann Arbor. Also I wanted to do errands in Phoenix.

I have been thinking of buying an exercise machine but neither of the brands that I was primarily interested in are available in Tucson. I could order them, but I wanted to try them first before deciding which to get. So one of my main goals was to visit a couple of fitness showrooms and try out some options.

After my walk, I started on my big-city errands. In addition to wanting to try out exercise machines, I also wanted to look for tile samples with a Southwest or Mexican feel. Visiting tile stores took me all over the city – and Phoenix is huge and sprawling.

You haven’t heard much about our remodel recently, but yes, we’re still slowly plugging away. Very slowly. Right now some smaller projects are slowly being done. Did I mention how slowly the projects are going? Neil drops by occasionally, but most of the time he is on vacation or working elsewhere. Slowly.

Later this summer I want to remodel the master bathroom. That will be a very disruptive job, so I hope to hire a bigger firm in order to get it done in a shorter length of time. There’s usually a several-month wait before a big firm can get to your job, but once they start, they’re better at getting it done in one big crush of activity. I do not want my master bathroom being remodeled in little bits at a time every few weeks.

Anyway, tile samples:

Haha, no, this was a bit much. It reminds me of a clown.

I ended up buying a few copper colored tiles for the master bathroom. The white tile behind it will be the primary tile, with copper accents to add interest. We did the hall bathroom in white with dark blue accents, and the master bathroom will be white with copper accents. (Note to self – we need to pick out new edging, the off-white that looked good in the hall bathroom will look too gray here.) There is always something.

I also ordered the tile in this next photo for our fireplace hearth and for accenting on our patio. The reddish-brown tile underneath is our floor tile, and our hearth will be the plain orangish-brown one on the left, accented with an occasional flower tile.

After I got done with my errands I sat out on the courtyard with my computer. I love courtyards, even in the intense Phoenix heat.

Some of the neighbor’s names for their internet accounts were amusing.

Speaking of remodels, I couldn’t help but think about how my hosts had remodeled their guesthouse. Phil told me that it was originally a studio with no kitchen. It had the main room plus the bathroom and a closet. Phil and his wife, Peggy, converted the closet into a kitchenette by adding a window and a sink, mini-fridge and microwave. I had guessed as much because there was a door to the kitchen with a mirror on the back of it, lol. It pretty clearly used to be a closet.

Their solution worked ok, but I would have taken that couple of feet of wall out; the doorway and that little bit of wall to the right of the doorway. That would open up the kitchen space which would then have enabled the kitchen to continue around the corner to where they have a clothes rack. Then they could have had the kitchen on two walls in an “L” shape and have twice as much (or more) kitchen space. There still would have been enough room for a small closet under the TV where this desk is:

And the desk could have gone between these two chairs instead of the little useless end tables:

If they had run the kitchen around the corner, they would have had room to include a full sized sink, modest refrigerator, stovetop and a dishwasher. The kitchen doesn’t need to be behind a door and a wall.

It wouldn’t have been very much more work and they could have doubled the size of their kitchen. The floor tile would need to be patched where the wall was. If they couldn’t find an exact match, they could do a decorative span across the threshold. That is a very common technique for visual delineation even if you have matching tile.

It’s possible they might have needed to do a little bit of drywall patching – but probably not, if they put cabinets and backsplash across the 4 inches where the unnecessary wall had joined the main wall. It would not have been very much harder, and it would have looked so much better and had been so much more useful than having shoved a tiny bit of kitchen into a closet.

See, I am incorrigible. Always thinking about remodels.

Anyway it was a cute little place. They allow dogs too. Maybe John and I will go back together someday. Phoenix is our nearest big city and there’s lots to do there!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

Congratulations, John!

John is retiring from Sandia after 29 years, and will be starting a new position with Raytheon in Tucson!!!! It was a hard decision because he has a lot of respect for Sandia and they have a lot of respect for him. He had an excellent career with Sandia. Raytheon is an unknown; it’s exciting, it’s scary, it’s risky. But we have decided we want to settle here, connect with the Tucson community, and start this new phase of our lives.

