A little while ago I discovered that many people can’t play the videos in my posts. I don’t know why not, but I’d like to fix the issue. Here’s a couple of test videos, uploaded it slightly differently.
Can you play the first one, the second one, or neither one of them?
Video #1: Puppy in the rain (public, embedded)
Video #2: Puppy in the rain (public, youtube)
Here’s another video, this one with the settings somewhat different.
Video #3: Playing ball at sunset (unlisted, embedded)
Video #4: Playing ball at sunset (unlisted, youtube)
If you are able to play these videos and have the sound on and listen very closely you might be able to hear the coyotes in the background (plus some local domestic dogs joining in). Biska was oblivious, content to simply chase her ball. Until it went into the pool, lol.
Thanks for being my test audience! If you get my posts in your email, and can’t see any of the videos, you should be able to see them directly on my website, https://turning51.com/
When I was searching online for a puppy last summer, I was looking for a poodle because poodles don’t shed. Rescued poodle mixes sometimes shed, depending on which fur genes they inherit. When I first saw Biska I suspected she would shed because she had a straight coat rather than a curly coat. But I was hoping her poodle genes would count for something. Plus, she was so darn cute!
Her fur did actually have a slight kink to it, which was a hopeful sign. I knew it was just her puppy coat and her adult coat would grow in differently. It remained to be seen whether she would turn out to be a big shedder, a light shedder, or a non-shedder. I didn’t think she was curly enough to be a non-shedder, so I’ve been hoping for a low-shedder. Generally a poodle mix would at least shed less than a regularly shedding dog.
For a long time it seemed like she didn’t shed much. Until 2 weeks ago. Suddenly there’s dog hair everywhere! EVERYWHERE! So the million dollar question is: Is she just losing her puppy coat? Now is the age to do it. Her puppy coat should be falling out and she should be growing her adult fur – and then we will see whether her adult fur will be shedding or not.
It’s possible she’s already grown in her adult fur, in which case is this could be spring shedding. Is it going to be like this every spring? Or is this her new normal and she’s going to be like this year-round?! Heaven forbid. Whatever’s going on I hope it’s not like this continually forever. I love this dog, but her mom’s a poodle and I was hoping for some low-shedding!
She is growing up to be super cute, but not looking very much like a poodle!
The only place she has poodle fur is two tufts behind her ears!
Regardless of whether this is just her puppy coat coming out or annual spring shedding, I’m hoping for some improvement soon. Just tell me this is not the year-round new normal!
Meanwhile, it’s allergy season! I don’t know why people think the desert is a good place to go to alleviate allergies. It’s true there’s less mold and mildew here than in most parts of the country. But there’s not less pollen.
This is a tree in my backyard. I think it’s native. It’s some sort of desert willow.
Yep, that’s pollen you see coating the ground in yellow.
Between dog fur and pollen, now is not the best time to visit me in Tucson if you’re prone to hay fever! The weather, however, has been fantastic.
We were in Albuquerque a couple of weeks ago. It was so cold!
One morning we went to the Biopark and discovered this beautiful icy landscape in the Japanese garden. They had apparently left the sprinklers on overnight! It was just in this one section. We assumed it was a mistake or a broken control. It must have been somewhat difficult to fix, because the sprinklers were still going when we got there mid-morning. It was very beautiful. In a major oops sort of way.
Going back and forth between Albuquerque and Tucson in the middle of the winter is very confusing for the part of my brain that tracks what season it is! Particularly when below-freezing sprinkler action is added to the mix. Meanwhile, it’s 75 degrees in Tucson and I have a new Meyer lemon tree!
It’s like I have two lives. I’ll wake up some mornings, not knowing where I am, and I’ll be like, which life am I in today?
You know how, every once in awhile, you come across a book that you are so completely convinced that everyone in your life needs to read, that everyone gets the book for Christmas?
Except it’s February. And most of my family’s birthdays are in January (due to poor planning, I guess). Neither Christmas nor birthdays are going to come around anytime soon. I guess I’ll just have to send my family copies of the book now. And then in December I can send Christmas cards that say, “You know that book I sent you in February that you still haven’t read yet? Well, read it now, and Merry Christmas!” It will all work out perfectly. Lol. I’m joking! I won’t really do that. Or not exactly.
The book is Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, by Atul Gawande. It was written back in 2014 so it’s currently free on Kindle Unlimited if you subscribe to that, otherwise it’s available used. Unless I send it to you. In that case it’s available free on your front porch in an Amazon box.
