My Birthday in Boston

My second day in Boston was my birthday. John sent quiche, fruit, flowers, cake and a photo of Biska with this cute card:

Emily’s girls gave me adorable handmade cards:

It was a beautiful summer day. Here’s Thea and Phoebe playing in the front yard. They had been in the pool and Phoebe was still in her floaties.

That evening we were treated to a fantastic dance show. The opening act, one minute long, is performed a cappella by Daphne, Thea and Phoebe:

Followed by the main act, at three minutes long, performed to a catchy dance tune the children turned on by shouting commands at the home smart system.

The commentary in the background is mostly my mom, who was very much enjoying her family visit. You can hear me replying briefly once or twice. The sound of my own voice distracts me a little bit when I rewatch this. I don’t hear myself recorded very often – where did I get that weird drawl? I guess I’ve always had it?

It was a great birthday welcome and a great start to the visit. More on Boston coming up!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Arriving in Boston

I am finally posting about my trip to Boston last month. Actually it was before last month – it was back in late August when I flew out there. I am so glad I got to go and see Emily and family, and especially to meet Callista while a newborn. They don’t stay newborns very long!

My flight out was fine, but stressful. It looks so peaceful in the picture. It’s amazing that we can fly through the beautiful sky.

But it was hard on my nerves. I was so happy to finally arrive!

I was astounded to discover the Boston airport at peak capacity at midnight on a Wednesday. It was thronged! Who would have guessed? It was so jam packed at arrivals that the traffic did not move for 20 minutes. Even the busses were stuck. All these cars had long since finished picking up their passengers, and were just waiting, going nowhere. It was insanely loud and echoing.

Eventually the bus drivers got frustrated and started leaning on their horns. It didn’t do any good, because the hold-up wasn’t local; the gridlock started quite a distance further up. The entire airport was at a standstill. It was already extremely loud, and then when the busses started honking, I didn’t know how I was going to keep my sanity!

Meanwhile Bryan wasn’t able to get in because of the gridlock. He suggested we meet in departures instead of arrivals, because no one would be departing at midnight. I was dubious. You can do that? Apparently the road was open for him in that direction.

I was exhausted and didn’t know how to get to departures and didn’t want to get lost. And I had (as usual) FAR TOO MUCH LUGGAGE. (I really need to do something about my tendency to pack to heavy. I didn’t used to be that way.) Anyway, I followed his instructions and managed to drag myself and all my luggage to the departures drop off area, and it worked like a charm. We were out of there moments later. Who knew!

When I was talking with him on the drive back from the airport, Bryan theorized that what was causing me so much stress was the noise at the airport and on the plane. He recommended getting a decent noise cancelling headset. John had said something similar to me recently and had explained that listening to music with my little earbuds was not going to be as effective as a big, earmuff style headset. I was resistant to the idea of adding yet another big, bulky item to the already ridiculous amount of stuff I bring on the plane. But before my flight home I did just that – I ordered a noise cancelling headset for the return flight. And for wherever I go next!

Everyone was asleep by the time Bryan and I made it back, but the next morning – family!! This is Sharon, my (and Emily’s) mom, in the center. Then from the left, Phoebe and Thea, with Daphne on Mom’s right.

One of the first things I did was help Emily pull poison ivy. There’s poison ivy amongst the groundcover in the kid’s play area out back. I volunteered because I’m not usually sensitive to poison oak so I figured I wouldn’t be very sensitive to poison ivy either (even though it is a different plant). I got a rash, but barely, just a tiny, tiny bit on one of my wrists where the glove wasn’t long enough.

Emily is understandably reluctant to use round-up or other herbicides in her kid’s play area, but I think she’s going to have to. It’s impossible to get all the roots otherwise. Poison ivy puts out long, long runners underground and you can’t get it all by hand.

They have a huge, beautiful backyard with an expansive amount of grass, large patio area, another huge paved area for vehicles, a several-car sized detached garage, a giant above-ground pool, and this woodsy area with multiple play sets. It’s like they have their own park!

The houses in this next picture are the neighbors behind them on a different street. Those houses are newer and have almost no property. Emily is always happy to let the neighbor kids play in her yard.

