The headless man in my bed

I woke up at 5:00 AM to discover that John was gone. I didn’t worry too much about it, until I realized there was actually something in the bed with me.

Maybe it was John, but it had no head on the pillow. So I lifted the pillow, and there was no head under the pillow either! There was a headless something in bed with me!

I started patting the angular, headless object with increasing agitation (yeah, ok, I was hitting it) until suddenly a long arm reached up from down near my feet and patted me back. It was John, and he was alive.

My sleep-numbed brain tried to figure the situation out. Why was I sleeping with his feet? Finally I said, “Was I snoring?” and he said, “No.” And that was all. So WTF John?!?