Time to head home

When I bought my plane tickets for Boston, we didn’t know exactly when our bathroom remodel would start. As it turns out, the remodel started a week and a half sooner than I was scheduled to return. That first week of the remodel was very hard on John (and Biska) without me there to run interference during the day while John was away at work. As the week progressed, it grew increasingly impossible for me to run the remodel over video call from Boston.

On Thursday of the first week of the remodel, I called the airline and moved my flight up by a few days, to fly out that Saturday instead of the following Wednesday. The process took nearly an hour on the phone, but the agent was friendly and helpful. He helped me look into all the flight options, and even helped me pick new seats. I would be there when they started the second week of the remodel. Emily was understanding and John was greatly relieved.

The next day, on Friday, the airlines sent me an email titled, “Tropical weather may affect your upcoming travel plans”. A hurricane was approaching the Boston area and was due to peak about the same time my flight was scheduled to take off! The airline sent me multiple emails and text messages, offering to to reschedule my flight to a later date for no extra charge. But I don’t want to reschedule again!

I consulted with the family frequent flier (John) and decided not to reschedule. They weren’t going to take off if the weather didn’t meet their safety criteria. If the plane took off, great, I was on my way. If it didn’t take off due to hurricane weather, then I guess I’d have to reschedule at that point. I would cross that bridge when I got there. I decided to stick with my plans, hurricane or no hurricane.

It occurred to me later that this was an interesting data point on my ongoing attempt to figure out why I hate flying so much. Flying causes me a lot of anxiety. I used to assume that I was afraid to fly. Isn’t that what anxiety is? Fear? And aren’t people who are afraid of flying, afraid because they think the plane is going to crash? Therefore, I must think the plane was going crash, right? Except I didn’t.

I know planes are statistically – and fundamentally – safe. Of course nothing is completely safe. But planes are much safer than driving on the freeway. Over time I’ve become quite sure that a fear of crashing isn’t the problem. I also don’t appear to fear the prospect of turbulence. And I don’t tend to get seasick.

Here I am, dreading the flight as usual, and yet, with the warning of a hurricane approaching, I’m like, “Uh, whatever. We’ll take off or we won’t. It’ll probably be bumpy. I’ll be fine”. I could easily have postponed my flight, free of charge, but no. A flight during a hurricane didn’t seem to phase me any more than a flight without a hurricane. That made no sense.

My cavalier attitude about the impending hurricane completely confirmed my suspicion that I am not afraid that the plane is going to crash. Anyone who is afraid of a plane crashing would not be willing to take off with a hurricane in the forecast! Right? So what is wrong with me? Why do I hate flying so much? I just hate it. I don’t know why!

And by the way, I was totally enjoying my visit! It’s not like I was desperate to get home asap. John was looking forward to me getting home, but I was honestly reluctant to face that remodel. Ugh! Living with a remodel is so stressful. It’s so loud and there’s strangers in and out of the house all day, and yuck, yuck, yuck. But hurricane or not, (and remodel or not), it was time to head home.

How does the old saying go? Red sky at night, sailor’s delight, red sky in the morning, sailors take warning? We had a beautiful red night sky the evening before my flight.

The next morning there was no sign of a hurricane.

Lol, so here’s me at an airport. First of all, I couldn’t get the kiosk to let me pay for my checked bags. Luckily the airport was practically empty (especially compared to when I arrived midnight, when it was grand central station, thronged, complete traffic jam). At noon on Saturday it’s completely empty! A cheerful clerk came and helped – I didn’t even have to track anyone down. 

She got my bags checked in and directed me to security. Off I went. I got to security to discover I didn’t have my driver’s license. I must have left it on the counter at baggage check. So back to baggage check I went. Again, there were more clerks than customers, so my license was quickly discovered sitting abandoned on the counter. 

Off I went to security again. I handed my license to the official, and he checked me in. I had just started toward the screening when he called me back. Uh-oh! Now what did I do wrong? Apparently I should have been in the TSA precheck line instead of the regular line. I asked if it mattered, and he said no, except at TSA pre, I don’t need to open my bag and take off my shoes. That sounded better, so I went over there. There were no lines anywhere, so it hardly mattered.

As I went under the scanner, it beeped at me. Yay, I was randomly selected! At that point I figured I would have been better off if I had stayed in the regular line. They told me to walk down and see the officer over there and she would scan me. I looked in the direction they pointed and didn’t see who they meant. I was like, “Who? Where do I go?” That’s me at an airport, continual confusion. Wha? Wha? Where?