I recommend it for anyone who is not so young anymore, or who has aging parents. Much of the book would also be useful for anyone has a family member who is, due to cancer or other illness, reasonably likely to have a period of time where a lot of physical care is needed.
The author starts out by talking about the process of aging and how lots of things just start slowly wearing down and falling apart. It’s often not just one serious thing that kills us. It’s a complicated intermix of things. He offers some very practical advice regarding paying attention to things like balance and core strength, and foot and ankle health, because rounds of hospitalizations often start with trips and falls.
He talks about how doctors really aren’t trained for elderly care – they are trained to cure acute illnesses. And how our system isn’t ideal for long term care. This is not news, but he does a good job of discussing the various alternatives that we do have.
He talks about the different types of living situations available for people who are starting to struggle to live on their own. He gives the history of how that has changed in our country over the past few decades, and why. He explains the large differences between nursing homes vs. other more independent options, and what attributes make a big difference for the inhabitants to truly feel “at home”. Turns out it’s not as simple as I thought.
Turns out the key that helps people feel at home isn’t necessarily having their own place. The key is being able to do what they want when they want, and to make their own decisions – even when their decisions are bad ones. That’s part of being an adult – eating those donuts when we know we shouldn’t!
He also explains how grown children of the elderly are motivated to keep their parents safe – when safety isn’t necessarily as big of a priority for the elderly. It really helped me see the situation more from the elderly’s point of view, and not just from the point of view of the elderly parent’s grown children.
Then he switches away from logistics and living situations and talks for some time about making medical decisions. I used to naively think that when you got sick, the doctor had a treatment plan and that’s what you did.
I have since discovered on my cancer journey that there is never just one clear treatment and never one clear choice. It’s not always clear when one should have chemotherapy. And even if it is fairly clearly called for, there are dozens of different kinds of chemo and dozens of combinations of chemo for varying lengths of time.
It’s a maze of choices and doctors can’t always know what is best for each patient. Some doctors make most of the choices themselves and tell their patients what their “best” option is. When I was pregnant with Laura and they decided to induce labor early, I was not given any options or any way to be part of the decision-making. In hindsight I now know enough to realize that there were other options and there was plenty of time to have that discussion. It was a serious situation but not an emergency situation.
Other doctors offer lists and lists of choices and pros and cons and leave it up to the bewildered patient. The best doctors listen to their patients to understand the patient’s goals and values and then give relevant information and guidance, based on that specific person’s goals and values. Surgeons and oncologists as life coaches.
In my opinion, this section of the book was the most valuable at all. It explains how to have those important conversations with the doctors – what to ask and what about your preferences they need to understand. I can’t understate how difficult it is to decide what to do when suddenly faced with multiple treatment options, especially when your life is on the line.
It gets especially complicated when people are close to dying. We go to the hospital to be cured, but at some point, especially for the elderly and in cases like advanced cancer, there becomes a time when – there just isn’t a cure. At that point you will probably want to shift away from trying to cure the disease to trying to live the best you can in the short time you have left. These are very different goals and can result in a complete U-turn in your decision-making. And of course the patient and their family members aren’t all making that U-turn in unison. Because how do you know when you are at that point?
The final section of the book talked about what it’s like to be in hospice. This was very sad and I cried some, but it was also fascinating. I’ve never seen someone die. And yet, we will all die and we also will lose our parents and our spouses (if we don’t die first ourselves). I’m glad I now know much more about it than I did. It’s not a fun topic, but I feel at least a tiny bit more prepared. And I’m grateful for that.
We had a low-key, very nice Valentine’s Day yesterday. We got each other a few little things and took the morning off and went to the botanical garden. The weather was lovely and I felt very lucky.
There were three cards because one was “from the dog,” lol.
The most beautiful butterfly there was actually a moth.
I wouldn’t mind having that tree in my yard.
And the requisite cactus pic. It is, after all, Arizona.
If you’ve heard of the Bumble app at all, you probably think of it as a dating app. But it turns out, dating is only one of the three modules.
“BFF” stands for Best Friends Forever. A little over the top, sure, but whatever.
