In which, Kristina prepares for an interview

The first order of business is to not be mistaken for a baby-boomer! I am Gen-X, or as I like to say, “In the shadow.” We’re the forgotten ones, the ones who got to the table just a little too late. All our lives we’ve been a little bit behind and not quite good enough, or rich enough, or advanced enough, and definitely not experienced enough. We haven’t quite had what it takes. We don’t even have a real name. X.

Until now – now the tables are slowly turning, now we are finally, finally, developing a slight advantage…we are just slightly younger than the boomers. YOUNGER! Ageism is alive and well in this country, and certain companies I am associated with are actively trying to reduce the average age of their workforce. Since no one is getting any younger, that means they need to hire the youth. Of which I am not.

I cannot hide the date that I got my first college degree. It’s right there on my resume in bold, black type. 1993. Back then, the 6 subsequent years it took me to get my master’s degree seemed like an eternity (I was slowed down by 2 little kids and a divorce). But even my master’s was completed before the turn of this most recent century. My resume lists degrees achieved in the 1900’s – never mind that I got my master’s in 1999, so close, SO CLOSE, to 2000’s, so close, but not quite. Glance at my resume and it’s all nines instead of twos.

Therefore, I cannot also LOOK old. I own two beautiful interview suits, one in light beige for the summer and one in muted blue/green/grays for the winter. The skirts hit my knee just so, and the matching jackets are well tailored. But I need to give them away. They are too formal, and make me look…old. Instead, I bought a pair of gray slacks that narrow at the ankle (which is the style again), tossed on a white shell and short sleeved, summer-weight blue sweater, and called it good.

Second problem – the resume gap. I haven’t once, in this past year and a half, remotely considered myself unemployed. But HR does. My resume goes as far as January 2016 – and stops. I spent hours rehearsing in my mind (more like, worrying about) what I would say about that gap. Do I describe the houses I’ve bought, sold and remodeled? Do I mention redoing my websites and revamping my coaching business?

The problem of the resume gap is closely related to the confusions of a dual career. I got my coaching certification only two years after my master’s degree. I’ve run a dual career for the entirety of my career, I don’t see any reason for that to change. But I’ve never found my colleagues in one field to be particularly tolerant of my other field.

How can I work for a nuclear weapons lab and also be a Bay Area-trained, woo-woo life coach? Labbies are not generally impressed by life coaches. Life coaches are not generally impressed by labbies. (Google it. Here, I’ll google it for you, http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=labbie). Not sure if this term is used in California, but it is in New Mexico. Here labbies are one of many subcultures that create the crazy diversity of this beautiful, beautiful, mostly-brown and entirely unique state.

Personally, I see no conflict between labs and life coaching. This is not compartmentalizing on my part. I know how much my coaching experience improves my performance as an environmental scientist, and how much my environmental science experience improves my performance as a coach. It all makes coherent sense to me – but not really to anybody else.  I have experimented with more or less disclosure, until I have finally given up. I’ve decided to simply keep the two careers separate. Two email accounts. Two online profiles. Two LinkedIn accounts. And no mention of coaching on my environmental science resume.

My third and final issue (in addition to age and resume gap) is references.  When John was transferred to California, our company figured they needed to transfer me too (they really wanted him). Lacking any openings in the department where I should have been, they dumped me on a manager who would not have chosen me if he had a choice. He and I made a valiant effort for 4 years to make it work. Finally in the end, when I started to openly try to get transferred to another department, it only made things worse.

So I decided the next time I work for anyone, they’re going to reach out and choose me. They’re going to hand-pick me, and they’re going to want me. My coaching clients send hefty checks out of their hard-earned money because they want what I offer. REALLY want what I offer. And I am done working where I am not appreciated. That includes working at home on rentals and remodels. I am not doing that shit for the love of it.

So. Old age, resume gap, and a previous supervisor who doesn’t return my emails or phone calls. Yikes! Am I unemployable? So I reached out to others…past supervisors, previous in-house customers, mentors, friends. And I got dramatic results – within minutes or hours – the emails, calls and texts came pouring back. I can’t tell you how touched, how grateful…some of these colleagues haven’t heard from me in literally years (my bad) and yet, there they are for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will never forget you either. Though we all move away, and the years fly by too fast, we’re still there for each other.

And that is why I want a job. John and I don’t need the money, and I certainly don’t lack for things to do. But I miss belonging somewhere, miss being part of something bigger than myself. And I miss you guys! (Well, most of you 😝)