They also have a huge side yard. That’s a portion of their detached garage on the right.

Looks like I didn’t take any good photos of the kids in their pool on this trip, but here’s a photo Emily sent me from another time. It’s the biggest above-ground pool I’ve ever seen.

Here’s a picture of the front of their house. You can see the new addition there on the right, on the top floor. Now they have enough bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs for everyone, so Emily and Bryan don’t have young children on a different floor as them at night.

They’ve worked very hard and their house is turning out to be an amazing space.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Random pictures

Here’s some cool pictures that I don’t have enough to say about to make a full blog post about each one.

Laura and Alex’s cat, Caden:

Laura (left) and Sarah (right) at Meta Classic Campus, where Alex was able to get them visitor passes and give them a tour (he works there).

Sarah is Laura’s sister from a previous relationship of mine (Rob’s daughter, for those of you who remember that far back). Sarah’s doing well, still in Olympia, married, and works as a caregiver. She came out to California to see Laura and then they flew to Hawaii together.

Here’s the awesome timeshare in Hawaii that Laura’s dad procured for her. David somehow got the entire top floor of that building (2 beds, 2 baths, full kitchen, wrap around porch, etc.) for them for “free” with points. I need to find out what points program he is on!!

Here’s Laura in the resort’s pool:

Views from the timeshare (excuse the poor photo quality, they’re screenshots from a video she sent me)

Looks like it was a great trip! Laura was very happy to see Sarah.

Meanwhile, back in Tucson, here’s a random cactus in my front yard:

A great picture John took recently of an owl on the neighbor’s house:

Here’s some dorky Arizona tourists trying to take a selfie at a resort in Tucson – oh wait – we live in Tucson now so we’re not really tourists. Well, the rest of that would be correct. Hey dude, take off the sunglasses!

The third, and definitely best looking, member of the family:

Oh, and a statue of a javelina riding a tandem bicycle. No, I don’t know why.

Probably because Tucson is known for its bike trails and its javelinas? So put them together and that’s what you’ve got! But like, shouldn’t there be another javelina on that tandem?

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

It always comes back to Utah

Next stop, Utah! Because we were coming down from Twin Falls, and now live in Tucson rather than Albuquerque, some of our usual Utah destinations were fairly far out of our way. We decided to look for a new spot where we’ve never stayed before.

John suggested a region, the Red Canyon area off Highway 12, south of Panguitch. I opened the maps app, toggled to satellite view, and started looking for a promising spot. I could see trailheads along a clear north-south demarkation line where the red rock formations started.

I zoomed in and started panning around, looking for somewhere we could potentially camp. How about that “Camp Lp” just north of the Arches and Losee Canyon trailheads?

It’s always a real bonus to have trailheads within walking distance of our site, because then we can hike whenever we want without breaking camp, packing up the van, and potentially losing our camping spot. I prefer real trails to just scrambling around, because when John and I start rock scrambling, it always gets steeper than I like. I prefer to mindlessly follow a trail, it’s very meditative. Scrambling can be interesting, but sometimes bordering on terrifying – definitely not meditative.

Wow, that little spur road called Camp Loop was better than I had even imagined.

Here’s John bringing rocks to drive up on to level the van. I’m always telling him, “Don’t hurt your back!” Use smaller rocks for pete’s sake! He’s strong but I’m afraid he’s going to compress his spine or something. We aren’t young anymore!

Ok that’s more reasonable.

Ta-da! The perfect camping spot.

Over the course of a couple of days we took several hikes. John found a cave (he loves caves).

Guess what was in the cave? A geocatch!

He didn’t write in the logbook – I guess because he wasn’t looking for it. I figured it still counted!

We took a ton of photos, so I’m just going to post a bunch more without any commentary. They pretty much speak for themselves!

Yeah, that was a ridiculous number of pictures, I know! We just couldn’t stop taking them, it was all so very beautiful.

