My Life in Houses

I’m reading a book (that I wouldn’t widely recommend because I think most people would find it boring) but I’m finding it thought provoking. It’s an autobiography, and it’s titled, ‘My Life in Houses’. Doesn’t that sound like my kind of book?

It’s written by an Englishwoman, Margaret Forester, who was born in the late 1930’s. She uses the different houses she lived in during her life as structure for her autobiography. She explores the concept of how our living spaces influence our beliefs, our productivity, and our expectations of life.

She spent her childhood in Council Houses (government project houses for the poor). She and her husband make steady economic progress, and although I don’t think they are ever really wealthy, they do end up with a variety of housing options and choices – remodeling, purchasing a vacation home, purchasing a rental, and for awhile they had one house for half the year and another house in a different location for the other half of the year.

Although she didn’t enjoy the chaos of moving or remodeling or living part time in various houses, she did find it enriched her writing career. She felt that being in London at least part of the time was necessary for idea generating and creativity, but then she would to retreat to the countryside to write it all down.

She also used the idea of caring for houses (remodeling, landscaping, etc.) as an analogy for caring for and upkeeping our bodies, and our careers, and our friendships. She was greatly saddened when she would occasionally come upon an abandoned structure during her trekking, and wondered how it could have come to that – that so much initial investment was eventually simply abandoned.

In addition to her writing career (she has published multiple novels and biographies), she also raised a family. She survived breast cancer at a young age, and then several decades later, at the very end of her life, the cancer returned. The last chapter of the book includes discussions of living in a hospital, at home, and in hospice, and is very interesting to hear what is important to her regarding her living spaces in that final stage of terminal cancer. It sounds sad, but it was more thoughtful than anything.

The book really helped me think about what I would like regarding my living situation as I get older. John has never experienced chronic illness or physical dependence like I have. So I don’t think he really knows what he would want when he’s very old, other than, obviously, to stay independent. Well, we all want that. But what about when we start needing some help? I think I have a better sense than he does of what kinds of interactions and connections I would want to have with others as I age.

That impacts what we want in our early retirement years, when we will presumably still be healthy. He wants travel and adventure – whereas I want to use the time to strengthen relationships with close friends & family. He imagines us living abroad for a time, while I plot to buy a house near my daughter. Maybe we can do both?