Category: 2017

It’s less than 3 days to Christmas! How many of you are panicking about now? I know I am. Inexplicably, I seem to have a lot of gifts for my son, but next to nothing for anyone else. That took me by surprise, because usually I don’t know what to get him!

Here’s a good, last-minute idea: give to a charity in someone’s name. We do this a lot in our family, and everyone ends up feeling good about it. For example, one time recently Laura gave John a goat. Luckily we didn’t wake up to a goat tied up in the backyard! She gave it to a needy family as a gift to him. It was great because goats are great! (For some reason, John’s into goats and pigs. Must be the latent farmer in him.)

The key to giving to a charity instead of your loved ones, and expecting them to feel happy about it, is to give to a charity that is meaningful to them rather than yourself. That may sound obvious, but it’s not necessarily easy to do. How many of us have families who all agree on politics and religion?

So to give a meaningful gift to charity – and have it actually be appreciated by your family member – you may have to give to a charity you wouldn’t otherwise support.

One favorite charity in our family is http://www.kiva.org/. We like that one for a couple of reasons. First of all, your friend or family member actually gets to choose which micro-loan they want to support, so they are more than just a recipient, they get to be part of the giving process. Secondly, it is a micro-loan instead of a grant, so when the loan is paid off, it can be given all over again. So it becomes an ongoing contribution rather than a one-time gift, and it’s a fun thing to do. That can be done here, https://www.kiva.org/gifts.

Another charity I’d like to plug this season is https://www.lalmba.org/donate/. My friend, Stephanie, is a doctor who is spending a year volunteering in Africa. Lalmba is the organization she is working with. Here’s more information on her blog,  https://oneyearinkenya.blog/2017/12/12/giving/.

And thirdly, I just read a very interesting, in-depth article about Ophelia Dahl, who is the daughter of the famous author, Roald Dahl. She has dedicated her whole life to helping the poor with health care. Here is the article, https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/18/ophelia-dahls-national-health-service. And here is the charity that she founded, https://www.pih.org/.

Partners in Health sounds like it is an excellent charity. In addition to getting top scores from “Charity Navigator”, I also like their philosophy. When they enter an area to provide health care, they are very holistic and practical (such as working to ensure there is safe drinking water as well as providing medical services). And they commit to an area for a long time, so they can make a lasting difference.

Happy giving!

I’m getting some subtle and not-so-subtle feedback at work that I’m “working too hard” or “shouldn’t stress it” and that “things take time”.

I doubt that it’s the actual hard work that’s bothering people. I suspect it’s that when I get goal oriented and task focused, I forget to smile enough. I walk too fast down the hall. I’m too direct. I forget to stop and talk about Christmas cookies.

Apparently I blew off one of my very favorite coworkers yesterday – and I don’t even remember doing it! He says it was like I didn’t even recognize him. I just kept walking. Awww! I’m so sorry. And I’m so glad he said something about it today, so I could try to make it right.

I actually probably didn’t recognize him yesterday. I’m nearsighted, but I can’t see my papers and computer with my glasses on, so I’m constantly walking around with them pushed up on top of my head instead of in front of my eyes, helping me see in the distance. But that’s no excuse. I should be greeting people regardless of whether I immediately realize who they are or not.

To make things worse, there’s a gender bias in our culture where being direct and action-oriented is seen as a strength in a male manager, but not in a woman – people just don’t like it. It feels stressful and unfriendly to them.

So the office wants me to slow down a little. Be softer. Smile more. Laugh things off like it doesn’t matter. Make more eye contact and more chit chat. Sigh. Ok folks, I’ll try.

My group’s got a shit-ton to accomplish and the broken processes I inherited all need revamped, like, yesterday. This group was flat out failing when I started here less than 3 months ago, and we’ve barely begun to get back on track. The work is not getting done!

But fine, it’s Christmas. I’ll talk about cookies and frost on the windshield. And your poor old cat, and your sister’s family. We will take the time to connect.

Because really, it was for you that I went back to work. All of you are why I sent in that application in the first place. It wasn’t about all the work this department was failing to accomplish. I didn’t even know about that. All I knew was that offices are full of people who like to talk about Christmas cookies, and I missed that. And I’ll try not to forget it.

