Unimportant things I ponder when I’m bored

The highway signs in Arizona on the day before Thanksgiving read, “I like my potatoes mashed and my drivers sober.” And I’m thinking, shouldn’t that actually say “smashed”? 

Or does “mashed” also mean “drunk” nowadays and I’m just dating myself by not staying current with the slang? Do people nowadays go out and get mashed? Or did the bureaucrats not want to actually use the word “smashed” on an electric billboard, it somehow being too risqué, and figured we’d know what they meant by “mashed”? 

Of course I get that potatoes are more likely to be mashed than smashed, but still, I think smashed would have made the whole sign much clearer. The word “smashed” would really work in two different ways, because not only can it mean drunk, it is also what happens to you and your car when you drive drunk – you smash into things. I guess mashed means that as well, but which are you more likely to say, “My car got totally mashed up”, or “my car got totally smashed up”? 

Do you ever get so you just want to fix the dang sign? Lol. Here’s to mashing but not smashing this holiday season.

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