Decision making and career identification

On our drive to and from Boise, John and I listened to several TED talks that I had downloaded before we left. They contained tons of interesting information, but one nugget that stuck with me is this: we are happier with our decisions if there is no option to change our decision later.

The study was more complicated than I want to try to describe, but basically, the participants had to choose their favorite of several things they made – they would get to keep only one. Some of them had to make their final decision immediately. Others were asked to choose one, but they had several days to exchange it for a different one if they changed their minds.

Wouldn’t you rather have the option to change your mind? It seems like we all would, but some time later, they followed up with the participants, and the participants who weren’t given the option to change their mind liked their items better than the participants who were given several days to change their mind – regardless of whether those who could, actually did exchange their item.

Turns out we are more satisfied with our decisions when we make a final commitment at the time of the decision. At least according to that series of studies. And it makes some sense.

For example, I quit my job in April, and I haven’t decided whether I’m going back to work or not. It seems like that would be a really wonderful situation. Maybe I will – maybe I won’t. I can do whatever I want! And I do feel privileged to be in that position. But I’m finding it surprisingly stressful and unsatisfying to have that option open indefinitely.

I keep starting to look for a new job, and then deciding against it, and then not knowing whether I should or not…I’m really in limbo. And I think I just need to embrace something. Am I going back to work soon? Later? Never? Am I retired? Changing careers?

I have accepted a few new coaching clients, but I’m not even sure about that. How many clients do I want? Is coaching going to be my primary endeavor?

When people ask me what I do, should I say I’m a coach? Or should I say I’m retired? Yes, people ask. My bank asked me yesterday, and I wasn’t even applying for a loan, I was just opening a new deposit account. Not two hours later we ran into friends of John’s at Golden Pride, a local fast food place, and once again, my career status came up. Where do I work? What do I do?

Who am I?