Say what?

I spent today trying to write an SOP (Standard Operating Procedure, ie. step-by-step instructions) for a process that I’ve never actually done myself. That pretty much sums up my job.

I understand my job a little bit better than last month, but I’m still getting incomprehensible phone calls and emails. Like this one:

“I certainly don’t know the AQBCR data transfer components but the error that you’re getting appears to be related to an owner cross-reference table and I wouldn’t think that missing Tempo attachment data (do you even synchronize that data?) would be related. The fact that you’re getting a unique constraint violation looks like it’s trying to re-insert data that already exists which also doesn’t sound like it could be related to missing blob data. I would take a look at that particular constraint and see if you can figure out why it might be failing but again I don’t know your data transfer components.”

I mean, “missing blob data”? Seriously? That’s a thing? Or is someone just yanking my chain? From what I can tell, that email means, “I know something about your problem, but I can’t help you. If you knew more about your problem than I do, maybe you could help yourself.”

I swear my job is just translating specialist-speak into English. And that’s just the database stuff. The gibberish related to oil refineries, gas plants and compressor stations is even more incomprehensible.

Meanwhile, our Bureau Chief is retiring (that’s the boss above my boss). I’m predicting my boss will get the position. Which means, yes, once again I’ll be in the position of wondering who my new boss will be!