Puppy!?!

A bit over a year ago, I posted a quiz that went something like this…

Scenario: Kristina emerges from a few months of chemo-fog and has a freak-out about the high mortality rate for her type of cancer…and starts obsessing about bucket list items. Which bucket list item do you think Kristina chose?

Booked a trip to Costa Rica
Enrolled in a holistic wellness retreat in California
Adopted a puppy
Bought a house

And as most of you know, we bought a house and we’ve been bouncing back and forth between Tucson and Albuquerque ever since.

And for those of you who guessed a puppy a year ago, I wrote this:

“What is holding me back is my uncertainty about my future. I don’t want John to have to deal with two aging dogs, a new puppy, and a sick wife if my cancer comes back. That’s too much. Of course I would like a new puppy – maybe that can be my celebratory gift to myself when I pass my 7-year mark (after which, it’s much less likely that the cancer would come back).

Now you’re all going, “Kristina, you are not going to wait 7 years before you get another dog. We know you better than that.” Ok, you’re right. Probably not. But maybe I should at least wait a couple of years.”

Seven years, lol, I didn’t even make it two years. I barely made it one year! Part of what happened is I unexpectedly ended up with no dogs at all! And I’m definitely not a no-dog person!

To briefly recap – At the start of the pandemic, Callan, worried about my cancer and stressed by their new transition to non-binary gender identity, and working from home due to the pandemic, came to live with John and I for a couple months. Callan wanted a dog, and I had previously promised to go up to Boise to help train a puppy that summer – before my cancer diagnosis, before the pandemic, before all hell broke loose in our lives. Unable to help Callan train a puppy, I decided to give them one of my own dogs, the youngest, Kira.

Then as my health continued to decline, I became less and less able to care for my remaining two dogs, and my friend Sandy started taking them on a regular basis. When our oldest dog, Rosie, started showing serious health issues we took her back and she stayed with us until she passed away, in middle of the summer, in middle of the first round of covid, in middle of my chemo treatments. It was sad, but we estimated her age at 17, so she had a good long run for a dog.

Meanwhile, Sandy kept Kai through the winter of 2020-2021. We thought she wanted to adopt him, but then she got a new job and was going to have to move out of state, and she decided it was too much to try to take him with her. Meanwhile, Kai’s behavior continued to decline and by February, when John and I were in Florida, we got word from Sandy that Kai’s behavior was in a total free-fall.

For several years Kai had been untrustworthy with children, growling and nipping them for no reason. He also bullied the two smaller dogs. And when I got sick he started bulling me too!

In addition to bullying the weaker members of the household, his behavior in general was declining rapidly, probably due to the onset of dementia, coupled with living in too many houses. He was starting to bite people (unprovoked and unexpectedly), and I didn’t have the stamina to deal with an aggressive dog while I was so sick. Since he was already very old (15 years) I was inclined to put him down. But Callan’s roommates volunteered to take him, so now both Kai and Kira are happy with Callan and their roommates. (I hear that Kai still bullies Kira, but she mostly avoids him and it’s working out ok.)

That left me with no dogs at all! From three dogs to none. Then at the beginning of this month I got another clear CT scan. We’re still not seeing any cancer – I can almost start to imagine that it could be gone and not coming back. The truth is, I am by no means out of the woods, but each clear scan is one step closer. And my health has been improving since the low point around this time last year. I think what’s increasing my optimism is the fact that I am slowly gaining energy. I’m feeling much better.

So…puppy? When we first started talking about it, John was understandably hesitant. Dogs take up a lot of time, and make travel more challenging. But I’ve been lost without my dogs!

So we’re fostering a puppy – no commitment yet – but yeah, we love her already. I thought John might continue to be hesitant or reluctant, but no, the moment he met her, he was done for, lol. He thinks she’s great! I mean, who wouldn’t? Have you ever seen a cuter puppy?

I hope you like puppy pictures because I’m guessing you’re going to be seeing a lot more of them for awhile!

To send Kristina a comment, email turning51bykristina@gmail.com

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