And I also know that in addition to the traffic and the presents to be wrapped and all the usual trials of the season, some of you are also quietly facing bigger things. At least two of you who are close to me have lost parents within the last couple of months. Someone else is facing bankruptcy and other is hiding an impending divorce. Many are struggling to deal with relatives who are hurting and angry about politics and internal family dynamics. And then there’s been all those disasters in the news.

So yep. You’re right. The work will get done eventually. Some of it won’t ever get done. Meanwhile, sometimes that smile can mean a lot.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Here’s some cool pictures of the ornaments on the tree at my church in Placitas.

And a New Mexican nativity scene.

Hey guess what? I put the wrong garage remote into the refrigerator, so who knows, maybe it would have worked after all!

If you’re wondering why in the world a semi-sane person would put a garage door remote into a refrigerator, the story is here. If you’re wondering how I managed to put the wrong one in there, well you know, too many houses can get confusing!!!

Laura and Darren – who grew up in Washington State – will relate, in more ways than one.

By amusing chance, our first day of snow was the same day as the first day of snow for my brother and his family, all the way up north in Ann Arbor, Michigan. They were somewhat dismayed that I appeared poised, down here in the desert southwest, to be a rival in the “extreme winter” contest.

The “extreme winter” contest, by the way, is what people do when they have really lousy weather, in an attempt to keep their spirits up. I think it’s a poor substitute for actual good weather, but you do what you can with what you have.

So yesterday I got this great photo of my sister-in-law, with the caption, “Michigan beats New Mexico”

LOL. And Michigan will continue to beat New Mexico, day in and day out for the rest of the winter. Thank goodness!

And…sleep deprivation sets in. I could just go to bed early. But no. I’ve got Elle King’s, “Ex’s and Oh’s” on tract repeat. (Meaning the same song is playing over and over and over. On purpose.) I hope my neighbor can’t hear or she’s going to be knocking on my door going, WTF? Speaking of knocking on the door, I’m waiting for someone to come knocking on my door about my garage.

It’s haunted. Yep. Haunted. MY GARAGE DOOR IS OPENING AND CLOSING. Yeah. All by itself. Repeatedly.

It was fine this morning. It was a little unusual that I was rummaging around in my garage this morning looking for boxes, for my presents, at 4:30 AM (luckily I have lots of boxes. I’m moving, right? Lots o’boxes).

Anyway, when I left for work at 7 AM, everything seemed ok. When I got back at 6:00 tonight I noticed that a kindly neighbor had moved my garbage can in from the street and put it next to my garage door.

I went inside and set my purse down, intending to go right back out to put the garbage can in the garage. But before I even got back out there, I heard the overhead garage door open. I assumed it was John, although I wasn’t expecting him in Santa Fe today. So I went out there, and couldn’t find him, although the garage overhead door was hanging open and the garage light was on. So I went back inside to look for him, and then I heard the garage door close.

Well, by then I was a little freaked out. It’s pitch dark by 6 PM in December. I’ve been up since 3:30 AM and at work for a lot of hours. Luckily, my 7:00 PM coaching client had canceled. (Yeah, I’m not minding the occasional cancelation nowadays, that’s for sure. I’ve been stupid-shit crazy busy.)

Anyway, the garage. Opening and closing. In the dark. By itself. For no reason. So I called John (who was also still at work by the way.) He told me to go outside, get the garage remote control from my car, and put it into the refrigerator. Yes, that not a typo. That’s really what he had me do; put the garage remote in the refrigerator.

Can this day get any weirder?!?! It’s like I’m in one of those strange dreams. I’ve had dreams that are more normal than today. But pinch me again. “Ex’s and Oh’s” is still playing on repeat. The garage door is still going up and down.

So I put the garage remote in the refrigerator (something about a faraday cage. One of us should google that.) Whatever, it didn’t work. So now he’s driving up from Albuquerque to rescue me.

Japanese macaques in hot spring, Jigokudani Yaen-Koen, Japan