Pink Thinking

So what did you think of my total rant yesterday, huh? LOL. It was inspired by my cancer book. No, seriously. The book says:

“Pink thinking is the common, but mistaken, expectation that suffering people need to think positively and reject any negative feelings…Pink thinking denies the reality of an individual’s suffering and glosses over the hurting person’s pain. Putting pressure on yourself to feel better…(‘I need to stay positive‘)…will probably make you feel worse, and can wear yourself out physically and emotionally…if you’re not having a good day, don’t pressure yourself into faking happiness or pretending everything’s fine. An important reason to allow yourself to feel bad is that when you do, you may actually start to feel a bit better.”*

Yep! And today I do feel a bit better. I recognize that not everyone wants to deal with me ranting. That’s why this blog is useful – if you don’t want to hear it, you don’t have to read it 🙂

I’m still not feeling very well physically, but today I’m a bit improved mentally. That’s going to just come and go – good days and bad days. Today I had a good chat with a client. And John managed to find some groceries for us and for Emily’s family. We are still in Boston, but we plan to start home on Thursday. Meanwhile, John is taking some time off work to get the van ready for the cross-country trip.

I wouldn’t have left Boston this soon – I don’t feel ready and it’s not ideal. But with the coronavirus, we need to be home. So…I’m getting my medical documents transferred to Albuquerque and hoping to get a new medical team together there soon. Ideally I should start chemo by the end of this month.

My new cancer book, that I quoted earlier, was a gift from a stranger. I had signed up for a counseling course (sometimes I go to workshops that are coaching related, for continuing education, to keep my skills up to date). I signed up before I knew I had cancer. When I called to cancel my enrollment, I explained why (going to Boston for cancer surgery). The workshop organizer asked me to give her my Boston address so she could send me the materials for the workshop I’ll be missing.

When the materials came, I discovered they really weren’t much of anything – just a few brochures. But she had also enclosed a book entitled, “Cancer, Now What?” I think her whole reason for sending me “workshop materials” was a ruse to get my address in order to send me the book. Wasn’t that nice of her? It’s a very practical and useful book.

It would actually have been even more useful to read the book before my diagnosis, because it starts off talking about the initial shock of the diagnosis, and how to let your friends and family know about your diagnosis, and things I’ve already had to deal with. But who reads cancer books before they have a diagnosis? I think for most people a cancer diagnosis is a completely unexpected shock, at least it was for me.

But there’s still plenty of great info in the book that will be useful for my next stage – chemo. However, some of the advice, like ways to continue to do some of the things you enjoyed doing before getting cancer, aren’t practical right now. I don’t suppose anyone’s written a book called, “How to have cancer during a pandemic” But we are all struggling with the sudden changes in our lives due the the coronavirus.

*CANCER – Now What? Taking Action, Finding Hope, and navigating the journey ahead. A practical guide for those with cancer and their loved ones. By Kenneth C. Haugk, Ph.D.