Another TSA guy said, “Just head that way but don’t pick up your bags”. That was good advice because as I headed that way, someone waved me over. From a distance “she” had looked like a “he”, and I hadn’t understood who had been meant. I know we really should stop using gender as an identifier, but my old brain is trained to expect she’s to look like she’s.

It turns out all they wanted to scan were my hands, so it didn’t take long. Even though I had confusions checking my bag and getting through security, the airport was so empty I was at the gate plenty early.

The whole experience, even with confusions, was much better than normal. Two things made a huge difference and helped it all work out. First, there were almost no other customers, so the clerks weren’t impatient with me. Also I was trying to stay extra friendly and smiley and cheerful, which always helps a lot. Most people (including me) scowl when they’re confused, and I’m a walking bundle of confusion at an airport. I know the clerks have an awful job and they don’t like to be scowled at. Bottom line, I do fine when no one is grumpy or in a rush, and everyone is patient with my confusion and treats me well.

Sure enough, the flight was fine. It was a little bit turbulent on the ascent, but no worse than the descent into Phoenix. Boston’s hurricane weather turned out to be no worse than a normal summer day in Phoenix.

Then I had a quick little flight to Tucson and home. The leg from Phoenix to Tucson is so short, you’re starting the descent before you’ve hardly finished the ascent. The flight attendants try to provide drink service, probably because it’s their policy for all flights, but it’s hilariously rushed.

I was very happy I had made it out to Boston to see everyone. Here are some baby pictures to remember it all by:

Next time we visit Callista will be a lot bigger! I’m lucky I was able to meet her when she first arrived.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

John Visits Boston

When John first arrived in Boston I had a migraine. So I rested while John helped Emily and Bryan continue to work on getting their house put back together after their remodel. They had to put most of their possessions in storage in their huge detached garage, some of which was up in a loft space and awkward to get down the ladder.

That afternoon I wanted to go into the city to see some of the tourist sights. I still had the migraine and it was hot, so we didn’t stay long. We just walked around a bit. Here I am near the USS Constitution. I apparently did not take a picture of the USS Constitution, but it is an old battleship that you can tour.

What I really wanted to do was go out at night to see the city lights. So the next day I asked Bryan where he would recommend. He was like, what do you mean, see the city lights? I guess to someone who lives in Boston, it was like saying I wanted to see the rain. Or the trees. Or the buildings.

John is fairly familiar with Boston because he’s had a lot of business trips there. And he’s familiar with my interest in viewing city lights at night, particularly along waterways. So between the two of them, we figured out the perfect spot; the Charles River Esplanade. It is a park with a paved trail along the river. And on the other side of the river – tall buildings with lights reflecting on the water!

We got there early and bought ice cream and watched the sunset over the water.

As it got dark, we found a bench with a great view. It was perfect except for the mosquitos!

This is exactly what I meant by city lights.

Then we walked through the commons to get back to the parking garage.

Unfortunately John and I both came down with colds, so we didn’t do much else on his trip to Boston. He had to catch his flight home all stuffed up, masked and miserable. Poor guy. Still, I’m glad he made it out. Emily’s girls love to see him, and it amuses me when they forget he’s “Uncle John” and they call him grandpa 😉

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Sunny Days in Boston and elsewhere too!

The weather in Boston was excellent. Whenever I visit, I thoroughly enjoy the hiking trails through a large wooded open space only a couple of blocks from Emily’s house.

Gardening is Emily’s favorite activity (other than taking care of her kids). When she can do both at the same time – even better!

We had been planning to go apple picking the first Saturday I was there, but the kid’s nanny, Kari, had accidentally taken Emily’s car keys with her over the weekend, and Bryan couldn’t find his. I didn’t mind, I was happy to stay home. Kari came over the next day to return the keys, with her boyfriend Ryan, in his very fancy classic car.

Left to right, Phoebe, Ryan, Kari, Emily

Meanwhile, back in Tucson, John sent me these photos. We were getting typical monsoon weather for late summer. It’s crazy, sometimes we’ll get slush and hail when it’s over 100º out. I love the summer weather in Tucson, but I understand why a lot of people don’t.

While I’m posting photos of elsewhere, here’s a fun photo Laura sent that week; Pride Parade! Laura’s much better at taking selfies than I am.

I was also getting really nice photos from Tracey who was visiting Ireland. Here she is with her daughter, Amy. Amy helps me with technical issues with my websites and this blog, so we all have Amy to thank!

What a beautiful trip!

If you’re not reading my bla-bla-bla and just skimming through pictures, you’re going to be like, what the heck? That doesn’t look like Boston! No, no it doesn’t.

Meanwhile I continued to steadily get selfies of Callan and Guen (aka Chirstina) in front of their gym. Way to go! Keep up the good workouts!

Then John had to go on a business trip to New Mexico. While there, he was able to take a quick hike in White Sands.

If you’re wondering what could possibly have taken John out to middle-of-nowhere central New Mexico on a business trip – there’s an Air Force base out there.

Poor John had barely gotten back from New Mexico when it was time to get back on the plane and join me in Boston! More about that next post.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

The master bathroom remodel

The handsome and cheerful Oscar-the-tile-guy said he and Enrique would be back at 7:00 this morning, but it was the kindly, bumbling Todd who came knocking at 6:30, wanting into my dining room to access the electrical outlet on the opposite side of the wall he was working on. Luckily, the screech of drywall being cut with a power saw had already gotten me out of bed. I had barely managed to get dressed and had not yet stumbled into my kitchen for my coffee.

The fact that I have to get dressed before I get my coffee is only the first of many challenges in the mornings nowadays. Discovering guys unexpectedly crawling around underneath my dining room table this morning was better than our emergency all-hands meeting at 6:00 yesterday morning when the countertop didn’t fit.

Yes, we are remodeling again. After taking a break, we have hired a large company to remodel the master bathroom. We didn’t give this job to Neil because he doesn’t have a large in-house crew. He has to schedule independent tradesmen for everything and is dependent on their schedules. Plus, Neil just isn’t all that organized. So everything takes longer.

Our new guy, BJ, doesn’t do any of the work himself, and either does his right-hand-man, Kevin. Instead, their tradesmen arrive early each morning, usually one or two at a time, but sometimes up to four guys crammed in that bathroom.

I’m really glad it’s getting done rapidly, but it is very stressful. The faster a project goes, the faster the problems come flying at John and I. And there are always problems, particularly in a house this old.

They initially installed the plumbing for the shower on the wrong wall and then tried to convince me it was better that way. No. Do it the way the plans show, please.

Luckily we caught it before the drywall was installed. The controls are on the right, reachable prior to going into the shower. Otherwise, we’d be unable to dodge the initial blast of cold water.

We wanted the the shower head is on the short wall, because it’s a very small shower and it was too cramped when the shower head was on the wall where the controls are. I would back up and hit my head on the wall every time I tried to wash my hair. It’s like I never learned! Retrofitting old bathrooms is definitely a design challenge.

I think that pink stuff might be some sort of water barrier. It’s quite an impressive color.

This orientation is still not ideal, because we will have shower spray in the direction of the toilet. But if it’s too bad, we can add glass to the top of the pony wall. The toilet is going back in place where it was originally, which is where that bucket is sitting. We’re keeping the same toilet, but we’re installing an electrical outlet for a washlet.

Hopefully they don’t get confused and install the new toilet I just bought for the hall bathroom (more on that later). It’s still in the box sitting in the garage next to the other building materials. Maybe we should hide it somewhere until John gets a chance to install it. The hall bath is already done, so John’s just going to install it himself.

Speaking of more work for John, one morning our irrigation mysteriously sprung a large leak right next to where Todd and Brandon were doing cutting and other staging work in the backyard.

I didn’t make any accusations – these things happen. What annoyed me wasn’t the break, it was the guys trying to pretend they didn’t do it, even though I had never even insinuated that they had. Todd kept saying it was always like that – he had seen it leaking for the whole time. Seriously guys, if you actually saw water streaming from a break in our irrigation line continuously for the past week and a half, don’t you think you should have mentioned it? In my opinion, that’s more egregious than having accidentally whacked the irrigation line.

Anyway, one more thing for John to fix.

One morning the excitement for the day was all about the wrong paint color:

At least they checked the match before painting everything that dingy dark greenish-brown. Then I had to listen to lots of chatter about who’s fault it was or wasn’t that they bought a gallon of the wrong paint. It doesn’t matter! It’s just a gallon of paint! Go back and get the right color, duh.

Then we had a false alarm when it looked like the guys were tossing out critical parts to our very expensive solartube:

But no, according to our contractor, they were just using that garbage can as a table, and our delicate solatube lens was perfectly safe and sound and not scratched (never mind the fact that that the lens was piled on top of drywall scraps and plastic packaging, under a discarded empty plastic bottle, a roll of orange tape, and a sharp metal wall grate). Grrr, can you be a little bit more careful?

I don’t even know why they had to take the lens off, maybe to protect it? Buy putting it in the garbage can? We’re not nearly ready to paint yet.

Then the pony walls were installed at the wrong height, with the outlets in the wrong places. They had already cut the wire short, so we had no slack in the wire left to move the outlets back to the end of the wall, where they had been originally, and where they were still supposed to be. Now we have an extra junction box on the wall, because by code you can’t splice wires without adding a junction box at the splice. The box will be hidden behind a dresser, but still, there will be a cover plate in the wall tile forever now, due to their goof.

Instead of buying a standard cabinet, we had our friend Gonzalo, in Taos, make a beautiful cabinet front piece that matches our bedroom furniture.

But it’s only the front piece – just the cabinet doors. We didn’t have Gonzolo build the whole cabinet box that goes under the sinks, because that part doesn’t show. We asked our contractor to build a cabinet box with cabinet-grade finished plywood to go behind the front piece.

But when John came home that night, he discovered they were just using 2×4’s on the sides, no finished cabinet walls, and they had used a crappy piece of regular plywood for the bottom. He quickly ran to Home Depot late at night to get finished cabinet-grade plywood.

Building the cabinet box is a simple task, but a bit unusual, and poor Todd was in over his head. John realized that and drew a schematic for him.

It’s often on John and I to notice the detail problems because the guys are just doing what they think they’re supposed to be doing. They’re working away, thinking everything is fine and don’t even know there’s a problem.

Until the countertop didn’t fit, and then everyone knew there was a problem. Even BJ came out for that one.

John’s drawing was correct, but Todd had installed the interior front crosspiece flat rather than on end, which didn’t allow for enough room for the sinks behind it. It was also installed too far back, resulting in the cabinet doors also being installed too far back. The resulting cabinet was not deep enough.

But most concerning was that the space between the side walls was no longer wide enough for the full length of the countertop. The countertop literally would not go into the space.

The countertop had originally fit. It was installed back when the kitchen countertop and hall bath countertop was installed; all cut from the same batch of quartzite slabs. Here it is, being installed in January. We set it on the old cabinet without gluing it down, because we knew we’d be lifting it to put a new cabinet under it later.

It lifted out fine, but now the opening between the side walls was too small to get it back in. At that point I nearly panicked because I didn’t want them to break the countertop trying to wedge it in there. Our contract specifically called out that they were not responsible if they broke our countertop because it was a prior installation and not their responsibility. The countertop is the most expensive thing in that bathroom and was my top priority – but not theirs. They were disinclined to spend days rebuilding everything just because the countertop was now 1/4 inch too long.

I was frantically trying to reach John, who is nearly impossible to reach at work. He does not have a desk phone and is not allowed to have cell phones in the limited area. He checks his texts once a day at lunchtime, and his email when he can. At first I was trying to be diplomatic about it. I wrote, “There’s been a lot of remodel issues today and I think we need to reevaluate you only being reachable once per day”. Fifteen minutes later I was getting more desperate and wrote, “We’ve got some issues and you are going to need to be here when the countertop is installed, you’re going to need to take time off…”

The countertop should have fit because the plans did not call for any alterations of the location of the side walls. But in the process of moving the showerhead to the other wall and rerouting the electrical to clear the new, standard height cabinet, they had stripped the walls down to the 2×4’s.

Except the the wall on the right, which turned out to be lath and plaster.

By the way, if you’re not familiar with lath and plaster, it’s an old fashioned way to make walls. The lath is perforated metal sheeting (imagine super-strong thick chicken wire), which is used to hold the plaster, which is a cement-like substance, that used to be used to build walls instead of the more modern sheets of drywall. It’s very difficult to cut or remove.

It’s unusual to have lath and plaster in a house built in the mid-1960’s. It was mostly discontinued in the 1950’s. Only a few of our walls have it, which makes me wonder if the 1964 build was possibly done around a smaller original structure built at an earlier, unknown date.

Anyway, the problem at the moment was the countertop didn’t fit. When the the new drywall was installed and textured on the left wall between the sinks and the shower, somehow the wall turned out to be a bit wider than it had been. The space for the countertop was now 1/4 inch too narrow. In exasperation, Todd wondered aloud if I could just get a granite guy to “shave half an inch off” the edge of our countertop! Uh – no!

Suggesting we shave off the side of our countertop to make it fit is the sort of joke BJ would make, just goofing around, but Todd sounded serious there for a moment. He was understandably desperate to not have to rebuild everything. We suspect that BJ takes it out of their pay when they make a mistake, because they are surprisingly reluctant to take responsibility for anything – even the minor issue of a gallon of paint the wrong shade. But in this case, Todd was beside himself apologizing over and over, saying he had made a major mistake and really messed it up. He was quite upset.

I figured so long as the countertop wasn’t broken, we could work through it. My next goal was to protect my precious countertop from any fallout.

After finally getting my increasingly alarming text messages, John came home to assess the issue. He instructed them to cut notches out of the incorrectly-placed interior crossbar to make room for the sinks, and cut grooves into the wall to make room for the countertop.

In the end, we lost about half an inch of countertop behind the sinks where it jutts into the back wall, and another half inch to the left of the sinks where it juts into the left side wall. But once the tile is in, you’ll never know there’s countertop buried in the walls. Also the countertop hangs over the cabinets a bit more than it should, but it’s not noticeable.

Here you can see how far they had to cut into the wall to fit the countertop in.

They did not try to cut into the lath and plaster wall on the right, which means the sinks were shifted left slightly and are no longer quite exactly centered. I don’t think it will be too noticeable.

Then yesterday morning’s issue was pencil tile.

We thought we had picked out an off-white pencil tile for the trim work around the wall tile, but when I got to Floor and Decor to pick it up, it was clearly gray.

Gray was not going to work. The cabinet is honey oak with reddish willow branch trim and the the accent tile pieces are bronze. We went with cool blue-greens in the hall bath, but this bathroom is being done in warm tones.

Did I get the code mixed up with the gray pencil tile we used for our hall bathroom? Or did it look off-white when we picked it out and now it looks gray all piled up like that? Who knows, but it was clearly gray and I needed to choose a new color – immediately! The tiling has already started!

Here’s the new pencil tile I choose, on the left. It matches the color of the base of the tile rather than the raised pattern. The new tile has a slightly different curve, so I had to clear it with Oscar to make sure it would still work. He said it would actually be easier.

But with the last minute switch, Floor and Decor didn’t have enough in stock. It’s coming, they say, hopefully on Monday. Maybe? Meanwhile we’ve got two tile guys who already started installing the tile yesterday (Thursday). What happens if the pencil tile is late?

We’ll find out next week!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

A place called Frida’s

I may have mentioned, I’ve been practicing doing things on my own recently. My purpose is to discover what I would do differently – if anything – when left to my own devices. I’ve been paying attention to the difference between what I actually enjoy doing, vs what I’m doing out of habit.

I don’t remember what made me randomly think this morning of the local breakfast/brunch/lunch cafe called Frida’s. John and I had been there once awhile ago and liked the food. The fresh squeezed orange juice is so authentic it has seeds in it. It’s a small place, with a little outdoor patio that allows dogs. Plus, it’s within walking distance! Why are we not there every weekend?

I was just about to stick it on the list of things for us to do this coming weekend (and was feeling disappointed that today was only Monday) when I thought, why don’t I go myself, now? John’s at work but I could go. I hadn’t had breakfast yet, and Biska and I could use a break from the construction noise. My house is obnoxiously loud with the master bathroom remodel going on (more on that later). I’ll just take Biska and walk down there. 

The food was great and Biska was happy to have the excursion.

Breakfast was orange juice and a chorizo breakfast burrito with a side of pickled vegetables and two homemade sauces. You need to ask for the special hot sauces, otherwise they just serve a basket of bottled hot sauces. The homemade pickles were a pleasant surprise I wasn’t expecting.

It totally worked out fine, although without anyone to talk with, I didn’t end up staying very long. And I felt a little guilty going out to eat while John was at work!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Guen

Hi everyone, I’ve been busy (more on that later) but I wanted to drop a quick note because we have another name change in the family. Chirstina is now going by Guen, which is pronounced “Gwen” and is short for Guenhwyvar. Her friends have been calling her Guen for some time now. Now it’s time we join them!

Callan and Guen are both doing well; they are going to the gym regularly, enjoying it, and making great progress. They often send me selfies to let me know they’re at the gym, and I love getting those regular pictures of their happy faces.

It’s especially fun because all they’re doing is saying “Here we are!” and not trying to carefully pose for posterity. So they’re very candid and enjoyable pictures.

I don’t think they’ll mind if I post a few 🙂

They always brighten my day.

The only problem is because they’re going to the gym, Callan’s hair is pulled back in the gym selfies.

Callan has amazing hair.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.