Category: February 2023

For several years, the main picture on the top of this blog was me with our three little black poodles; Kira, Rosie and Kai.

Rosie passed away from old age during the summer of 2020, and Kai followed her a bit over a year later during the fall of 2021, also of old age. Now Kira has passed away yesterday, at age 8, of an unknown but several-months-long illness.

Kira, who has been in Callan’s care since my cancer treatment in 2020, first developed a mysterious lump last fall. We had it surgically removed when it became infected. They expected to find a cheatgrass seed, which can burrow under a dog’s skin and cause an infection. There is a lot of cheatgrass in the Boise area. But after the surgery it turned out it wasn’t cheatgrass. We also tested the lump for cancer, but it wasn’t cancer either.

Later we removed a second lump on her other side, equally mysterious despite testing. Then she started losing weight, so she was put on a round of antibiotics. After more testing, the vet seemed at a loss, and unable to help.

We took her to a second vet, who did more testing and prescribed a stronger antibiotic for a longer length of time. She rallied briefly, but soon started losing weight again. So once again she went on more antibiotics, plus an appetite stimulant and painkillers. She’s been in and out of the vet’s for several months now.

Nothing was working, and she became frighteningly thin because she had essentially stopped eating or drinking. Yesterday morning when Callan took her into the vet she was in liver failure, so we made the difficult decision to put her down. Despite extensive testing, we never did find out what she had wrong with her.

Eight years were too short, but they were good ones. We adopted Kira as a puppy during a time when both Callan and Laura were living with us in California. She was truly the whole family’s dog. When I got cancer in 2020, Kira went to live with Callan and Chirstina while I recovered. They kept her even after I recovered, because Kira was such a sweetheart.

Here she is as a tiny puppy in November of 2014. It doesn’t get any cuter than this!

Learning to go on walks with the big dogs:

Her first big hiking trip:

Bigger by springtime, playing tug-o-war with Kai.

I didn’t export these photos in a way that maintained the chronological order. So the rest of these pics are in random order. When the three poodles are together, you can tell which one is Kira by the white on her face. And the ball at her feet! Unless hiking, she was rarely without her ball.

Eclipse viewing:

We are all very sad, but we had lots of fun times together. May she be in a happy place of endless ball tosses.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

This week I helped my friend, Tara, who traveled to Scottsdale (in the Phoenix area) to get some extensive inner ear surgery done. She’s from Albuquerque, but decided to get her surgery done at the Mayo clinic instead. Smart decision! It’s not that there’s not some good doctors in Albuquerque – certainly there are. But Albuquerque is not a major mecca of great medicine. That’s why I had my cancer surgery done in Boston (that, plus Emily’s help was invaluable).

The Mayo clinic is a bit over two hours from my house, so Tara and I got a hotel for the night prior and the night after the surgery. We didn’t know the time of her surgery until the evening before, and it would have been difficult to drive all the way up there in time for an early morning slot. Also I didn’t think she would feel up to the drive home immediately after the surgery (and she wasn’t).

I arrived before Tara, so I went out to eat by myself, which I rarely do. I didn’t feel like driving anywhere in the Scottsdale rush hour, so I just walked to the closest place, which was a fancy pizza place. (Most places in Scottsdale are quite nice – it’s an affluent area.)

It wasn’t crowded because it wasn’t quite dinner time yet.

I didn’t feel like pizza, but I figured I could get a salad. As I was reading the menu, one of the descriptions of one of the salads mentioned that instead of a chicken salad, you could get the chicken on a bed of sautéed spinach and mushrooms. This was just hidden at the end of the description of one of the salads – I can’t believe I even spotted it. It’s so rare to find good vegetables at restaurants – particularly at a pizza place!

The first night at the hotel, the night before her surgery, the wind got so bad it woke us up with all the noise outside. It sounded like a million things dragging and flapping. I couldn’t believe how loud it was, and it just went on and on. It seemed like a hurricane in the desert out there. At least it conveniently drowned out any noise of late-night people in hallways! But it was very unsettling, at an already stressful time.