If you’ve wondered why I haven’t been posting much recently, that’s the main reason. I’ve been less able to speak my mind than normal, because John wanted to be able to tell his management before the news hit a public blog. And he wanted to wait to tell them until the offer was official. This new job has been in the works for some months now and it took forever for it to be finalized! It’s been difficult to find anything to say that didn’t allude to the probable (and now finally official) new job.

Meanwhile, we’ve been spending a lot time trying to figure out logistics. We’ve been strategizing everything from my own career, to what to do with the houses. Our primary home is in Albuquerque, as are our two rentals. We’ve decided for sure to sell our own home, and we might sell one of the rentals this summer too.

Moving benefits, real estate agents, storage units, potential medical insurance gaps, mail forwarding, new driver’s licenses…it’s a lot to juggle. In Arizona you’re supposed to get your new driver’s license immediately. The time requirement is something ridiculous, like a week after you move here. But when am I moving to Arizona? Now? Two years ago? When the moving van comes later in April? When John starts his new job in early May? When our primary residence in Albuquerque sells? Who knows and whatever. We’ve just got so much un-fun stuff to do.

But wow, we’re going to finally actually live here! Together! Yay!

Here we are, celebrating over ramen:

Here we are on a recent hike, which we mostly spent in heavy discussion about all the big moving-related issues.

We’ve seen very little of each other this winter and spring, and have been having difficulty finding time to have fun AND do the talking needed to make all the big decisions.

We’re looking forward to getting through this move and having more relaxing time on the weekends together.

Woof, Woof! There’s something up there!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

Too much (and not enough) stuff

There’s a lot of heavy concerns going on in the world right now, so to distract you from all that, here is a lighthearted peek into the minutiae of my life. Specifically, the many, many, too many items of minutiae in my life. I’m not a hoarder, really. Nor did I stockpile during the pandemic. But I still have far too many duplicates of things. See, it goes like this:

Imagine I have a bottle of shampoo in both houses, one in Tucson, and one in Albuquerque. Ok, that’s fine so far. Now imagine that I’m in Tucson, and I notice that my shampoo bottle is getting close to empty. Not wanting to be caught entirely without shampoo, I buy a second bottle. All good so far.

Then we go to Albuquerque. While in Albuquerque I notice that my bottle of shampoo there is also getting low. So I buy a second bottle. Now I’ve got 4 bottles of shampoo, but two of them are nearly empty. It doesn’t seem like an unreasonable amount. Not yet.

Then once I’m back in Tucson, I notice that my shampoo bottle (the original one) has, at most, one more day’s left. I realize I need to buy a new bottle. My brain chimes in and reminds me that I’ve already bought a new bottle. Yeah, I argue, but that was in Albuquerque. My stuff in Tucson keeps getting boxed up as the house is being remodeled, so it’s actually impossible to tell. There could be a bottle of shampoo in a box in the garage somewhere. Who knows? So I buy a bottle of shampoo.

Now there’s 5 bottles. Actually, soon we’re back down to 4 because I really did finally use up the nearly-empty first bottle in Tucson. Whew.

Next trip, John goes to Albuquerque without me. Every trip we bring more stuff to Tucson. I’ve been wanting my fine collection of shoe polishes, which I haven’t used since the pandemic started, so I ask him to please bring the bin of supplies from under the master bathroom sink, which contains my shoe polish.

When John gets back to Tucson, I unpack my bin of supplies that he brought (Yay, shoe polish, finally), and I discover an extra bottle of shampoo. At this point it dawns on me that I probably need to stop buying shampoo.

Then I head back to Albuquerque with John. While in Albuquerque, I run out of shampoo. I remember that I told myself to quit buying shampoo, but since my spare bottle accidentally went to Tucson with the shoe polish, I now have no shampoo in Albuquerque. So I reluctantly buy a bottle. There are now at least 3 full bottles of shampoo in Tucson and one full bottle in Albuquerque. Or maybe there’s 4 in Tucson, who knows at this point.

Then imagine that I go on a short trip involving a brief hotel stay. It’s a nice hotel but on the first morning I discover that I hate the hotel shampoo. I’d like to buy a bottle of what I prefer and just bring the remainder home with me. But never mind, I’ll just use the stinky hotel shampoo. Because I’m not buying any more shampoo ever again!

And that’s just shampoo. Don’t even get me started on coffee!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism