I am always on a migraine-prevention diet, but I also recently started a weight-loss diet. I don’t need to lose very much, but I figure it’s easier to lose a small amount now, than put it off and have to lose a larger amount later. I’ve had success with this particular diet before, but I slowly gained weight this spring while focusing on other things. Inattention!
I’m going to talk about what works for me on a diet, but with the caveat that I don’t mean to imply that this diet is best for everyone. We’re all different, and what works for me may not work for others.
First, the basics.
Exercise or limit food?
I do a combination of increasing my exercise and decreasing my food intake, but I think that limiting food makes a bigger difference for me than increasing exercise. In addition to limiting food, I also have a number of rules about what I can eat and when I can eat it.
I must have rules
For me, having a strong set of rules, with specific exceptions, is really important. I can’t be making in-the-moment judgement calls – I won’t make the right call. I have to have hard and fast rules. And having clear, precise exceptions are every bit as important as having clear, precise rules. If I don’t have a good, robust set of completely guilt-free exceptions, then I’ll end up making in-the-moment judgement calls for special occasions. Which won’t go well.
I must have hunger
For me it’s important to have a realistic expectation of hunger. If I’m losing weight, then I’m going to feel hungry, obviously, naturally. That’s what hunger is all about. Therefore, the feeling of hunger – as unpleasant as it may be – means I’m doing it right. It’s like sore muscles after exercise; it may not feel good, but it’s proof that I’m successfully limiting my calories.
Usually there’s at least a week or two of lag time between the start of the diet and actual measurable weight loss. So having the feeling of hunger is actually important – it’s the only rapid feedback I get that I might be doing something right. And timely feedback is really important when trying to achieve any kind of goal.
I also appreciate feeling hungry because it saves me from having to count calories (which is insanely tedious and I refuse to take the time). Hunger is a built-in calorie counter – very handy!
So I embrace the hunger as evidence that I’m actually managing to cut my calories enough for my body to sit up and take notice. I expect to feel hungry for a portion of every day.
Lose it slow
It helps me to have a goal of only losing the weight slowly. This helps me go about it in a healthy, moderate way, and it helps me have realistic expectations so I don’t get discouraged.
I don’t expect to see any weight loss for at least the first 2 weeks, or maybe even a month. In fact, I would not be surprised to see weight gain the first week, if I had been trending in that direction already. It’s like turning a train around. First you have to slow it down. Then stop it. Then it can start going in the other direction.
Then once the weight loss starts, I only expect to lose about a pound a month.
Here’s my rules for my weight-loss diet:
Window of time:
I only eat during an 8-hour window of each day. In my case, that’s noon to 8:00 PM. I think it would be better if that 8-hour window were earlier (like 10 AM – 6 PM). But in my case, John often doesn’t get home until after 7 PM, and I like to be able to eat with him once a day. I once knew someone who only ate from 8 AM – 4 PM, and that worked well for him. But he wasn’t trying to eat dinner with a spouse. The rational (and research studies) explaining this short window is found in the book, “Buddha’s Diet” by Tara Cottrell and Dan Zigmond.
Exception: If I know that I will not be able to eat between 12:00-3:00 for some very good reason (travel, important meeting), then I will eat prior to noon, but as late in the morning as possible, rather than waiting until after 3:00 PM, which is just too long for me.
Desserts and sweets:
- Desserts must be eaten before 4:00 PM.
- No candy, chocolate, or packaged bakery items (packaged, frozen, or boxed things like cookies, pastries, store-made pies, etc.).
Exceptions (when desserts are ok):
- A high quality dessert at a restaurant for a special occasion.
- A home-made dessert served to me at a sit-down dinner. (Evening potlucks or other smorgasbord-type eating arrangements are not exceptions and not ok. Snacks at a social event, when just set out, are not exceptions and not ok.)
- Small amounts of hard candy are ok on a backpacking trip.
- A small, child-sized scoop of ice cream is ok when out with John on the weekend and he wants to stop at an ice cream shop.
- A small amount (1 spoon) of high-quality ice cream is ok prior to 4 PM.
- One small homemade cookie, or 1/2 slice homemade cake ok prior to 4 PM, no more than twice per week.
Portion size:
Portion sizes must always be pre-determined (no eating straight out of a box or bag). This tip, and many more like it, are found in the book “Mindless Eating” by Brian Wansink (not to be confused with a different book by a similar title). I also always put my food on little plates and in little bowls, which makes it easier to limit portion sizes.
What to eat:
For me, diet isn’t just about what not to eat. A large part of the diet is convincing myself to eat vegetables. Lots of them. I find the easiest time to eat vegetables is when I’m hungry. So I cook and eat my vegetables first. It’s ok to eat a lot of vegetables. Then after I’ve had my vegetables, I think about what else to eat.
Do not eat crappy calories:
I figure it either needs to taste wonderful, or be really healthy (or both). But if it’s high in useless calories and I bite into it and realize it’s not really all that good, I throw it out. It takes a lot of determination to throw out food. It’s against all instincts. But it’s better in the garbage than in you if it isn’t actually good for you. I figure I can only eat a certain number of calories each day – I want them to be the best ones I can get.
Know my vulnerabilities:
For me, my most vulnerable times are 1) when I’m stuck at my desk with nothing compelling to do, and 2) in the last hour before bedtime.
It’s useful to know my vulnerabilities so I can make contingency plans. For example, I try to notice when I’m feeling stuck at my desk, and remember to think about whether it’s time to take a walk or shift to a different task. Also in the evening, I try to get the kitchen cleaned up after dinner quickly, and not hang around near the kitchen after dinner.
Be aware of influences
Influences can come from our own old habits, or they can come from the people around us or social cues around us. These are the things we use to determine – often without really even thinking about it – what is “ok” or “reasonable” to eat. If our influences are counter to our diet, it’s important to notice that and counteract that. When I see other people eating in a different way than I eat, I remind myself, “I don’t eat that,” or “That’s not how I eat.”
If it works, make it a habit
There’s a specific type of salad that I’m generally happy to eat. So I’ve made it a habit to eat it at noon, as my first food of the day. It has become a routine, like drinking my coffee and my green tea. It would be boring if that were all I was eating, but I vary my other foods throughout the day. Routines are important because they are repeated over and over, and end up having a large impact over time. So I find it useful to be aware of my routines and choose them wisely.
Exercise
There is a fundamental characteristic about exercise that makes it easier for me than limiting my food intake. Exercise only has to be done once per day. Then I’m done. Ta-da! Task accomplished! I don’t have to worry about it again for the rest of the day.
Limiting food intake, however, has to be done all day, many, many times throughout the day. It has to be done every time my brain suggests food (which is often because making sure I eat is an important part of its job).
For me, the easiest way to get myself to exercise is to be going somewhere. If I go for a jog, I almost automatically keep going. That doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally have to give myself a pep talk, particularly when I pass a street that would be a shortcut home (“no, keep going down this other route, it’ll be fine.”) But when I’m on a treadmill, I could stop at any time (and not be stuck a mile away from anywhere).
Hiking is similar. Yes, I could turn around at any time, but I couldn’t just be done at any time. If I were to turn around, I’d still have to hike back to the trailhead. Turning around isn’t really all that more appealing than continuing, because both options require hiking for awhile yet.
I will also do freestyle jazzercise type exercising at home to music with small hand weights. I enjoy the music, and when I’m hyped up this can be a really fun and strenuous workout. But the main problem with this type of exercise is it’s possible to stop at any time. Therefore, it’s tempting to stop at any time.
It’s also easy to lapse into a half-hearted version of jazzercise where I’m basically just standing there, maybe bopping around a little bit. I’ve even caught myself standing at my computer, scrolling through my music, or even answering an email, with my feet slightly wiggling and my butt slowly wagging. That is not exercise!
Whereas with jogging, I can’t really do a half-hearted version. I’m either jogging or I’m not jogging. (If you were a runner, then I guess jogging would be your half-hearted version of running.) But at my age, with a hilly local terrain, at 5,600 ft altitude, anything that’s jogging-and-not-walking is plenty good enough.
Another key for me, is to pay attention to and take seriously the details of what works and doesn’t work for me. If I expect myself to implement a plan that doesn’t really work for me, then I will fail. For example, I don’t like to jog at any point during the day after I’ve eaten anything. So that means I need to jog in the morning, not the evening. That’s not a problem if my schedule is flexible, but it makes for cold dark winter mornings if I have an office job that starts at 8:00 AM.
I also don’t like to jog with cars whizzing past me, or in front of a lot of people who have nothing better to do than watch me jog by. You might laugh – but being honest with yourself about what works and doesn’t work will help you be diligent about finding ways to make it work.