Once I heard that Bumble had a friends mode, I figured I had to try it. For one thing, I have found friends online before. A long-time friend of mine in Albuquerque and I met on a website designed to link people up to exercise together. We started out hiking the in the foothills of Albuquerque we’ve been friends ever since! (Yep, that’s you, Clarice ❤️)
I have a lot of friends in Albuquerque, but not many in Tucson. I’m amazed I have any at all. Usually I meet friends at work. But I’m not working as an environmental scientist anymore. I’m only working from home over the phone. I don’t even have coworkers at all, not even in little zoom squares on the screen. I only have clients.
Another good place to meet friends is special-interest groups like church or art classes or the local gym. Enter – pandemic. Everything has been shut down since we moved to Tucson. We did go to those painting classes for awhile, but I would get so focused on my painting (it was quite challenging!) that I would forget to talk to the people around me. Plus, it was different people each time. For me it takes more than that to make friends.
I also joined a couple of book clubs for awhile, but they were all online (pandemic) and they were all old ladies and they were reading books I didn’t want to read, bla, bla, bla, excuses, excuses. I just didn’t enjoy the book clubs.
Plus, special interest groups are a slow and indirect way of making friends. It’s just so random. I am a practical, pragmatic, goal-oriented and somewhat impatient person and I wanted something more direct. I didn’t want to mess around listening to people say dumb things about books I never wanted to read to start with, on the off chance that I might end up befriending one of them. I wanted to get down to the business of making friends more directly! For starters, it made sense to find people who were also trying to make friends, rather than simply hoping for the best.
It’s so weird in that it’s almost exactly like dating. First we meet for coffee/tea, then if that goes well, we schedule lunch or a hike or other outing. On one of my “friend dates” I met one of my new friends at the botanical garden. We both loved the butterfly enclosure.
We wondered about the caps on top of the cactus.
I’m guessing it’s to help prevent frost damage. We do get occasional freezing temperatures at night in the middle of the winter here.
At some point my two new Bumble friends and I realized that the three of us had independently met each other. We were like, wait, I think I just met her too! It seemed like a big coincidence, but the reality is, there’s probably not all that many women in their 50’s looking for friends on Bumble at any given time and location.
So the three of us, Peggy and Amy and I, planned a hike together! And I invited Dawn, my-sister-in-law, who lives here in Tucson in the winter time. I don’t think Dawn knows that I met these “new friends” of mine on Bumble. Well, now she does, right Dawn? 😊
I was all excited about the hike we planned for the four of us. But half an hour before it was time to leave, I was talking to Laura on the phone and I looked down and realized something was wrong with my dog!
Biska’s face was swollen to twice the size. Her eyes were red and bugged out and nearly swollen shut. Her muzzle was all poofed up and she was rubbing it on the floor.
An allergic reaction to something! It’s so hard to know how serious it will be with an allergic reaction. It could go away on its own, or she could go into shock. I grabbed my keys and ran with her to the car, while Laura googled local pet hospitals for me.
The first one, just a couple of blocks away, turned out to be all boarded up – they had gone out of business. The second one, just a block past the first, refused to take us because they weren’t really an emergency vet, just a local vet, even though the term “hospital” was in their name. But they told me where to take her – which was only another couple of blocks away.
I ran up to the building with Biska, rang the bell and waited. A vet technician came out, took a brief look at Biska, decided to bump us to the front of the line, and took Biska in with her. I had to stay outside due to the pandemic policies.
I waited outside for at least an hour, on the phone with Laura and texting my new friends that I was going to miss the hike. They gave Biska an antihistamine shot and a steroid shot, and waited until they were sure she was fine before releasing her. Here’s a picture of her after they released her. Awww, poor baby! But by then the swelling was almost gone.
She had been a total fright when I took her in, but I didn’t stop to take pictures at that point. I had to get her to the vet!
After I got home, I searched the backyard to see if I could figure out what happened. She had vomited twice, so like any good mom, I poked a stick around in it to see what there was to see.
A bee! That’s what there was to see. A bee. And like any good scientist, I bagged it for further research. Actually that was for John’s benefit; I knew he’d want to see it when he got home later in the day. And sure enough, he rinsed it off and inspected it further and declared it to indeed be a bee.
There you have it folks, a dead, $300 bee. And I missed my Bumble-friends hike! (There’s a pun in there somewhere.)
I learned that you can give over-the-counter Benadryl (diphenhydramine) to dogs, 1-2 mg per pound of weight. In the future I’m going to keep some on hand because this dog didn’t learn her lesson. Not two weeks later we caught her trying to eat another live bee! Are you a crazy dog?
Meanwhile, John is curiously watching all this trying-to-make-friends activity of mine. He already made friends with Lee, the old guy across the street with the grapefruit tree, and that’s all he needs. (Bumble and bees, Lee with the grapefruit tree – this is starting to sound like a Dr. Seuss book.)
In addition to providing John with grapefruit, Lee also alerts us whenever we have packages on our porch. It’s unnecessary of course, but nice of him. And I get packages embarrassingly often because I don’t like to get in the car and go to stores. Except groceries – we have gone back to going to grocery stores. But we don’t need to buy grapefruit!
After my last post, some of you were like, “We want to see the flaming toast!”
So ok, yes, you know me, I did actually take a picture of the flaming toast. But not until I had pulled it out of the oven and set it in the sink. By that time the flame was only about an inch tall. It was significantly more impressive when I first opened the oven. But I was busy trying not to burn my kitchen down, so you’ll have to make do with a belated photo of a little itty-bitty flame, and the deep, rich, orange and black glow of cheese toast charcoal.
Had I not burned the crap out of it, it would have been a very nice treat of white cheddar cheese on a quarter of a French roll.
While I’m blogging about culinary catastrophes, I recently made a spinach quiche, but forgot the spinach. I had left the spinach in the microwave. I discovered it after the quiche was done baking.
But darn it, I wanted a spinach quiche. So I cut the cooked quiche into quarters, lifted the top section of each quarter with a metal spatula, inserted my microwaved spinach like cake filling, and replaced the top of the quiche.
It totally worked! In my opinion. I was very pleased with my spinach-filled quiche.
Of course if you don’t want to come next time I invite you for dinner, that’s your loss. Although I don’t actually invite people for dinner. And this is why!
We do encourage people to come stay with us, (Yay, Tucson in the wintertime!) but guests will quickly discover that a certain amount of independence around mealtime will make your stay more pleasant. We happily offer two guest rooms, three bathrooms, a heated swimming pool, and plenty of food in the pantry. After that you’re on your own!
I haven’t been blogging very much recently and I’ve wondered why. Part of it is the usual excuse, “busy”. We had the holidays, and then I had migraines the first couple of weeks of January, then I had an unexpected trip to Albuquerque the second half of January. Now I’m just trying to get unpacked and caught up with everything.
I’m suspicious of “busy” as an excuse though, because I am the sort of person who simply adds things to my to-do list until it is no longer do-able. I just take on more until my time is full. So of course I’m busy; I’m always busy. Whether all those things on my to-do list are very important or not – well, that’s a different question. What’s important? The concept of importance is relative to preset goals and values. What am I trying to accomplish and why? Why am I here? What am I doing in life? What is my purpose?! What is the meaning of life?! Nice, big, distracting and ultimately unanswerable questions.
Maybe I’m just losing interest in blogging. Of course all of you are going to lose interest in this blog too, if there’s no content! That would be a self-fulfilling feedback loop, resulting in the demise of this blog.
What I actually think is happening is…I’ve gotten it into my head that my blog posts need to go up in chronological order. In which case, the next blog should be about a desert camping trip we took shortly after the holidays. But that was awhile ago and I don’t really have much to say about it other than, “We like camping and it’s nice to be able to camp in the desert in the winter.” Plus, there’s tons of pictures and it’s slow and boring getting pictures uploaded onto this blog.
Meanwhile, I’ll be going about my day, and I’ll think of some little current thing to say to you about the snow in Albuquerque or the flaming toast in the oven or about how Biska is losing her puppy coat and shedding all over the place. But then I’ll remember, oh, wait, I need to put that camping blog up first. The camping happened before the snow in Albuquerque. But the camping blog sounds like a big project and I don’t want to take on a big project, I just want to reach out briefly and post a snow picture. Or a burning toast picture. But the snow in Albuquerque and the burning toast happened after the desert camping and somehow that matters!
I think that’s the real reason. All my potential little, easy spur-of-the-moment posts about nothing much at all (Burning Toast!), are piling up behind one big, picture-intensive post that I intend to write but don’t really feel like writing, bringing the whole thing to a halt.
Therefore, in order to get myself blogging again, I need to relax my unexamined rules for myself, and allow myself to just hop on and say whatever I want in that moment, regardless of whether some posts end up in the wrong order. And maybe some of those picture-intensive posts aren’t going to make it up at all.
Biska thinks that’s a good idea.
So here’s to a new era of “Posts In The Wrong Order”!
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