Happy Health News

Hi, this is just a quick post to let you know that everyone’s biopsies came out cancer-free, yay! We had three members of the family with suspicious lumps and bumps that needed removed and biopsied in the last couple of weeks. Although actually, now that I think about it, this isn’t just a quick post to let you know about our happiness about everyone getting negative results. This is a quick post to nag us all (you and me both) about getting our cancer screenings done!

For example, did you know that, “The American Cancer Society recommends people between the ages of 20 and 40 get a professional skin exam every three years – especially if they live in sunny climates. This recommendation jumps to once annually for people over age 40.“

Uh…oops. I…need to do that! I’m old! And I have blond/red hair! And I live in Tucson! And I am outside as much as possible because that’s what makes me happy! And before I lived in Tucson, I lived in Albuquerque! There’s not much atmosphere between you and the sun up there in Albuquerque. So yeah, I should go do that. Pronto.

Also, do your mammograms. The guidance is, “Women between 40 and 44 have the option to start screening with a mammogram every year. Women 45 to 54 should get mammograms every year. Women 55 and older can switch to a mammogram every other year, or they can choose to continue yearly mammograms.” Mammograms are fast and easy, somewhat uncomfortable, but not invasive. No prep, no IV, no nothing. Easy-peasy! It can’t get easier than this, so just go and do it.

Ok, yeah, it’s a bit uncomfortable. Sure, let’s talk boobs for a minute! For those of you who have never had a mammogram, how it works is you’re supposed to stick your boob into a machine between two horizontal plates so they can x-ray it without x-raying your entire chest. Big-boobed women always whine about mammograms because they have a lot that gets smashed flat into those machines. But think a minute about small-boobed women’s mammogram experience.

Some of us have boobs so small that they don’t stick out far enough to even get into the darn machine! So the technicians are tugging and tugging on our boobs, and we’re pushing up against that machine like we’re trying completely merge into one human-machine cyborg, but there’s still next to nothing sticking out far enough to get between those x-ray plates except one itty-bitty nipple. The technicians are frustrated and it feels like it’s your fault because you somehow aren’t woman enough with your little-boy boobs. Actually, all the technicians I’ve ever had were super sweet about it; I’m just joking here. Bottom line is, the mammogram appointment is not the most dignified moment of one’s day regardless of boob size, but just get it done and laugh about it afterwards.

And finally the important one that most people dread, but isn’t really all that bad – the colonoscopy. They used to say to get your first colonoscopy at age 50, but they’ve lowered that to 45 because the rate of colon cancer in young people is going way up. And don’t just rely on one of those “mail in a sample” tests they are advertising nowadays. Sure, those tests might (might) catch it if you have late stage cancer, but you want to catch it a long, long time before that. Trust me on that. My colon cancer treatment in 2020 was a living nightmare and I will never be the same again. A routine colonoscopy is a walk in the park on a beautiful day in comparison.

Also, the at-home colon cancer tests are useless to protect you against getting cancer. Whereas colonoscopy is not just a screening, it’s a protective measure! During your colonoscopy, the doctor will remove all the polyps that can turn into cancer. I had three polyps removed during my routine colonoscopy last week. That’s 3 polyps that could become cancerous, that weren’t there a couple of years ago during my previous colonoscopy. The doctor was able to remove them right then and there, during the colonoscopy. So it’s not just a screening! It’s an important cancer preventative measure.

As my regular readers remember, I could have died because I didn’t do my first colonoscopy until age 53, at which point, I had a tumor and it had started to spread into lymph nodes – stage 3 colon cancer (with no symptoms). So do your colonoscopies early! Once you’ve done your first one, they will be able to tell you when you need your next one. It may not be for another 10 years if you were all clear with no polyps. I do them a lot more often than that, of course, now that we know I’m such a high risk.

Ok, I’m going to quit nagging you now. But one more note – this post is not a comprehensive list of all the common and recommended cancer screenings out there. It’s just the 3 I felt like talking about this morning. You know how to google. Figure out what your priorities are for your age and risk factors, and make those appointments!

And here’s my accountability – John and I are going to get our skin cancer screenings done asap, right John?

To send me a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

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