Kristina needs a cubicle

Dear Universe,

Here’s what I want. I want somebody to give me a cubicle, please. I want to go there every day, 5 days a week, and do something that takes a fair amount of thought and contemplation. Because a mind is a stupidly dangerous thing to waste. And I am more of a thinker than an implementer. And we do not want me driving myself and everyone around me crazy.

I know the concept of me being a thinker more than an implementer may come as a slight surprise to some people, who may note how much I seem to always be getting done. And it’s true, I can be determined. But this implementing shit isn’t working for me!

I know it may not seem to make a lot of sense to add yet another thing to my life, when I’m already handling migraines and clients and rentals and remodels. But you can have all those, I don’t like any of it except my clients. I love my clients. I plan to keep a few clients. I can schedule my phone calls with my clients in the evenings, because John doesn’t come home until really late. And, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m only up for having a few clients anyway. I love them, but they take a lot out of me. A few is fine. A few is perfect.

And dear universe, I know you’re not going to actually take away my migraines, LOL, as if! That would be too much to ask. I will continue to deal with those. Because we all have to have something that is intractable in life, or else how could we truly practice empathy for everyone else who also has a thing that won’t go away?

Please note that I’m perfectly fine typing on my computer with a migraine. I do it all the time. I’m doing it right now, actually, as we speak! Right exactly now! Just because I want to! So please, I would love a cubicle and something “cubicle-like” to do there.

I would like a cubicle and things to do on my computer that someone actually cares about getting done. That’s important – I want to be appreciated, valued, and respected. And I want enough work to keep me busy, but not so much that I can’t do a good job. And very few meetings, please. I like meetings fine, but I can only do my “pleasant, professional, public face” for so long before the introvert in me starts glowering.

I really should have been an engineer, but I was mislead in my youth by gender-biased people. I don’t want to go into it because it sounds blame-y and mean. My life is my responsibility. And yes, I’ve always liked to write, but there are lots of engineers out there who write very well, and that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have been engineers.

So could I please do something kind of engineer-y with my environmental science degree, and not education-community-social-planning-political? Regulatory compliance is fine, as long as I’m not being shouted at by stakeholders who hate each other.

I just want to sit in a cubicle with a few people around me who are doing approximately the same thing I’m doing. So we can occasionally chat in the lunchroom about whatever it is we’re doing.

And (please don’t start laughing), I would like those people to be kind, friendly people who respect my contribution to the team. And who don’t mind (when we’re chatting in the lunch room) that my food is weird! (Ok, now you can laugh.) But seriously, I want to be able to eat broth with seaweed, and strange things in my salad. I promise I won’t bring any fish. I understand that fish doesn’t go over well in the workplace.

Oh! And clean bathrooms. Well ventilated. That would be so fantastic. And not too much air conditioning. I really don’t want to be bring my parka to work in August. And a window? Maybe?

I know, I know, I’m the one who quit my last job. With the beautiful cubicle with windows facing both east and south. I’m not going to say on a public blog why I quit that job (even though only about 4 people actually read this blog). Each of the 4 of you think you know why I quit that job, but you don’t. I tried to tell John once, but I don’t think he understood.

Let’s just say, the problem wasn’t having a job, the problem was that particular job. So I would like to have another one, thanks!