If you’re one of my readers who signed up to get this blog by email, it’s likely your email provider did not include all the pictures. You can see them all here.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

Our final day in Idaho

On the walk back from kayaking, we ran into Biska’s doggie friends; two standard poodle mixes (doodles of some sort) at a neighboring cabin. Biska loves other dogs more than anything else in life, so we let them run around together for a few minutes. It was a very rural area, without much traffic on those back gravel roads.

The only issue was some sort of awful burrowing seed, like cheatgrass but in a corkscrew shape that twisted itself into the dogs. The poodles were in much worse shape than Biska, with their thick curly fur. But even with Biska’s straight fur, we still had to carefully remove all the seeds each time before she came inside.

We were due to leave our Idaho cabin the next morning. What should we do for our final afternoon? We had hiked! And we had kayaked! The forecast was yet again calling for afternoon thunderstorms. What was the point of sticking around until morning, just sit inside for another rainy afternoon? Plus, the bed was super small. It was supposedly a queen size but I think it was just a double. We would be just as comfortable in our van.

Plus, if we waited to leave until morning we’d hit Salt Lake City at rush hour on a Thursday afternoon (which is worse than Fridays nowadays). We’d get in late at our campground that night. For that matter, why were we even planning to stay at a campground? Maybe we should just leave early and wing it!

John remembered a pleasant-enough county park with RV camping outside Twin Falls. If we left now instead of waiting until morning, we could get there by evening and have a big jump start on the following day. We could breeze through Salt Lake before rush hour and have time to find a private boondoggle site (an at-large spot where it’s ok to camp) instead of staying at the campground we had reserved.

We loaded up, texted the airbnb host that we had a nice time but were leaving early, and headed out into the approaching rain.

Here we are at the county park the next morning.

Next stop – Utah! Where we were looking at – more afternoon thunderstorms.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

Lake Cabin Kayaking

We were excited to discover a tandem kayak we could borrow in the cabin basement.

For some reason, it was twice as heavy as ours at home, even though it was the same size as our tandem kayak. It must have been made of older materials.

Luckily there was also a kayak cart with it. But it was still a heavy haul to the water. It didn’t help that we didn’t scope our route ahead of time. Sometimes John is overly optimistic, imagining the world to be the way he wants it to be. And he never acts unsure. So I never know when to say, “Uh wait, do you know what you’re getting into?” Also if it doesn’t work out, it usually doesn’t bother him too much. He just powers through unexpected obstacles, even if it’s harder and takes longer than he had hoped.

I think my lack of stamina and history of migraines makes me more cautious about being sure I know what I’m getting into. (Except that crazy road going to that campground with the kids. I definitely failed to adequately query my brother about that road, lol.) Sometimes you just have to trust that life is going to work out.

Too steep, can’t get the kayak down that way.

Too steep here too. It’s perfect on the other side of the water.

Sure enough, we ended up having to haul it back out to the road, down to the cross street, around the corner, and across the pedestrian bridge to the other side.

Ah, we made it! It’s Biska’s first time on a kayak. She’s having a good time.

As usual, the afternoon clouds were building.

But we still had some time, and it was warm and beautiful.

No wind yet, the water was smooth.

I also spent some time relaxing while John rowed.

Time to head back! Just a few fluffy white clouds in one direction, but steel gray the other way.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

Northern Idaho hike on our anniversary

The next morning was our anniversary and we decided to spend it going on a hike. At first we checked out the recommendation from our airbnb hosts; they advised taking the trails that started from a nearby resort. We drove over there but did not find any trails that seemed like a “real” hike.

So we headed further north for about an hour, and deeper into the mountains. The next trailhead wasn’t actually what we were looking for, but we were anxious to start hiking. A group of people were unloading and John didn’t want to be caught behind them, but meanwhile I wanted to go back to the van for something I forgot (I’m always deciding I want a different pair of glasses or a different hat, or I forgot my walking stick or some darn thing.)

Then we made the mistake of letting Biska off leash with too many people nearby. To our surprise, Biska dashed back down the way we had come and started barking at the people behind us! She never does that. John had her leash and was fairly far up the trail in front of us, while I was running back down the trail trying to grab her by the collar and apologize to the people.

Well, you can see where this is going. We ended up having an argument on the trail on our anniversary! About why we were on a steep, crowded trail when I had specifically not wanted a trail that started off going downhill, and why we let Biska off leash with people around, and why we were in such a big rush and failing to communicate. This whole vacation was having its challenging moments!

We decided to try another trail just a little bit further up the road. We hiked out, got back in the van, drove another few miles and tried the next trailhead.

Whew, third try was the charm. That trail was great and we were the only people on it. It was a beautiful trail.

If you’re wondering why we were the only people on such a beautiful trail while the other one was crowded, it’s because the other one went down to a waterfall. People are total suckers for promised waterfalls. But I grew up in the Pacific NW where spectacular waterfalls are a dime a dozen. John and I are out for the hike itself and not a shrug-worthy destination a mile down a crowded trail.

But by then it was later than we meant to get started, and we knew we were running the risk of being caught by afternoon thunderstorms.

When we got to this river, John didn’t trust Biska to walk across the log. She’s certainly agile enough, but she can be fearless and reckless and has no concept of fast running water. He was afraid she’d jump in and get swept off her feet.

Once I got out on the log, I turned around, looked back at the view and realized the storm behind us was closer than I thought. I decided we needed to turn around.

That almost looks blue in the upper right hand corner of this next picture, but it was a deep gray.

So John carried Biska back across again and we started out, heading toward the storm.

We weren’t so worried about the approaching storm that I couldn’t stop to snap a flower shot or two.

And Biska got plenty of opportunities to sniff around off-trail.

I really love that guy, even though we do argue occasionally.

And we made it to the van before the rain started.

It was a good anniversary hike after all.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

The cabin in the woods

After Callan and Chirstina and I got back from our rained out camping trip with the crazy road, we chilled at their house for the rest of the day. The kids were exhausted after their punctured tire ordeal. I heated up something quick for dinner. Chirstina is a good cook and had been doing most of the cooking, so I was happy to chip in. Mainly I was happy we were all home safely.

We hung out and recuperated from our adventure. The kids play a cooperative computer game together that sounded interesting. When they play, they are each at their own computer and each have their own avatar, but they are in the same game together. They work together to overcome the challenges encountered in the game. It seemed like a bonding mutual hobby.

We all took it easy the next day too, just playing some cards and going on a walk. Chirstina did a little bit of green chili roasting and cooking baking too. Yum yum!

On Sunday morning John flew to Boise from Tucson. He helped the kids with some handyman household fix-it items on Sunday afternoon. John is by far the most handy person in my entire extended family. So he is always welcome to visit anytime!

On Monday morning John and I and Biska headed up north to the cabin we had rented for our anniversary. It did indeed look like the pictures on the website.

The downstairs section in the back wasn’t very useful space – you couldn’t get to it from inside the main part of the cabin. You had to go outside and around to get to it. There were just a couple of bunks and an old couch down there – probably perfect for teenagers. It wasn’t much use to us, but we were happy to discover a kayak down there.

Here’s the inside of the main part of the cabin on the upper floor.

There was a small kitchenette too, in that same room, along the left wall next to the front door. The upstairs was a small but perfectly functioning studio unit. It would not have been a good layout for more than one couple, but it was fine for us. And very private in a pretty area.

Biska prefers to be outside in the nice weather, but rain was coming.

We always remove decorative pillows and put sheets down so Biska doesn’t get dog hair on everything.

We got unloaded and settled in just in time for the rain.

It was definitely quite wet. But we were snug in the cabin.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

A quick catch-up post

I’ve been doing a lot of traveling and am now several blog posts behind. For those of you who are texting me wondering where I am, what’s going on, and why I’m not answering my texts, it’s because my life lately has been like: drive all day, be somewhere for 3 days, drive all day, home for 3 days (laundry and clients!), drive all day, be somewhere for 3 days, drive all day…except next week I fly all day (worse!).

Tracey, after asking where I was, says, “Wow! Trying to hit every state?!!” No, just Nevada, Idaho, Utah, Arizona (of course), New Mexico, back to Arizona and then Massachusetts. I won’t count all the states I have to fly over to get to Boston next week. Maybe I’ll have time to catch up on this blog once I get to Boston. Hahaha, oh my, with 4 little ones in the house that is unlikely.