The next morning we headed to the hospital. The hospital personnel didn’t want me to leave after they took Tara into the surgery prep room (where I was not allowed). I had plenty of time to leave and come back later, but they wanted me to stay on the premises. Probably in case there were any complications. So I just hung around the entire day. There is actually a hotel on premises, but it was completely full, so our hotel was offsite.

At the clinic, they had two big boards listing updates for each patient (identified by a patient number for privacy). Earlier in the day it was mostly beige and yellow for registration and pre-op, and later in the day there were a lot that were all done.

The Mayo grounds are very pretty.

I would have spent more time outside, but unfortunately it was cold and windy. The weather in Arizona has been unseasonably cold. I keep thinking I don’t have the right to whine about the weather because after all, I’m lucky enough to live in Arizona. But still, I’m expecting warm sunny days and not getting them!

By the time Tara’s surgery was done and she was able to leave the hospital, it was 8:00 at night and I had a big migraine. Probably from the windy weather, although hanging out all day at a hospital presumably didn’t help. And of course Tara was in much worse shape than I was. She was groggy from the meds and in a lot of pain. I could barely get her back to our hotel room. In hindsight I should have asked the hotel staff to take her up to the room in a wheelchair, but I didn’t think of it. We were certainly grateful we didn’t have to drive back down to Tucson that night.

I still had a migraine the next day, and there was a lot of wind while we were driving back down to Tucson. I was very happy to get home. But the first thing I saw when I walked in the door was water stains on my leather couch. The roof had been leaking!

We had put in new lights a couple of months ago, and like everything else, they required roof penetrations (as I’ve mentioned before, our ceiling is our roof, so they have to run the electrical lines on top of the roof for anything in the ceiling). One of the new lights was leaking.

I called my contractor and he sent the electrician over. I appreciated the immediate response, but we had barely been home an hour and I was nearly crazy from exhaustion and my migraine. The electrician was in my face, trying to insinuate that it couldn’t be a leak from the lights because the lights were put in 2 months ago and it’s not the first time it has rained in two months. But it is the first time that couch had been in that location. That couch had been in Albuquerque until John brought it out on one of his trips recently. And if there had been a little spot of water on the tile during these past couple of months, I wouldn’t have noticed. I was so irritated with that electrician. I told him three times the couch hadn’t been there for more than a couple of weeks, not two months!

And I had such a migraine. And I still had to pick Biska up from the pet sitters. We finally got settled in, and Tara and I (and Biska) all went to sleep about 7:30 that night, and didn’t get up for about 12 hours! We were all done in!

Meanwhile I had noticed that Biska had a little scratch on the top of her head, and it had gotten much worse because she was scratching at it with her hind foot. So first thing in the morning I went out in search of a cone. PetsMart wasn’t open yet, so I tried Target with no luck, and Walmart with no luck, and had to wait until PetsMart opened. Finally a cone!

Meanwhile, while I was running around looking for a dog cone, the electrician showed up and decided to treat my couch with leather conditioner without even asking me! And the couch wasn’t even fully dried yet! That’s not the right method – it is better to try to work on the edges of the water mark with a damp cloth first, then let it all completely dry, then use leather cleaner, then leather conditioner, applied in even strokes over the entire couch. Instead he was scrubbing hard at one spot and making everything worse. I know he was trying to be helpful, but I was just so mad that he didn’t ask first. And he probably set the stain in with the waxy crap he was rubbing into my still-damp couch.

Now from a distance there’s a big dark area where he applied product – without applying it evenly to the whole couch. I’m just going to have to buy my own product and try to redo it right to save this couch. But first, I just needed my headache to go away!

Meanwhile poor Tara was still really woozy from the pain and the meds, and slept most of Thursday. Finally on Friday things were much better for both of us. Tara felt better, my migraine was gone, and the weather got better too.

