Music and new friends in Tucson

I’ve been continuing to work on making connections in Tucson. I haven’t gone to that African drumming class yet. I’m still dubious about that idea. There’s a different drumming class, taiko drumming, that also sounds interesting but is probably more challenging than I want to take on. What I really want to learn how to play is my handpan, which is a metal drum with notes.

It’s not anything like an African drum or a Japanese taiko drum! But I have not been able to find anyone in Tucson who teaches beginning hand panning.

Meanwhile, I checked out a new book club a weekend or two ago. I’m still not convinced that I want to regularly attend a book club. I didn’t particularly enjoy sitting around talking about the book with a bunch of strangers. But the book itself was fantastic. We read La Maravilla by Alfredo Véa, Jr.

I loved the book because it really had a strong sense of time and place (mid-century rural southwest) and the characters were amazingly real and unique. I felt completely immersed in a culture that is unfamiliar to me (actually a mix of several cultures) and yet relevant to my own current existence in 2023 in this same area.

While I’m recommending books, here’s two non-fiction books that I’m currently reading that I also recommend: Work, by James Suzman, and Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg.

Twice now I’ve gone to a new Meet-up group for people who are neurodiverse (autism spectrum, ADHD, sensory sensitivities, etc.). The group is just getting started again after being defunct for awhile, so the first time I went, I was the only one there other than the organizer. That worked fine for me – it was fun to get to know her. She’s about the same age as my kids, and I think she has both autism and ADHD.

We met at a teahouse that’s close to my house.

The tea was expensive, but it was a pretty place, and quiet. I wasn’t familiar with the teahouse, so that was a good discovery. She and I have been texting some since. Our lives are in very different places however, since I’m so much older than her.

The next time I went there were four of us. The others were still a lot younger than me, but that’s ok, usually it’s the opposite – sometimes it seems like there’s nothing but baby boomers in Tucson, who are on average about 10 years older than me. It’s nice to meet some younger friends too.

Then, drumroll…on Saturday night John agreed to go with me to a nearby bar to listen to a live band! John and I don’t like noise and crowds, and we don’t drink, and we like to go to bed early, so we don’t usually go to bars. But I really like live music and I love to dance. It’s a conundrum!

We got lucky – the place was not at all crowded and the patrons were a very tame bunch. Definitely not a pick-up bar, lol, it was mostly old people. Really old! The band members were old too! But still lots of fun.

The place also had a nice outdoor courtyard, which was nearly empty. I don’t know how the place was making any money because the few people who were there didn’t seem to be doing much drinking. There was a small cover charge and we each bought a soda. Lol. It was a great night.

But it was a bit too loud for John. So the next weekend, I tried to find something that was less bar-like and more resort-like. We ended up at the Lookout, which is the smaller and more casual of the two restaurants at the Westward Look Resort. The website said, “Bring your dancing shoes” but I didn’t really believe it. It’s a nice place and caters to out-of-town tourists. I doubted anyone would be dancing, and if they were, I figured it would be ballroom. That doesn’t work for us because I freestyle, and John refuses to dance at all.

We got there right at showtime, and snagged the last table, close to the front. I was afraid it would be too loud for John, but the volume was more reasonable than the previous place. And sure enough, as soon as the band started up, lots of people started dancing, all kinds of types of dancing, anything goes! So my freestyle was fine. And nearly half the people there were out on the dance floor! It was fabulous!

My only complaint was the band was advertised as classical rock, but what they were playing was so very, very classical that it hardly counted as rock. Golden Oldies, maybe, but even that was a stretch. In my opinion, if it was written before I was born it’s not classic rock! But it was danceable, so it was ok.

Almost everyone was older than us (like I mentioned, that seems to be a thing about Tucson). But I did notice one couple about our age (she was actually a bit younger) who were both very good dancers. And they turned out to be super nice too! Our table was right up in front in the crush of the dancing, so they invited us to sit back where they were, which was much nicer. And the volume was low enough that we could actually have a conversation.

Her name is Amy and I think her husband is Fernando, but John and I both forgot his name. We are terrible remembering names. I do really try.

Turns out they are locals too. They were on their second night without power because of that huge storm I wrote about last time, and their house was too hot to sleep. They happened to have a gift certificate for that resort, so they were making the best of the situation and enjoying themselves.

She is a professor at the university, and he used to work at the university in administration of some sort I think, and is now retired. He also lived in Albuquerque for awhile, and we like the same local Albuquerque band, Nosotros.

Now they live in Winterhaven, which is an older planned community in Tucson, locally famous for their extensive Christmas light show. It’s a tight knit community and all the neighbors know each other. I’d like that. But it also has a strong HOA with a lot of rules, including that you have to have a large lawn. That would bug me. Also the community is a complete traffic jam for two weeks every Christmas because thousands of people go to see the Festival of Lights. If I lived there, I would have to be gone every Christmas! But they are very happy there.

We exchanged contact information and I’m hoping we can get together with them again. I also want to go back and dance at this venue again. Here’s the playbill for August.

It looks good – but I’m going to be gone a lot of August and most of September. I wish I could just tap my heels together and instantly commute between Tucson and all the other places I want to be!

That’s what’s next – traveling! First up – Idaho. Stay tuned.

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com.

Kristina’s Website: Life Coaching for Adults with Autism