So much for being an inspiration

Yesterday morning I met with my new boss, who is a very nice older guy (he has come back from retirement). The meeting went “well” by all appearances.

Unfortunately, we have very different approaches, and prioritize very differently. Our office is chronically understaffed, due mainly to very low wages and the extremely high cost of living in Santa Fe as compared to Albuquerque. In a chronic understaffed situation, appropriate prioritization of staff time can make or break a program.

I left the meeting with his list of pivots he wants us to make. Corners to cut, things to prioritize over what we had been prioritizing. His approach more highly prioritizes the metrics required by our regulator, and de-emphasizes actually finding pollution emissions. Metrics over what matters. I know that bosses have to work to the metrics. But it’s always demoralizing for staff who are putting up with low pay because they believe in what they do.

I called my team together to deliver our new marching orders. As we went through my list of our new boss’s requirement’s of my team, and got to the productivity quotas that I’m being required to impose on my already extremely hardworking team, I burst into tears. The quotas are based in ignorance of how hard my team works and how brilliant they are. And they are based in ignorance of all the other tasks my team has to complete. But most importantly, they are check-the-box exercises that will not do anything to stem the rampant disregard for the pollution limits in the permits for the oil and gas plants.

My team reassured me that they would have no trouble meeting the new quotas. They assured me that they can do the check-the-box exercises for the metrics and still have enough time to look at some of the real data, to do some actual substantive work, to find some actual emission violations. It was embarrassing to cry in front of them, and to have them reassure me. It’s supposed to be the other way around. I’m supposed to be encouraging and motivating them.

I had hoped to last a few more months. I may not even last a few more weeks, before I pack up my few personal items and walk out. I can guess who they would replace me with, and my team, who love me, will rebel. I console myself with the belief that my departure will be the impetus they need to go find better jobs. But the oil and gas industry will continue to rule the skies in New Mexico.

And me? I don’t know what I want to do next. I’m on my way to visit Laura, so maybe by the time I get back next week, I’ll have a more enlightened perspective. Stay tuned!