Here we are having lunch at the café at the botanical garden. It was the first time Tara had eaten solid food since Monday. She was determined to eat a burger!

This vine was in full bloom at the botanical garden. I didn’t see any identification signs. From a quick internet search, I believe it might be called Hardenbergia. I want some of that in my yard! I could use the February blooms, because I always get February blues.

Things continued to improve on Saturday. Tara and I bought take-out food and went to a very pretty outdoor mall and sat outside and ate by the fountains, murals and bougainvillea vines. I picked up a new iPad I had ordered, and she bought some favorite perfume she couldn’t get near her house, and we had a nice time walking around in the sun.

A hard week turned out well. Whew.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

We have been having windstorms, and there is something rolling around on the roof. Sounds like an empty can of something one of the workers probably left up there. It’s over the bedroom, rolling around in the wind when I’m trying to go to sleep. It’s been windy!

Unfortunately, John’s in Albuquerque and my contractor has the flu. I’m on my own. I suppose I could go up on the roof and retrieve it myself. I don’t mind being up there (it’s flat, after all), but I don’t like the part where I have to swing up off the ladder. For now I’m going to just listen to the rolling thing. At least it’s not a scurrying thing!

Meanwhile, John is having a harder week than I am. He has been super busy at work, including a big presentation on Thursday. Shortly before his presentation, he was driving to grab lunch when some old guy turned the WRONG WAY ON A ONE WAY and turned right into John’s car. Smash.

Luckily everyone was fine. But the 4Runner is bashed up. It’s not just cosmetic damage; it’s basically not drivable. And John doesn’t have time to deal with it. And I can’t very well deal with it from Tucson.

So now Laura and Alex are going to have to rent a car big enough to carry Alex’s bicycle when they come visit us in Tucson soon. There’s no way the 4Runner will be fixed by then. And it’s actually looking unlikely that John will even have time to come to Tucson for their visit! I guess we’re just thankful the crash was at slow speeds and everyone is fine.

Also in our news, it snowed in Tucson earlier this week:

And froze hard the next day. Here’s my citrus trees, all wrapped up. They had started to bloom, so I hope we don’t lose the blooms.

It snowed in Albuquerque too, but that’s not really news, lol.

My mom asked about what’s blooming in Tucson right now, so here’s a few photos from my walk around the neighborhood this week.

Oh, and cactus in someone’s gutter. I mean, I don’t know is going on up there. That’s what it looks like. Their carport is definitely sprouting cactus, right?

That’s all from Tucson!

In other news, Laura and her friends were on a ride at Great America when the ride broke down, stranding them for about 10 minutes. I would have been all anxious about that, but at least they weren’t hanging upside down, way up in the air.

Laura has also recently sent some photos from work. She often works from home or a local office, but she’s had to go in to San Francisco a couple of times recently for regional meetings.

That’s all for now! Have a good rest of your weekend everyone!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

One problem with being a few weeks behind on my blog is I start to forget exactly when I did what. But recently – we’ll just call it recently – my friend Tracey from California came to visit.

One morning we went to the Tucson Desert Museum. My favorite is the raptor show.

This next one swooped right over our heads. People asked me if I felt his wings. I didn’t see him get closer than this because I instinctively closed my eyes and probably ducked too. He flew right at me!

Time for a selfie!

The restaurant was closed, but we were able to get something from the cafeteria and take advantage of the beautiful outdoor seating. How’s that for a restaurant table?

The natural museum is on the west side of town, so while we were out there, we also went to the Saguaro National Park West. We had a great hike.

This cactus seems to have something wrong with it, but it was also very pretty.

Then we went to see the petroglyphs. Not to be a skeptic, but I don’t know what keeps modern day visitors from scratching on these rocks too.

This had been a great day, but a long day; it was the biggest outing of the visit. We were gone the entire day. When we got home, we were tired!

As soon as we got home, I immediately sensed something was off. The first thing I noticed was that my luminarias were all blown over. (Yes, my Christmas luminarias were still up in the front yard on January 26! I had higher priorities than worrying about them.) But they were blown over as if a storm had gone through, which was just so strange, because it seemed to be a nice, sunny day. Then I could hear water flowing and dripping. Uh-oh. I ran around the house looking for the broken pipe, but didn’t see any flooding inside. Finally I found it – water pouring off the roof in the back of the house!

My poor confused brain. Blown over luminarias in the front and water pouring off my roof in the back? Had there been a storm? No. The sky was bluer than blue.

Finally I realized there had to be a broken pipe on the roof. Yes, we have water pipes on the roof. We have everything on the roof, because there is no rafter or attic space whatsoever above the ceiling (our wood ceiling is our roof) and we also have no crawl space under the house, and our exterior walls are solid adobe brick, so there’s nowhere to run utilities in the walls either. So we have electrical conduit, gas lines, water lines, ductwork, you name it, on the roof.

John was working in Albuquerque, but luckily I was able to reach my contractor and we got the offending water line turned off. And luckily it was just for the evaporative cooler, which is redundant because we also have central A/C, and anyway it’s middle of winter and it’s been darn cold.

I never did figure out why the luminarias were blown over. There must have been a little dust devil go through. All told, it was enough excitement for one day.

The next day we took it easy and went to the Tucson Botanical Gardens, which are in central Tucson near my house. Here’s some great pictures from the butterfly enclosure. It’s amazing how well phones do with close up shots nowadays.

Queen Tracey in downtown Tucson:

It was a great visit!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

I am guessing that most of you have heard recent news reports about the new chatbot, ChatGPT, that is vastly better than the phone trees and other insanely annoying AI chat experiences we have all grown to hate. Most of the news articles are along the line of “Oh no, our students will cheat and have AI write their papers for them!” Yeah whatever, it’s going to create bigger problems than that.

But hey, I could use a free therapist or life coach, so I decided to give it a try. Here’s the transcript, what do you think?

Me: Hi AI!

ChatGPT: “Hello! How can I help you today?“

Me: I thought I’d try this system to help me brainstorm about some stuff

ChatGPT: “Sure thing! I’d love to help you brainstorm. What’s on your mind that you’d like to discuss?“

Me: I heard that career satisfaction needs Autonomy, mastery and purpose. But with mine, I don’t feel like I actually have a clear result. I have autonomy, meaning I run my own business. I have mastery because I’m good at it; I’ve been doing it a long time. I think it’s useful for my clients – it’s helpful – I’m in a helping profession- that’s purpose, right? But I don’t have anything concrete that I created.

ChatGPT: “Yes, having autonomy, mastery, and purpose are key components to career satisfaction. It sounds like you have a good foundation in place, with autonomy in running your own business and mastery in your field.

While it’s true that having a tangible product or result can be satisfying, purpose can also come from making a positive impact in people’s lives. The fact that you’re in a helping profession and that you find fulfillment in being able to assist your clients is already a great source of purpose.

It’s also important to keep in mind that career satisfaction is a personal and subjective experience, and what brings satisfaction to one person may not bring satisfaction to another. Additionally, it’s okay to reassess and reevaluate your sense of purpose and satisfaction over time, and make changes as necessary to align with your values and goals.

If you’re still feeling unsure, it may be helpful to consider what it is that you want out of your career, and if there are any changes or adjustments you can make to your work or approach to better align with your values and sense of purpose. You can also talk to a career counselor or mentor for guidance.“

Me: You seem to be as good as most counselors or mentors, lol. The only thing you didn’t do was ask me about where else I can be creative in my life. I do have some creative pursuits but they don’t seem to be impactful. Just amusing myself. I would like to create or produce something more tangible than helping people, but just as important – by which I guess I mean, I would like to create something that is somehow important. In which case, I would need to define important. I guess important is anything that helps people or the world somehow. Do you have any ideas?