Speaking of:

There’s my motivation to get on that plane to Boston! But I’m getting ahead of myself. I haven’t told you yet about the rest of Idaho, Utah and New Mexico.

Before I post about the rest of the Idaho trip, I did want to answer some follow-up questions some of you sent about my last post about van trips and scary roads. When John and I are traveling together, we have occasionally gotten ourselves out on a road we really shouldn’t be on in that big van. By the time the road has truly degenerated enough that we don’t want to be on it, any turn-around options are generally long gone. In those rare occasions, I get out and guide John as he backs the van out. Short distances aren’t too hard, but once or twice we’ve had to back out fairly far before it’s wide enough to turn around.

It’s much easier when there is a second person to walk outside and direct. It can get tricky with twists and turns and big boulders and ruts (not to mention sheer drop offs). In order to have backed out on that road in Idaho, I would have wanted to have one of the kids walking ahead (behind me in the direction I was backing) to make sure I was staying far enough away from the cliff.

But we didn’t have any cell tower and I couldn’t signal them to stop. The kids were periodically waiting for me, but the problem was, they would start going again every time they got a glimpse in their rearview mirror that I was still back there. The road was so twisty that the moment they saw me appear around a corner, they disappeared around the next corner and could no longer could see me.

If I had stopped, I suppose they would have eventually figured out the van was no longer following them, but I did not want to put them in the position of having to turn around and look for me. I could just imagine them sitting and waiting a few curves in front of where I had stopped wondering what to do next. I guess I could have abandoned the van (on a twisty, one-lane, washed-out dirt road with nowhere to pull over and a sheer drop to the reservoir far, far below) and started walking in their direction.

But even if I did manage to get the kids to stop and help me reverse that van off that mountain, it would have taken at least a couple of hours, and it definitely would have ruined the camping trip. It didn’t sound like a fun option. So I just kept telling myself, hey, both my kids and my brother had been out there before, surely it was fine. I could ignore my fear of heights and sheer cliff edges. Irrational fears are irrational, right? But I am for damn sure not doing that road again.

Next up, some great pictures of Idaho, some fantastic pictures of Utah, and two more trips after that – stay tuned.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism

Way too much adventure

The plan was for me to work on Wednesday, and then Callan, Chirstina and I would leave to go camping Thursday morning. The campground wasn’t very far away, so we took our time getting packed up, and left around noon. Callan and Chirstina took the lead in their Nissan Sentra, and Biska and I followed in my camper van.

As we neared the turnoff to the mountain road, I casually took this photo out my car window for John. We’re always on the lookout for marinas now that he’s brought our sailboat home from Florida. This particular lake is only about half an hour from where Callan and Chirstina live. Notice the nice, wide, paved road, with the beautifully reassuring cement divider being used as a guardrail. But it’s a trap! A devious trap!

Remember back when Steven went to visit Callan and Chirstina and they went to a beautiful campground? And Steven sent that 3-part blog entry for me to post? Do you remember when he mentioned a difficult road? He said, “The route soon became a winding dirt road along the side of the mountains – the sort that has two way traffic but is only one lane wide in many places, requiring some negotiation and maneuvering when there is another vehicle.  Fortunately the speed limit was only 25 mph, and Chirstina had quick reflexes so we made it there safely.

Well, that comment did not adequately register in my brain. Partly because our whole family has a dry sense of humor. “Chirstina had quick reflexes so we made it safely” Hahaha, whatever, right?

OMG. OMG. OMG.

The road started out flat and wide. The washboarding was annoying, and I took it slowly. My van is full of stuff; a microwave, an air conditioner, a sink, a toilet, everything was shaking and banging. The kids were ahead of me and they kept having to stop to let me catch up.

After passing the main marina, we also passed a couple of smaller boat launches. It was a beautiful drive. Then the road started climbing. It got twisty and narrower and narrower. The drop off became sheer, with no trees or bushes or guardrails along the edge. It was a straight drop to the reservoir far below.

The road became alarming by degrees, so by the time I realized I really shouldn’t be out there, I couldn’t turn the van around. I’m also not skilled enough to back it down such a twisty, narrow track. I would have backed it right off the cliff.

Occasionally a car would approach from the other direction, and the road was so narrow that we would each have to come to a stop and pull over as far as possible and ease past each other. Often, one car would have to back up to find a wide enough section of road to let the oncoming car go by.

We were on the outside edge, with the reservoir to our right. Sometimes I had only a few inches between my tires and the cliff edge. My mind was screaming at me to stop, but then what do I do? Abandon the van, block the road, and walk home? I didn’t know what to do other than try to continue onward.

I tried to tell myself that I just have issues with anxiety and a fear of heights and everything was actually fine. I mean, there were other people out there. And the kids had done the road before. We were going the same place my brother had gone earlier this summer. Surely it was ok? But it wasn’t fine. Even the logical, reasonable, thinking part of my brain knew it was dangerous.

I was petrified. And the road kept going and going. It took well over an hour, creeping along at 10 mph. Sometimes I would stop in a wide spot and let a car creep past me. I would watch them continue on, and couldn’t believe how close to the edge they drove.

It was just a sandy bluff. It could be badly undercut. In fact, there were regular ruts where water had washed across the road, cutting divots into the side of the road as the water tumbled off the cliff, further narrowing a road that was already only a single-lane track.

I wish I had pictures for you, but obviously, I was too busy driving. And trying to remember to breathe. And trying not to panic. I told myself not to cry because it would impair my vision, and I was focused hard on every rock, dip and jog in the road. One mistake and we would be on the bottom of the reservoir.

I remember one time in particular I encountered an oncoming smaller van, being driven by a couple of young guys. They stopped and I was supposed to swing out around them onto a tiny, tiny wide spot hovering over the reservoir. I knew couldn’t do it. I stared at the guys, and stared at the miniature overhang. I shook my head and put my van into reverse. I eased backwards, aiming at an oblique angle back toward the embankment. I figured if I backed the side of the van into the mountain and just stopped, they could go around me. Sure enough, the guys gave me a friendly wave and pulled out to the edge to go around me.

After they were gone, I sat there for a minute, pulled tight to the left edge of the single-lane track. I knew I needed to put the van back into drive and go forward, out toward that cliff edge. I wondered if I could go on. Eventually I put it into gear and crept forward.

As we passed the upper dam the road widened a bit. Now we were following a river and there was ground on both sides of the road. Solid ground. Lovely, wonderful, ground on both sides of the van.

We had made it, and we were alive. I was still sane, but completely trashed. The first campground looked great to me, but the kids kept driving. Intermittently they would wait for me, until they could see me behind them, and then they would drive onward.

Soon they stopped at the second campground. It was small, empty, and beautiful. We parked, and got out. We’re here, finally we made it! Apparently the kids had an argument on the way out and were still in surly moods. How could they have possibly navigated that insane road while arguing? It’s a wonder they didn’t end up in the lake. It was all too much for me.

We set up camp and Biska played along the river. It was idyllic for about an hour.

Then the afternoon clouds started building. At first we didn’t think anything of it.

Afternoon thunderstorms are common and Chirstina assured me that if it did rain, it would only be for a few minutes. We readied our site for a brief thunderstorm.

We got a rain shower with a little bit of wind and thunder, and we thought we had seen it all.

After the rain passed, the kids made a fire and roasted marshmallows in a light sprinkling of rain. I roasted one or two but my heart wasn’t into it. I was pretty sure we had a lot more rain to come and I was worried about the road out. I was already dreading the drive back.

As it got dark, the rain picked up. There was nothing to do but crawl into bed and listen to the steady rain. It rained a long time. The kids were fine in their enormous tent, and Biska and I were dry in the van. But I was frightened, with visions of a slippery, treacherous washed-out road. That nightmare of a road was the only way out. I tried to calm my mind and just wait to see what the morning would bring.

First thing in the morning I set my Starlink back up, and tried again to get enough satellite connection to get a weather update. I had been able to use my Starlink to bring in text messages the night before, and get a brief text out to John, but we did not have internet for more than a moment at a time, every half-hour or so. We had been unable to download a decent weather update. In the morning I had even less luck. I was not even able to get texts in and out.

It was still cloudy and we thought it could rain all day. Chirstina didn’t want to camp in the rain and I was worried about the road. We decided to head home.

I was ready to leave when the kids were still finishing up getting packed and loaded. We decided I should go ahead and get a head start. On the way in they kept having to stop and wait for me. We thought that if I went ahead, they would catch up.

I pulled out on the road, grimly humming to myself for courage. I hoped it would turn out to not be that bad after all. I thought it would be easier going out because the embankment was to my right, so I could just stay far right and hug the mountain. But the reality of a one-lane track meant that I was every bit as close to the edge on the way out as on the way in.

As I slowly and carefully eased my way around the worsening curves, I started worrying about the kids, who were nowhere to be seen. I passed the upper dam, and was once again suspended on a tiny dirt track far above the reservoir. What had seemed like a logical decision at the campsite now struck me as incredibly thoughtless. Why did I leave without them? What if something is wrong? Is their battery dead? Is there some sort of trouble? How could I have just left them there?

Of course they’re adults. They’re not even young adults, they are well into their 30’s and they’d been out there before. They’re fine, I kept telling myself, they’re fine. They were just driving nice and slow on the way out.

But I continued to berate myself. I should have waited for them. What if something was wrong? What if they lost traction in the damp sand and slid off the narrow track into the water below? Where were they?!? I considered stopping midway to wait, but it wouldn’t do anyone any good for me to just be sitting there in middle of the road, blocking the road. And I didn’t have enough room to turn around and go back. So I continued on.

It took me an hour and a half to make it out to the paved road. At that point, there still wasn’t any cell reception. I again considered waiting for the kids, but did not see how that would help any. I also considered going back in. But what if I encountered them heading out, as I headed in? What good would that do? Since I couldn’t turn around, I’d have to inch past them and continue onward all the way to the campground, turn around and drive another hour and a half out again. It didn’t make sense.

But what if their car didn’t start and they couldn’t summon help? I knew their roommate had a 4-wheel drive vehicle more suited to that road than my van, so I thought about borrowing it to go back in to look for them if the kids failed to appear.

Once I got far enough out to have cell tower, I sent a quick message – “Text me when you can, I’m worried.” I tried hard not to imagine they were at the bottom of the reservoir. Surely there was a more mundane reason for their delay.

When I got to their house, their roommate was away and the house was locked. The gate to the backyard was unlocked so I got Biska and I situated there. After unloading a few things from the van into the backyard, I checked my phone and saw two missed calls, one minute apart, both with the caller ID of “IDAHO STATE GOV”.

My heart nearly stopped. My kids were missing on a death-trap of a road, and the state was calling me. That can’t be good. In fact, that was very, very bad. I stopped breathing. I could barely make my hands function to hit the buttons to listen to the voicemail.

It was Chirstina’s voice, saying something about a tire. I couldn’t process what she was saying, but she sounded calm, so at least no one was dead. I called the number and someone went to find Callan and Chirstina so I could talk to them.

Turns out they had discovered a large screw embedded in their tire.

Plus, look at that tire. It’s as bald as shit. They were on the worst road in Idaho on tires like that?

They couldn’t change the tire at the campground because their spare tire was flat and they had no jack. And no cell phone reception to call for help. The tire was still holding air, so after some deliberation, they decided to go ahead and drive off the mountain, but they took it extra slowly going down. They stopped to call AAA as soon as they reached the state park marina, which had a land line.

Now they have a couple of new tires and all is well. But we were all completely stressed out for the rest of the day. I emailed Steven and said, “Agh! I had no idea how scary that road to that campground is! I followed them out there in my van and thought I was going to die! Then we got rained out. Everything is ok now and I guess I have a good story for my blog.” And he replied, “I tried to warn you about the road…”

The next day, when the relief of being NOT DEAD wore off, I was actually disappointed that we didn’t get a chance to enjoy the camping trip. I do really love camping. But that was certainly the worse road I’ve ever been on.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism