A Subaru for Callan and Guen

Did I tell you that we gave Callan and Guen my old Mini Cooper? And did I tell you that the engine blew out a month later? We knew it was old, but we didn’t expect that!

They drove the Mini Cooper home after our camping trip in early November and it seemed to be fine. But barely over a month later, on a trip back to Boise from visiting Guen’s family in Twin Falls, it died on the freeway. They towed it in and the next day we had the sad diagnosis. It needed a new engine. It was a 2007 with a lot of miles and the car just wasn’t worth it. What a disappointment for everyone!

John had a little bit of time between Christmas and New Years before he had to go back to work, so we started looking for a new (used) car for them, this time newer and more reliable. The kids wanted an all-wheel drive or 4 wheel drive for traction in the Boise snow (which the Mini definitely did not have).

They were mixed on the size; Guen wanted something tall enough to easily see out of and big enough for her friends and their kids. Callan wanted something small enough to easily maneuver. And we all wanted something reliable! On our second day of hunting, we found what we were looking for.

Here’s John checking it out.

It’s a Subaru Crosstrek.

It’s a 2018, which is a little on the older side, but it only has 30,000 miles on it and it looked to be in great shape.

I like the orange stitching.

It has heated front seats, back-up camera, bluetooth and all the good stuff. But most importantly, all wheel drive.

The hatchback trunk is not huge, but it’s bigger than the Mini Cooper.

A car for Christmas? It’s actually their early wedding gift. We had expected the Mini Cooper to at least last until their wedding in October! Hopefully this one will last for a long time.

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Your Holiday Photos

Laura made progressively hotter hot wings for her friends, based on a show called Hot Ones.

Tracey made melted snowmen cookies, very cute and fun!

Dana had two of her grandsons for a whole week, just her and Chris, without the kid’s parents, to give the parents a break. What good grandmas! And cute kids; it looks very fun and festive.

Here is Callan and Guen’s Christmas tree:

They went to see Guen’s family in Twin Falls. Here’s Guen’s sister’s Christmas tree.

Doesn’t this cup of hot cocoa look good? It’s an excellent photo and looks like something out of a movie or an advertisement.

Great photo of Callan and Guen at Callan’s workplace holiday party:

Laura and her friends went to a light show in San Jose. They are, from left to right, Laura’s friend Emily, Laura’s partner Alex, Laura in the middle, then Laura’s friend Cat, and Cat’s friend Suzanne.

That last shot is definitely Christmas-card worthy. Actually, they all are!

I’m now officially done with the Christmas posts and it’s only January 5. Whoo-hoo!

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Christmas Morning Mountain Hike

On Christmas morning, which was at the end of our trip to Albuquerque, I felt well enough to go on our annual Christmas morning snow hike in the Sandia Mountains. I was still coughing a bit, and we kept the hike short, but it was good to be out. We went first thing in the morning while everyone was still opening presents.

We caught this guy by surprise.

He was like, “Whaaat? Why are there humans out? It’s Christmas morning!”

Last year there was tons of fresh snow and were glad for our snowshoes.

This year there wasn’t as much snow, and what snow was there was iced over.

Luckily, I brought my Yaktrax, which are metal coils wrapped around rubber which pull over the bottom of your boots. They are amazing on ice. If you have to regularly, or even occasionally, walk on crusted snow, wet snow, ice or water on ice, you need a pair of these.

I don’t want to sound like an advertisement here, but they are currently for sale on Amazon for $15. https://www.amazon.com/Yaktrax-Traction-Cleats-Walking-Medium/dp/B0094GO9DA

And they are so amazing. They totally take the worry out of hiking on ice. In general I am much more likely to slip and fall than John is, but I never even slid once. John, who wasn’t wearing them, slid a few times during the hike and nearly fell once. They are a total game changer.

It was a beautiful Christmas morning hike.

We enjoyed our annual pilgrimage to see the snow.

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Albuquerque Gardens the next morning

After being amazed by the beautiful bamboo lights the night before, we came back in the morning to get a closer look in daylight.

But first, on a funny note, I thought this poster next to a new construction area was great!

Now let’s check out those bamboo lights. Maybe Laura can tell us what this means.

The light poles are every bit as beautiful in the daylight.

A few of them were not actually real bamboo.

We couldn’t figure out which situations they would use real ones, and which not. It did not seem to be related to size or location.

It seemed like most of them were real bamboo.

It’s fun to see the park grow over time.

Another thing that caught my eye that morning is this large fresco. It’s not new, it’s been there since before I moved to Albuquerque, but it spoke to me on that day. If you look closely, you can see the story. (This one’s for you, Emily.)

If you just glance at it from the left, or even look at it straight on, it’s hard to immediately see what’s going on, because the elderly man lying in the bedroom is obscured.

Once you see him, you understand the washcloth in the woman’s hand.

Suddenly it becomes apparent that the bundle in the central woman’s hands contains herbs. She’s the medicine woman, being shown to the bedroom.

The young girl on the left must have raced to the door to open it when they heard the knock.

Last you notice the men of the family, waiting and worrying in the background. They are not the major personalities in this drama.

It was a beautiful morning at the end of a good year.

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Albuquerque’s light show

We made it to River of Lights, which is the Albuquerque Botanical Garden light show. Every year it is bigger. Albuquerque’s botanical garden is many times larger than the one I volunteer at in Tucson, and is supported by the city, so they can do much more.

I’ve posted River of Lights photos on this blog many times before, so I won’t post very many photos of the exhibits we’ve seen before. Here’s just a few from the older sections of the park.

The new big thing this year was lights in the Japanese Garden. John and I remember years ago when they were first building the Japanese Garden. After it was complete, it was always my favorite part of the garden. But for years it was closed off during the light show. We were quite excited to see it open with lights this year.

In particular we were impressed with all the new bamboo lights.

We were so impressed that we went back the next morning to look at it in the daylight. That’s up next.

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A quick, no-socializing trip to Albuquerque

John and I went to Albuquerque for Christmas. Unfortunately we were sick, so we didn’t get out much. In particular, when we first got there I was coughing like I had some sort of plague, so I avoided people. We didn’t go to Old Town, or Jackalope, and didn’t see any of our friends.

We rented Mark and Steve’s casita like we always do. It has become almost a home away from home for us. Unfortunately because I was sick, we didn’t accept their generous invitation to Christmas dinner.

Toward the end of our stay I was feeling better and we did a few outdoor activities. We walked the local ditches (that is, we walked the trails alongside the acequias), that are just a block away from the casita.

When I was there in October the ditches were still running, but in December they were dry. I forgot to take a photo of the acequias, but it was pretty. By Christmastime the cottonwood leaves have turned a light golden bronze color, but they are mostly still on the trees. It’s quite beautiful. Here is a picture of one on our walk from the casita towards the acequias, which are just there at the end of the street where it makes a right turn.

This next photo is of a beautiful metal and stained glass gate along the acequia trail. I want that!

Next up, more photos from Christmas in Albuquerque.

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Missed poets, felted berets, and tsunami scares

I’ve been sick, so I missed seeing my favorite poet, Ada Limón, who was in Tucson on Tuesday. Dana even scored two difficult-to-come-by tickets and invited me, but I wasn’t sure I was well enough yet. Here’s my lucky friend Dana, getting her book signed by the beautiful and talented Ada. I have that book too, but alas, mine is not signed.

After that disappointment, I was determined to make it to my felting class with my friend Michelle, two days later on Thursday. The teacher, Olga, had scheduled it over a month ago, reserved a room at the wool shop specifically to accommodate our schedule. There were only 4 of us, so I didn’t feel like I should cancel at the last minute. But obviously, I didn’t want to go if I was still contagious.

Turns out I was completely fine by Thursday, yay! The wool shop is literally walking distance from my house, and the weather is amazing right now. I had a pleasant walk over in the sunshine, while chatting with my sister on the phone.

We had all just gotten settled around the art table, and Olga had started giving instructions, when my phone chimed. I apologized, “Let me just turn this off,” I said. But as I opened it to switch it off, I saw this text from Laura: “We just got a tsunami warning, I guess there was a pretty big earthquake off the coast near eureka. I’m at Meta, which is right on the bay, so my coworker and I have gone up to the second floor of the building, though nobody else seems to be reacting at all”

I’m a speed reader, and all I saw was “tsunami…earthquake…right on the bay…gone to the second floor.” My mind pretty much exploded at that point.

Remember the horrible tsunami that hit Indonesia, Sri Lanka and Thailand in December of 2004? That was just two months after Laura and I had been to coastal Thailand. The section of coast where we had stayed was completely devastated. I tried, but failed, to find out whether or not the family who owned and ran the restaurant and four bungalows where we stayed had survived. When I googled the small town, the news reports carried horror stories of bodies in trees. When I went back some years later with John, the little set of bungalows had been rebuilt and expanded, and no one would tell me anything that wasn’t both vague and positive (that’s the Thai way).

And remember the horrible tsunami and reactor meltdown in Japan in 2011? Yep, Laura was in Japan during that entire, drawn out catastrophe. She wasn’t exactly in that same area, but not all that far away. What is it with my daughter and tsunamis?

Typically she works at home in Santa Clara, well away from the bay. But not today. Today she was right smack on the bay.

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Menlo+Park,+CA+94025/@37.4856429,-122.147099,892m/data=!3m2!1e3!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x808fbc96cee50b3f:0x4a186d43719c540f!8m2!3d37.4856429!4d-122.147099!16s%2Fg%2F11kjjw02xn?entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI0MTIwMy4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

One could imagine the far south end of the bay is super protected, but tsunamis are weird and are often at their worst – highest waves – in the narrow inland sections of the back bays, because that’s where the bay gets shallow and constricted, leaving nowhere for the masses of water to go.

Laura said the tsunami would hit in one hour. What does one do when disaster might happen in an hour, or might not? Should she try to evacuate? If everyone tried to evacuate, it would immediately become gridlocked. Everyone’s phones had alarmed with the tsunami warning, but there was no further instructions. How are we supposed to know how seriously to take these things? Sometimes everything’s fine. Sometimes thousands of people die.

So I interrupted my teacher, gave my apologies and dashed outside to call Laura. I must have said something about tsunamis and her being right on the bay, because I remember as I headed out someone in the room called to me, “What bay?” And I’m like, “San Francisco!!”, and I was out the door.

First I called Laura. She seemed fine, a little bemused, not sure what they were supposed do. She and a coworker were hanging out upstairs instead of the ground floor. Most people weren’t reacting at all. What are these alarms for, if we’re not supposed to do something?

I didn’t talk to her very long because I figured the last thing she needed was to have to calm down her panicking mom while she tried to figure out whether she needed to evacuate. Then I tried to call John, but John is so darn hard to reach in the middle of the workday. This frustrates me to no end. So then I called mom, who is always ready with a prayer. Not sure how much that helps, but it’s definitely more useful than me just stressing out.

Then I decided to go back to class, where the teacher patiently helped me pick out colors and got me caught up. They offered to let me reschedule, but what was I going to do, walk back home just to pace alone at home? I stayed and listened distractedly and tried to follow instructions. Luckily nuno felting (wet felting) is a forgiving art form and we had a good teacher.

Shortly before it was time for the tsunami to hit, they canceled the warning.

We each made a wool beret. It only took 3 hours and our berets turned out amazing. We’re going to do another class in January to make scarves.

Here’s a picture of mine:

Michelle said it looked like the ocean, which is a lovely thought but also a little strange given that the majority of my mind was on an impending tsunami. I had not made the connection.

The berets can also be worn inside out. Here’s the inside of mine:

Here’s Michelle’s. Isn’t that amazing?

Here’s the inside of Michelle’s:

Another student named Liesl made this one, which looks fantastic with gray hair. She was making it for a friend who has gray hair, touched with pink highlights.

The underside of liesl’s:

Liesl has a glass studio, which we’re all excited about, because she says after the holidays we can come over and try a few things. She does mostly slumping with frit, not glass blowing with a torch and a glory hole. I would not want to do glass blowing; I’m too timid. But I love glass art and would love to learn how to slump frit in a kiln. Frit is little bits of colored glass, which can be layered on a mold to make plates and pictures. It’s heated in a kiln and will slump (melt) over the mold. Glass blowing is much more difficult.

Wet felting seems way easier to do at home than anything with glass, and lots cheaper too.

Here’s a few more pictures of my beret.

What a day! After I got home I put my exercise playlist on at high volume because I was still way wired. I wonder why pounding music can be calming?

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Too much stuff and not enough time

It’s time to run out and buy a lottery ticket because today is my lucky day! Amazon just fixed a $50 mistake (of theirs) with only an 11 minute phone call. This was unprecedentedly fast, a complete record. Amazon is usually horrible to work with. I brace myself for an hour of frustration if I decide it’s a big enough problem to actually call them. Of course I’m not sure it’s actually fixed. I’ll know after I see the $50, right?

This morning’s Amazon story leads me to today’s topic: too much stuff, and not enough time (and how we got here). This is a continuation of a theme I mentioned in another post a couple of weeks ago.

Recently, I read a NYT Bestseller called Four Thousand Weeks, by Oliver Burkeman (2021). I don’t recommend you rush out and buy it. It’s a bit repetitive. Although I’ve read tons of these kinds of books over the last 25 years, so if you don’t generally read self-help books, you might not find it as repetitive as I did.

His thesis is, 1) Life is ridiculously short, but we think of it as never ending, leading us to imagine we can and should do more than we can actually do in life, and 2) We have a near infinite number of great, useful, reasonable, helpful things we could do with our (very limited) time, thousands of which are important enough to seem necessary.

This author also spends a fair amount of time criticizing the implicit “you can do it all!” message of productivity books, which he sees as delusionally optimistic and making us all miserable. He points out that we are missing life if we are continually focused on the future. This is true, but I do appreciate good time management tips and tricks, because if I am going to do a thing, I might as well do it efficiently.

But we cannot solve time management issues with efficiency, any more than we can solve budget issues by only shopping discount sales. To live well, we must choose to do (and buy) only a few things. And whatever we choose is never going to seem like it’s the very best of all the options. This is because life ultimately boils down to the mundane moments when we are simply talking to a neighbor or searching the internet for a good pecan pie recipe (that’s my own example, not the author’s, and I will hopefully tell you more about that pie in another post).

Life is full of great opportunities, but to function well, we need to whittle it down to a just a few things – leaving many, many valuable, worthwhile, pressing options undone.

When people talk about “learning to say no,” we usually imagine being determined to cut negative choices out of our life. For example, to resist being bullied into sitting on a non-profit board that doesn’t interest you, or resist spending time on a work project that isn’t the direction you want to take your career. But it’s actually about saying “no” to tons of very valuable, appealing, meaningful opportunities, in order to leave room for a small number of regular ol’ stuff that we’ve chosen to do.

I volunteer at the botanical garden two hours a week on Monday mornings. Is this the highest possible use of that two hours? Probably not. But it’s what I do. And I deliberately don’t do much else for 2 more hours afterwards because I find it to be too much to do another activity in the same morning. I figured this out through trial and error!

I’m having a similar conversation with Guen and Callan, who are working on doing a better job with their budget. There are inevitably more useful, valuable, seemingly-necessary things to do with their money than they have money. And this is the case for all of us in our current culture, regardless of how wealthy we are. There’s always more amazing and important things to do with one’s money.

Over 20 years ago, when I was first learning to be a life coach, I was taught that yes-or-no decisions aren’t really choices. I didn’t understand it at the time, although I grasped that more options could potentially increase the likelihood of a better outcome.

The key here is, it’s not a matter of recognizing whether a potential purchase is good or bad and making a yes-or-no decision about a particular purchase. There are too many good options out there to simply use good-bad or yes-no as a decision criteria. It doesn’t narrow the options down enough.

Pretty much all the stuff that Guen (or I) want to buy is good and useful stuff. So we can’t decide by using the question of, “Is it worth it, yes or no?” Instead, it’s a prioritization exercise. What we have to do is ask, “Is it a very top priority?” In order to ask that question, we need to have some idea of what our other options might be, for comparison.

What are our other options? Nothing short of thousands and thousands of other things! For example, check out this list that hits my inbox every week, https://thisistucson.com/todo/things-to-do-tucson/article_7eb41308-b105-11ef-b0c1-23abc06dbcba.html

100 things to do just in my mid-sized city, and it doesn’t even include the music events I like! The opportunities are near-endless.

So how do we choose? I suggest keeping a list of things that have caught your attention, whether it is activities you’d like to do or things you’d like to buy. Note how much each of those options would cost in time and money. Think about what you and others are likely get out of each of them and what your priorities are. Sit with the list for awhile. See which things slowly percolate to the top.

Amazon has a handy “save for later” option to help save purchase ideas, which can use as a list of potential purchase, in order to prioritize between all of them. Likewise, I’ll put potential events that I’m considering on a separate calendar so I can still see them and use them as part of my decision making, without yet committing to them. If I signed up for everything that sounded good, or bought everything that seemed necessary – you know what would happen. Too much stuff and not enough time!

I am dedicating this month to getting rid of stuff. I actually started in November, but it’s a difficult, time-consuming process. I also want to refrain from buying so many good things in the future. Realizing that it is good things – but too many of them – that I’m buying, is key for me. It’s not that I’m buying bad things! I like the things I buy. But I have too many. So it’s not sufficient to simply quit buying bad things. I also need to quit buying most of the good things!

I’m also going to do fewer activities. I have a set of criteria (values) I designed for myself to help guide my activity decisions. Your values would be different, but I’m sure we would overlap in some areas. Here are mine (not in any order):

  • Helpful to others
  • Friends
  • Family
  • Outdoors
  • Active/exercise
  • Learning
  • Music/dance
  • Art
  • Science
  • Local community/nearby

Not everything I put into my calendar is going to check all the boxes. But some things will check several boxes at once. I can even play a little game to see which activities check the highest number of boxes. For example, going to see a local live band performing on an outdoor plaza where there’s dancing, checks four values: “Outdoors”, “Active/exercise”, “Music/dance”, and “Local community”. And if I can find someone who wants to go with me, even better, that will also check off “Friends” for a total of 5 categories and a great evening!

If I discover an activity that seems compelling but doesn’t check any boxes, then I’ve probably left some important values off my list, and it might be useful to rethink the list. For example, for some things, I like regular activities better than occasional or one-off activities. There’s a couple of reasons for this. For one thing, I like some structure in my week.

For another thing, I’m working on making new local friends, and it’s definitely easier to make friends if you’re going to repeat events and not one-offs. At least for me! I’m not friendly enough to meet people and remember their names and get their phone numbers and schedule something to do together – if I’ve only met them once! Most of my friends are other volunteers on my team at the botanical garden, because that’s where I see the same few people over and over for a year now. It takes me awhile! So maybe I should add “repeating” to my list of values for potential uses of my time.

I wonder if I should make a similar list to help guide my purchases? Because I can’t just buy everything that sounds reasonable or I will very soon again be drowning in stuff. And out of money!

So how about that lottery ticket? I guess I’ll pass on that.

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The start of December

I have a cold. I’m not ridiculously sick, just sick enough that I canceled all my fun stuff planned for today. I was planning to dance in the park with a group that puts together a very good set of world music each week. I only recently discovered them and I have been wanting to go back. But not today. I also had planned to go listen to a local blues band with a friend tonight, and had to cancel that too. Bummer!

I guess the silver lining is now I have some unexpected time to blog! I haven’t posted about anything since a camping trip back in mid-September, so wow, how to summarize the rest of September, and all of October and November?

But first, Happy Birthday Dad! I’m listening to some Jimi Hendrix in your honor.

Next up, I’ll completely switch genres and go for some Andres Segovia.

Screenshot

Those are two of my favorites from my childhood, and still two of my favorite genres: blues and Spanish guitar.

If the technology worked, that’s a link for Tárrega: Recuerdos De La Alhambra from The Legendary Andrés Segovia – My Favorite Works

Next up: back to September to see if I can pick up what got missed.

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