ChatGPT: “I’m glad I could provide helpful information! Yes, exploring other creative pursuits can be a great way to find a sense of purpose and fulfillment. When it comes to defining what’s “important,” that can be a highly personal and subjective matter.

One approach could be to look at areas that you’re passionate about or causes that you care deeply about, and see how you can use your skills and creativity to make a positive impact in those areas. For example, if you have a passion for sustainability, you could explore ways to use your creativity to raise awareness about environmental issues and inspire change.

You could also consider ways to use your creativity to give back to your community or make a positive impact on the world. For example, you could volunteer your skills to support a local nonprofit organization, or use your creativity to bring attention to a social issue that you’re passionate about.

Another approach could be to explore creative pursuits that challenge you to grow and develop new skills. This can be a great way to find a sense of purpose and fulfillment, as well as to keep your creative pursuits feeling fresh and exciting.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to follow your interests and passions, and to focus on what brings you a sense of joy and fulfillment. If you can align your creative pursuits with making a positive impact on the world, all the better!“

Me: Those are useful ideas, but I think I’m looking for something more tangible than raising awareness. I already spend too much time generating ideas and encouraging people to change. There’s not enough agency in that. It’s actually rather helpless in a way. I want to provide something that doesn’t depend on other people’s growth or other people buying into what I’m saying. I’m tired of offering ideas. I want to offer something more solid. So I can say, if you want it, buy it. Any ideas for something more tangible?

ChatGPT: “I understand. It sounds like you’re looking for something more concrete and tangible that you can offer to others. Here are a few ideas that might help:

Product design: You could use your creativity to design a product that solves a problem or fills a need in the marketplace. This could be anything from a new type of tool or appliance to a unique piece of clothing or furniture.

Artistic creations: You could use your creativity to produce artwork or craft items that people can purchase. This could include paintings, sculptures, pottery, jewelry, or other handmade items.

Digital products: With the rise of the internet and digital technology, there are many opportunities to create and sell digital products, such as e-books, online courses, software programs, or mobile apps.

Food or beverage products: If you have a passion for cooking or creating recipes, you could turn your creative talents into a business by creating and selling food or beverage products. This could include anything from baked goods and snacks to specialty sauces and spice blends.

Event planning and coordination: If you have a knack for organization and planning, you could offer your services as an event planner or coordinator, helping to plan and execute events such as weddings, parties, or corporate functions.

These are just a few ideas, and there are certainly many other possibilities. The most important thing is to find something that aligns with your skills, interests, and passions, and that you feel confident in offering to others.“

Me: Good job listing options. Again, the only thing I would have suggested to improve your responses, is you really should be trying to learn a little more about me so you can customize your answers to be more tailored to my skills and values. Also, it would be nice if I could come back to this. I wonder, do you answer just the most recent paragraph, or all of what I’ve said put together? And will I be able to pick up where I left off if I log in later after a couple of days? Us humans have to take some time to think. Thanks for your time

ChatGPT: “As an AI language model, I can only respond based on the information you provide in your most recent message. However, I am trained to process and understand context, so I can use previous messages as background information to better understand your current question.

Regarding your ability to pick up where you left off, it depends on the platform or website that you’re using to access me. Some platforms may allow you to save your conversation and return to it later, while others may not. I recommend checking the specific platform’s FAQ or contacting their support team for more information.

It’s my pleasure to assist you with any questions or brainstorming you need. Just let me know how I can help!“

Wow. So there you go. No amazing insights, but then, what did we expect from something trained to regurgitate from everything that’s sloshing around on the internet? It’s still quite impressively life-like, and it did get me thinking, which is the whole point of a brainstorming exercise.

To give it a try yourself: https://chat.openai.com/chat

In order to use the chatbot, you have to create a free account with email and phone number. And keep in mind, the researchers may read what you wrote and analyze how the AI responded – it’s not confidential. Have fun!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism