Getting stuck and maybe unstuck again

I haven’t been blogging very much recently and I’ve wondered why. Part of it is the usual excuse, “busy”. We had the holidays, and then I had migraines the first couple of weeks of January, then I had an unexpected trip to Albuquerque the second half of January. Now I’m just trying to get unpacked and caught up with everything.

I’m suspicious of “busy” as an excuse though, because I am the sort of person who simply adds things to my to-do list until it is no longer do-able. I just take on more until my time is full. So of course I’m busy; I’m always busy. Whether all those things on my to-do list are very important or not – well, that’s a different question. What’s important? The concept of importance is relative to preset goals and values. What am I trying to accomplish and why? Why am I here? What am I doing in life? What is my purpose?! What is the meaning of life?! Nice, big, distracting and ultimately unanswerable questions.

Maybe I’m just losing interest in blogging. Of course all of you are going to lose interest in this blog too, if there’s no content! That would be a self-fulfilling feedback loop, resulting in the demise of this blog.

What I actually think is happening is…I’ve gotten it into my head that my blog posts need to go up in chronological order. In which case, the next blog should be about a desert camping trip we took shortly after the holidays. But that was awhile ago and I don’t really have much to say about it other than, “We like camping and it’s nice to be able to camp in the desert in the winter.” Plus, there’s tons of pictures and it’s slow and boring getting pictures uploaded onto this blog.

Meanwhile, I’ll be going about my day, and I’ll think of some little current thing to say to you about the snow in Albuquerque or the flaming toast in the oven or about how Biska is losing her puppy coat and shedding all over the place. But then I’ll remember, oh, wait, I need to put that camping blog up first. The camping happened before the snow in Albuquerque. But the camping blog sounds like a big project and I don’t want to take on a big project, I just want to reach out briefly and post a snow picture. Or a burning toast picture. But the snow in Albuquerque and the burning toast happened after the desert camping and somehow that matters!

I think that’s the real reason. All my potential little, easy spur-of-the-moment posts about nothing much at all (Burning Toast!), are piling up behind one big, picture-intensive post that I intend to write but don’t really feel like writing, bringing the whole thing to a halt.

Therefore, in order to get myself blogging again, I need to relax my unexamined rules for myself, and allow myself to just hop on and say whatever I want in that moment, regardless of whether some posts end up in the wrong order. And maybe some of those picture-intensive posts aren’t going to make it up at all.

Biska thinks that’s a good idea.

So here’s to a new era of “Posts In The Wrong Order”!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com