I think I’m falling apart

I chipped a huge piece of tooth off! The top back part of one of my front lower teeth broke off while I was eating a grilled cheese sandwich! Apparently the cheese wasn’t soft enough?

It sheared off the back side of the tooth, so you can’t actually see the damage (unless you stick your head in my mouth). But my tongue sure notices! I’ve been chewing gingerly, afraid that more of it will crumble.

In general I have strong teeth, but I clench my jaw and grind my teeth at night. I’m currently using a plastic cushioning device at night, which is really cutting down on the number of migraines. But I spent a lot of years inadvertently damaging my teeth. Previous mouth guards I’ve tried in years past never worked, because they were a hard plastic. This new style is the first one I’ve tried with a softer, cushioning plastic. Because they are a softer plastic, they’re designed to be disposable. They’re called “Plackers Grind No More” and I recommend them highly for anyone who grinds their teeth and gets headaches.

The other big issue at the moment is I AM NOT SLEEPING! I suppose it’s the stress of buying a house and the imminent move. And I’m leaving my job, which I’ll miss. I often have trouble sleeping when making big changes like moving and changing jobs.

I’ve been waking up around 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, and staying awake for a couple of hours. The sleep experts say to get up when you’re not sleeping, but I don’t agree. I think it’s better to just lay there quietly. I’m trained in mindfulness techniques, so I know how to quiet my thinking and not lay there worrying or anything. I think it’s better than getting up and trying to read or something. Plus, I don’t want to disturb John.

My Oura, the sleep tracker, is fooled. It categorizes my quiet awake times as “light sleep” and thinks I’m getting a fantastic amount of sleep. Wrong!

Last night I woke up at around 3 AM and was awake until almost 5:00, although my tracker miss categorized much of it as light sleep with only a few awake periods. Then around 5:00 I went back to sleep, and you can see the expected rem-light-rem-light pattern until after 6:00. I took today off work (the goal is to start packing), so that’s why I didn’t get up at 6:00.

Here you can see I woke up at 2 AM and was awake until about 5:00, when I went back into the rem-light-rem-light pattern. This one’s from a couple of nights ago. I actually did fall back asleep at 5:00 and slept well past 6:00 and was almost late to work. I find that the rem (light blue bar) is quite accurate. It’s just the light sleep that’s not accurate. That big long uninterrupted stretch of light sleep was actually me wide awake, laying still and practicing mindfulness.